Zola Website/FB

shaylagirl

Anyone else seen this?

Zola

"A New Kind of Wedding Registry"

All In One Place:
Register for products, experiences, services, honeymoon funds, as well as anything from any store.

Group Gifting:
Now you can register for things you really want, and have friends and family contribute towards a group gift.

I can't even...

I want to go to their Facebook page and let all the brides going apeshit crazy over how wonderful this idea is know how TACKY this idea is.

BLECK!!

Inkdancer

:C This fills me with sadness.

mrs4everhart

Meh. The more I think on these things, the less they bother me. Unless it's a registry that charges fees to the user, I'm not really seeing the big deal anymore. No matter what, at their very essence, all registries say aloud: oh, so you're thinking about getting me/us a gift, well, let me help you - here's a list of the exact stuff we/I'd like. 

As a gift giver, what do I care what the $100 I may spend on a shower gift (I say shower because I personally only give cash for weddings, never a boxed gift) goes toward? Toaster, tent, or couple's massage on their honeymoon, I'm out $100, the couple gets what they want, I get a TY card a week or so later, circle is complete. I don't see the difference between why a blender isn't "offensive" but other items are. I understand traditionally these items were to help the new couple (or the bride specifically, how very 1950's) set up a new household. Fast forward to 2014 the average age of the newly marrying couple is far older then in past generations, most couples have households already established, if not two they're trying to slim down to merge. We should perhaps gut the idea of showers altogether (many a bride is silently thinking, NO, I want my shower!!!) or we can just adjust with the times and change how and what we gift people with. 

PolarBearFitz

STBMrsEverhart said:

Meh. The more I think on these things, the less they bother me. Unless it's a registry that charges fees to the user, I'm not really seeing the big deal anymore. No matter what, at their very essence, all registries say aloud: oh, so you're thinking about getting me/us a gift, well, let me help you - here's a list of the exact stuff we/I'd like. 

As a gift giver, what do I care what the $100 I may spend on a shower gift (I say shower because I personally only give cash for weddings, never a boxed gift) goes toward? Toaster, tent, or couple's massage on their honeymoon, I'm out $100, the couple gets what they want, I get a TY card a week or so later, circle is complete. I don't see the difference between why a blender isn't "offensive" but other items are. I understand traditionally these items were to help the new couple (or the bride specifically, how very 1950's) set up a new household. Fast forward to 2014 the average age of the newly marrying couple is far older then in past generations, most couples have households already established, if not two they're trying to slim down to merge. We should perhaps gut the idea of showers altogether (many a bride is silently thinking, NO, I want my shower!!!) or we can just adjust with the times and change how and what we gift people with. 

Says the person having the PPD...also not everyone is 'far older' with an 'established home.' Some people are still young and combining a life and creating their very first household. It is incredibly more rude to say 'hey donate money to this thing/activity/trip here' than to create a wedding registry.

A registry is a passive suggestion on what items the bride and groom need.  Requesting money for your honey fund is incredibly rude 'Here fund my optional vacation!!!!' It screams gift grabby ridiculousness and is just crappy manners in the realm of gift etiquette. 

I don't care to have a shower at all but they are fun for some and let's face it a tradition for most.

Anyway...

I believe there was a thread on here about Zola and some girl not getting the things that were purchased for her from there. I could be wrong but it sounds incredibly familiar and I am too lazy today to go searching for it. So not only is it tacky but it may actually be somewhat of a scam.

mrs4everhart

PolarBearFitz said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

show previous quotes

Meh. The more I think on these things, the less they bother me. Unless it's a registry that charges fees to the user, I'm not really seeing the big deal anymore. No matter what, at their very essence, all registries say aloud: oh, so you're thinking about getting me/us a gift, well, let me help you - here's a list of the exact stuff we/I'd like. 

