Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Ceremony and legal marriage on different days of same week?

Hi (:

So, my FI and I are planning on getting married May 25, 2015. It's a Monday, but it's the day we first started dating and it's very special to us. I'm not one to go the route of legally getting married one day and "plan" to have just a reception later on, but I can't have my wedding on a Monday. I would want to have a full ceremony and reception either the Saturday before or the Saturday after. Is that weird? The date is just so important to me, I can't find it in myself to sacrifice it.

Thanks! (:
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Re: Ceremony and legal marriage on different days of same week?

  • Can you do it this year so it's on a Sunday?  I think that's Memorial weekend so people would be able to recover still the next day, lol.
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    tally7
  • I wanted to wait until I was out of school. It isn't something I want to rush or postpone for several years just so the date is convenient for other people. And QueerFemme I appreciate your answer, but there will be nothing fake about my wedding, regardless if it's the day of the legalization or not.
    [Deleted User]
  • @Sugargirl1019 I'm not trying to attack you or anything, I just should have realized what the majority of people would say.
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
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    edited February 2014
    1. Yes, it's weird for the date you started dating to be THAT important that nothing else seems to matter.

    2. Yes, it's weird that you think having a "wedding" on any other day than you actual wedding day is okay. 

    3. Regardless of what date you started dating, the anniversary of your wedding will also be very important to you. 

    The date that FI and I started dating is very important to me also. On that exact date seven years earlier, something huge happened in my life and on that exact date five years after we started dating, something significant happened to both of that really sealed our relationship and made us want to get married. Would I absolutely love to get married on this date? Fuck yes!! But it's a Tuesday this year in April. April is probably the worst possible time of year in the area where we're getting married. So we went with another date. We thought long and hard about it and had we wanted a smaller wedding, we would have gone with the Tuesday date. 

    You really have to think about what is more important here - the date or the big to-do on a Saturday. You cannot have "the best of both worlds". 

    ETA because words are hard.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    doeydoPrettyGirlLostmrsfinni
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited February 2014
    Sorry but what you are planning is the definition of a PPD: getting married one day then having a fake 'wedding' another day.  Just pick one date and plan it.
    image
    PrettyGirlLostAshleyNicole1218STARMOON44
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
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    kolacsky said:
    I'm not looking to have a PPD and I don't expect everyone to agree with me.   Getting married on one date then having another ceremony where you pretend to get married again is the definition of a PPD.  And I said the Saturday BEFORE or after. How is this even going to work?  So you are going to pretend to get married on the 23rd, but then go to the JOP and actually get married on the 25th?  Or you are going to the JOP to be married on the 25th and then pretend to get married again on the 30th?  That makes no sense to me.   I'm not looking to get married for any benefit to myself or my fiance other than I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.   If that were true then you would be willing to get married AND have your ceremony/reception all on the same day, like basically everyone else does.  Instead you are hung up on your dating anniversary date, and are planning a pre-PPD or an actual PPD.  The date holds a special place in my heart.  Your wedding date will also hold a special place in your heart too, no matter the date.  I don't believe a wedding is 100% for the bride. It's a celebration of love and commitment that I want to share with my family and friends, and I won't inconvenience everyone  then you should pick a date in which they can all be there to witness your actual marriage, and not a reenactment.  So if that means you don't get married on your dating anniversary, then so be it.   nor will I sacrifice the most important aspect of my wedding, being the date. I'm not lying to anyone, So you are going to send invitations out to everyone that invite them to your Pre-Wedding Celebration or the Celebration of the Marriage of Mr. and Mrs. kolacsky?  You can't invite people to a wedding that hasn't actually happened yet, or to one that already happened.  I'm not having a "do-over," I'm trying to have the best of both worlds. Pretending to get married in front of your friends and families by having a ceremony when you are already married is a do-over.  It's my own fault for asking people who should really have no opinion on my wedding.  No it's your own fault for having silly priorities.
    I'm not trying to come across as mean or bitchy, I'm just being realistic.

    And look, if the date is the most important aspect of your wedding, then you are doing it wrong.  The date should actually be the most inconsequential aspect, until you are actually married, and then that date will have significance and sentimentality because it was the date you married the person you deeply love and want to spend the rest of your life with.

    Things that rank at the top of the most important aspect of your wedding are
    ~ Your FI!!!!
    ~ Your friends and families.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    doeydomrsfinnishamrock789
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
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    Why is the date so important? Sure, the day you started dating is important but why do you have to get married on that day? If you want to have a wedding "for everyone else's" sake instead of your own, then you would just forget the date and make a NEW date special.

    PrettyGirlLost
  • I don't feel that it is weird at all! My husband and I were legally married in August of 2013 but are having an official ceremony in 2015 due to expenses issues, family involvement, and him leaving for the army. We've been forced to work around a lot, though we are still having a wedding. In conclusion, do what you feel the need to do. It's YOUR day, no one elses! You could simply dub it a "Celebration of marriage" or a "vow renewal", it all falls under the wedding category, just non-traditional; and who does things traditional nowadays anwyho? :)
    Knottie37373131[Deleted User]
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder
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    I don't feel that it is weird at all! My husband and I were legally married in August of 2013 but are having an official ceremony in 2015 due to expenses issues, family involvement, and him leaving for the army. We've been forced to work around a lot, though we are still having a wedding. In conclusion, do what you feel the need to do. It's YOUR day, no one elses! You could simply dub it a "Celebration of marriage" or a "vow renewal", it all falls under the wedding category, just non-traditional; and who does things traditional nowadays anwyho? :)

    Umm... do you understand that your legal ceremony is your official one? Or do you not understand what getting legally married means?
    ~*~*~*~*~

    PrettyGirlLostAshleyNicole1218
  • I don't feel that it is weird at all! My husband and I were legally married in August of 2013 but are having an official ceremony in 2015 due to expenses issues, family involvement, and him leaving for the army. We've been forced to work around a lot, though we are still having a wedding. In conclusion, do what you feel the need to do. It's YOUR day, no one elses! You could simply dub it a "Celebration of marriage" or a "vow renewal", it all falls under the wedding category, just non-traditional; and who does things traditional nowadays anwyho? :)

    To the bolded.  Um, no. you aren't.   The only way you are having a wedding is if you get divorced in between now and then.

    To the original poster...  you should definately take the advice of the ONE person who agrees with you, and is doing the same thing you are planning, compared to the many, many other people who gave you valid reasons not to do it this way.  <insert sarcasm here>

     


     

    PrettyGirlLostAshleyNicole1218casey8784Kahlyla
  • OP: It is very weird that you are obsessed with a calender date.  It is weird that you think that this date is more important than your guests.  Nobody here understands this, and your guests won't, either.  You are going to confuse and offend people.
    Since you have already decided that this is what you are going to do, there is nothing we can say to stop you from making a total ass of yourself.  It is a PPD.
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    PrettyGirlLostAshleyNicole1218NYCMercedes
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