Unequal wedding parties?

McCMal

I am from out of state, so I have very few girlfriends to ask to be in my wedding party. So far I have my FI's sister as a MOH, his cousin, and a friend of ours, who's FI will be his Groomsman. So that's three. I love them all to death, and am very happy to have them in my wedding party. We're going to be in our friends WP as well. 

I was going to ask my brother's girlfriend, but they have broken up. My FI is asking my brother as well. 

I was also going to ask my friend from my first job here, but she is now currently dating my FI cousin, Who he is asking as well. She is a nice girl, I feel like if I don't ask her she'll be offended, but honestly she hasn't talked to me unless it involved her boyfriends breaking up with her. We're in that awkward friends stage, because we know so many of the same people now. 

So, these being my only considered options, I will only have 3-4 bridesmaids, but I don't want to ask my FI to keep some of his friends and family from standing up with him because I don't have a ton of girlfriends. He was planning on 5. So I have no idea what to do, and if having mismatched parties will be really absurd. I don't mind at all, because they won't really be paired up much, but my mother made a bit of a fuss over it, so I'm asking what others think. 

MobKaz

As a MOB and MOG, I can promise you that uneven sides are absolutely a non issue.  My daughter had uneven sides.  Honestly, if I polled every guest in attendance, they would not be able to tell you the number of attendants on either side.  

Choose who you want to be in your bridal party.  Do not base your bridal party on numbers.

HisGirlFriday13

Your wedding party should be your nearest and dearest -- the people you would call at 3 a.m. to help you hide a body. There is no rule that the number on each side has to be equal. No one will notice, really, and your marriage will still be perfectly valid, I promise.

Tell your mother not to worry about it, let your FI pick the people he wants, you pick the ones you want, and go from there.

Also, since a BM's only duty is to get the dress and show up, having OOS BMs isn't a problem at all. If you pick an easy-to-find dress (or just say to them, 'wear a navy dress that's knee-length or below'), you'll be fine.

McCMal

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Your wedding party should be your nearest and dearest -- the people you would call at 3 a.m. to help you hide a body. There is no rule that the number on each side has to be equal. No one will notice, really, and your marriage will still be perfectly valid, I promise.

Tell your mother not to worry about it, let your FI pick the people he wants, you pick the ones you want, and go from there.

Also, since a BM's only duty is to get the dress and show up, having OOS BMs isn't a problem at all. If you pick an easy-to-find dress (or just say to them, 'wear a navy dress that's knee-length or below'), you'll be fine.

I'm unfamiliar with that acronym. And really that's all I've asked any of my BMs to do. I asked for an odd color though, I'm hoping for light purple to make a comeback come spring. I don't even care if the tones are just a little different, I think it'll be pretty. 

I feel on the fence about asking the one friend. She kind of helped introduce me to my FI, but she rarely talks to me anymore, I feel both that she'll be offended if I don't, and awkward if I do. She'll be there at the wedding, if she doesn't break up with my Future cousin by then...

HisGirlFriday13

OOS -- out of state (also sometimes OOT -- out of town)

BM -- bridesmaids

McCMal

HisGirlFriday13 said:

OOS -- out of state (also sometimes OOT -- out of town)

BM -- bridesmaids

oh, out of town. To be honest I'd probably have trouble asking friends back home too. I can think of two or three to be sure, but I've just never had a ton of girlfriends. I didn't have sisters, only brothers. So I just didn't know how to relate to girls, just a few. The ones I'd like to ask are either out of the country or married and preggers or will have newborns for the ceremony day. 

I really might just stay with the three I'm sure of here in colorado. I love the girls, and I don't want to ask anyone awkwardly. As long as it's not a giant no-no. 

Ven&Radio

Wedding parties do not need to be equal numbers per side, nor separated by gender.

OliveOilsMom

BuckarooChaser said:

I am from out of state, so I have very few girlfriends to ask to be in my wedding party. So far I have my FI's sister as a MOH, his cousin, and a friend of ours, who's FI will be his Groomsman. So that's three. I love them all to death, and am very happy to have them in my wedding party. We're going to be in our friends WP as well. 

I was going to ask my brother's girlfriend, but they have broken up. My FI is asking my brother as well. 

I was also going to ask my friend from my first job here, but she is now currently dating my FI cousin, Who he is asking as well. She is a nice girl, I feel like if I don't ask her she'll be offended, but honestly she hasn't talked to me unless it involved her boyfriends breaking up with her. We're in that awkward friends stage, because we know so many of the same people now. 

So, these being my only considered options, I will only have 3-4 bridesmaids, but I don't want to ask my FI to keep some of his friends and family from standing up with him because I don't have a ton of girlfriends. He was planning on 5. So I have no idea what to do, and if having mismatched parties will be really absurd. I don't mind at all, because they won't really be paired up much, but my mother made a bit of a fuss over it, so I'm asking what others think. 

Uneven sides are fine.  I had 5 BMs and H had 3 GM.  Everything worked out fine.  So ask who you are closest to.  If you had to hide a dead body at 3 am, who would you call?  Those people should be your WP. 

From the sound of things, your co-worker shouldn't be asked.  She also shouldn't be offended that she is not a BM, because you two aren't that close from the sound of things.

AddieCake

We had uneven sides. It's a non-issue.

aurianna

You keep saying you don't have many girlfriends... do you have some guy friends you are really close to? You can always ask them to be bridesmen. If you and your FI haven't officially asked your WP members, your brothers could stand on your side and his sister on his.

Even sides and gender don't matter. All that matters is having your nearest and dearest next to you.

bahamabride2015

My sides are totally uneven!  I only have my sister and best friend and my FI asked 7 guys!  Meh, I don't care.  I'm certainly not going to ask people for the sake of having even sides.   Don't stress.