As a gift giver, what do I care what the $100 I may spend on a shower gift (I say shower because I personally only give cash for weddings, never a boxed gift) goes toward? Toaster, tent, or couple's massage on their honeymoon, I'm out $100, the couple gets what they want, I get a TY card a week or so later, circle is complete. I don't see the difference between why a blender isn't "offensive" but other items are. I understand traditionally these items were to help the new couple (or the bride specifically, how very 1950's) set up a new household. Fast forward to 2014 the average age of the newly marrying couple is far older then in past generations, most couples have households already established, if not two they're trying to slim down to merge. We should perhaps gut the idea of showers altogether (many a bride is silently thinking, NO, I want my shower!!!) or we can just adjust with the times and change how and what we gift people with. 

Says the person having the PPD Says the person who is not particularly concerned about other people's gifts...also not everyone is 'far older' with an 'established home.' Some people are still young and combining a life and creating their very first household. It is incredibly more rude to say 'hey donate money to this thing/activity/trip here' than to create a wedding registry. So, are you suggesting that only young, unestablished couples should have showers? Fine by me, just want to make sure I have this nonsense correct in case I get the urge to host one for someone in the future. I never said ALL newlyweds are older, I assume you understand averages. I simply don't see what is "incredibly more rude" about stating what one actually wants. It's a suggestion not a court order. If a couple already has all the housewares they could shake a stick at, why shouldn't they register for things they actually want or would use?

A registry is a passive suggestion on what items the bride and groom need.  Who fucking needs a stand mixer?!!!! And who is involved in deciding who NEEDS what? Requesting money for your honey fund is incredibly rude 'Here fund my optional vacation!!!!' It screams gift grabby ridiculousness and is just crappy manners in the realm of gift etiquette.  Right. But a food processor is a true necessity in today's world and should be thought of as a worthy registry item. My bad. 

I don't care to have a shower at all but they are fun for some and let's face it a tradition for most. Tradition, yes. Fun, I wouldn't go that far. This is why I normally just give cash, even for showers. IDGAF what the couple does with the money in truth. Just don't make me play any shower games and we're straight. 

Anyway...

I believe there was a thread on here about Zola and some girl not getting the things that were purchased for her from there. I could be wrong but it sounds incredibly familiar and I am too lazy today to go searching for it. So not only is it tacky but it may actually be somewhat of a scam.

PolarBearFitz

STBMrsEverhart said:

show previous quotes

PolarBearFitz said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Meh. The more I think on these things, the less they bother me. Unless it's a registry that charges fees to the user, I'm not really seeing the big deal anymore. No matter what, at their very essence, all registries say aloud: oh, so you're thinking about getting me/us a gift, well, let me help you - here's a list of the exact stuff we/I'd like. 

As a gift giver, what do I care what the $100 I may spend on a shower gift (I say shower because I personally only give cash for weddings, never a boxed gift) goes toward? Toaster, tent, or couple's massage on their honeymoon, I'm out $100, the couple gets what they want, I get a TY card a week or so later, circle is complete. I don't see the difference between why a blender isn't "offensive" but other items are. I understand traditionally these items were to help the new couple (or the bride specifically, how very 1950's) set up a new household. Fast forward to 2014 the average age of the newly marrying couple is far older then in past generations, most couples have households already established, if not two they're trying to slim down to merge. We should perhaps gut the idea of showers altogether (many a bride is silently thinking, NO, I want my shower!!!) or we can just adjust with the times and change how and what we gift people with. 

Says the person having the PPD Says the person who is not particularly concerned about other people's gifts...also not everyone is 'far older' with an 'established home.' Some people are still young and combining a life and creating their very first household. It is incredibly more rude to say 'hey donate money to this thing/activity/trip here' than to create a wedding registry. So, are you suggesting that only young, unestablished couples should have showers? Fine by me, just want to make sure I have this nonsense correct in case I get the urge to host one for someone in the future. I never said ALL newlyweds are older, I assume you understand averages. I simply don't see what is "incredibly more rude" about stating what one actually wants. It's a suggestion not a court order. If a couple already has all the housewares they could shake a stick at, why shouldn't they register for things they actually want or would use?

