Fi just suggested a PPD.

JennyColada

So I've been stressing over work and quitting before finding a new job since I can't lapse on my medical insurance (and I really want to avoid paying COBRA for more than necessary because that shit's expensive yo).

Last night, in an effort to calm my nerves Fi says "well don't worry. If we need to get you on my medical plan we can just go to the courthouse and sign papers. That won't stop us from having our wedding later on when we want to with our family!"

Must. Shut. Mouth. Must. Not. Bite. Head. Off.

But this has definitely spurred me into "oh crap, I really need to find a new job!" mode.

JennyColada

Although really I just wanted an excuse to use that gif.

OliveOilsMom

Some medical plans allow you to add a domestic partner.  Your FI should ask about this at work.  This is assuming you live together.  My BIL was able to be added to his FI (and now W)'s medical plan because her employer allowed domestic partners.  I wanted to add my now H, but my employer didn't have the domestic partners allowance.  You would not be pre-taxed for your premiums, but this could be an option for you - if you really need to quit your job.  This would be considered a life event and you should be able to be added right away to your FI's plan - if they allow it.

JennyColada

OliveOilsMom said:

Some medical plans allow you to add a domestic partner.  Your FI should ask about this at work.  This is assuming you live together.  My BIL was able to be added to his FI (and now W)'s medical plan because her employer allowed domestic partners.  I wanted to add my now H, but my employer didn't have the domestic partners allowance.  You would not be pre-taxed for your premiums, but this could be an option for you - if you really need to quit your job.  This would be considered a life event and you should be able to be added right away to your FI's plan - if they allow it.

We haven't been living together for long though, only a few months, and most plans require you to share certain finances (which would be easy enough) and show proof that you've lived together for X amount of time.

I mean, really, it's not like my work is causing me physical anguish, and I'm just stressed out by it. But I think I can tough it out for a month or two before I find something else.

The thing that is really mind boggling is, even before I came to TK, the idea of getting married before getting "married" never even entered into my brain as a feasible option. Even before I came here, I knew that was my REAL wedding, and not just some formality that I can do whenever.

pumpkinsandturkeys

When FI added me to his insurance, we didn't have to show proof of anything. Granted, I'm in a different country, but it's worth looking into.

Also, the PPD suggestion is hilarious. Silly men.

JennyColada

I mean, it's sweet that he was trying to be supportive in the "there's nothing to worry about" kind of way.

But it just boggles my mind how the idea of a PPD even enters people's heads.

If it ever got to that point, though, I'd just push our "actual" wedding up since it's going to be so small and informal anyway.

StephJean83

My FH suggested it to me when we thought my company was dropping insurance. He asked about domestic partners since I technically work part time and FH does pay certain joint bills(car insurance for example). His employer said they don't to opposite sex couples but do to same sex couples. He didn't press further to see if the same sex would have to be married in a state that allows since it isn't allowed in our state or if they offer only to them since "technically" we can just go to the courthouse and they can't.

I am amazed at how a lot of people seem to think that is ok. I see on FB how people are going to "sign the papers" bit will have a "wedding" later.