A registry is a passive suggestion on what items the bride and groom need.  Who fucking needs a stand mixer?!!!! And who is involved in deciding who NEEDS what? Requesting money for your honey fund is incredibly rude 'Here fund my optional vacation!!!!' It screams gift grabby ridiculousness and is just crappy manners in the realm of gift etiquette.  Right. But a food processor is a true necessity in today's world and should be thought of as a worthy registry item. My bad. 

I don't care to have a shower at all but they are fun for some and let's face it a tradition for most. Tradition, yes. Fun, I wouldn't go that far. This is why I normally just give cash, even for showers. IDGAF what the couple does with the money in truth. Just don't make me play any shower games and we're straight. 

Anyway...

I believe there was a thread on here about Zola and some girl not getting the things that were purchased for her from there. I could be wrong but it sounds incredibly familiar and I am too lazy today to go searching for it. So not only is it tacky but it may actually be somewhat of a scam.

To the first purple bolded nonsense - You are having a PPD and not seeing the tackyness in honey funds etc. is pretty well related to that kind of rudeness. You obviously don't think throwing a second wedding PPD in Mexico is tacky so I had a point with that statement.

Second bolded - Nope, didn't say anything about only young people having showers. I just said not everyone is older and more established as you were stating. You lumped everyone in to one general statement or observation of your own that isn't quite true. I was merely playing the other side of that whole judgement of 'weddings these days' you made.

Third bolded - I said need and I meant it. The bride and groom can decide on whatever they need themselves to create a household. I didn't state anything about standing mixers or food processors. Not sure why you inferred this in what I wrote as there was no mention of either.

Fourth and final - I'm pretty sure you don't give an eff about other people in general but that's just a hunch. In any case I know plenty of people who have fun at showers and enjoy them. Some don't. I even stated that I personally don't care for them. Not sure what you are arguing here.

Still stands that honey funds and asking for straight up money is tacky. If you choose to give money and never buy a gift that's all your choice. If you have a honey fund or ask for cash donations then you're rude.

mrs4everhart

PolarBearFitz said:

show previous quotes

STBMrsEverhart said:

PolarBearFitz said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Meh. The more I think on these things, the less they bother me. Unless it's a registry that charges fees to the user, I'm not really seeing the big deal anymore. No matter what, at their very essence, all registries say aloud: oh, so you're thinking about getting me/us a gift, well, let me help you - here's a list of the exact stuff we/I'd like. 

As a gift giver, what do I care what the $100 I may spend on a shower gift (I say shower because I personally only give cash for weddings, never a boxed gift) goes toward? Toaster, tent, or couple's massage on their honeymoon, I'm out $100, the couple gets what they want, I get a TY card a week or so later, circle is complete. I don't see the difference between why a blender isn't "offensive" but other items are. I understand traditionally these items were to help the new couple (or the bride specifically, how very 1950's) set up a new household. Fast forward to 2014 the average age of the newly marrying couple is far older then in past generations, most couples have households already established, if not two they're trying to slim down to merge. We should perhaps gut the idea of showers altogether (many a bride is silently thinking, NO, I want my shower!!!) or we can just adjust with the times and change how and what we gift people with. 

Says the person having the PPD Says the person who is not particularly concerned about other people's gifts...also not everyone is 'far older' with an 'established home.' Some people are still young and combining a life and creating their very first household. It is incredibly more rude to say 'hey donate money to this thing/activity/trip here' than to create a wedding registry. So, are you suggesting that only young, unestablished couples should have showers? Fine by me, just want to make sure I have this nonsense correct in case I get the urge to host one for someone in the future. I never said ALL newlyweds are older, I assume you understand averages. I simply don't see what is "incredibly more rude" about stating what one actually wants. It's a suggestion not a court order. If a couple already has all the housewares they could shake a stick at, why shouldn't they register for things they actually want or would use?

A registry is a passive suggestion on what items the bride and groom need.  Who fucking needs a stand mixer?!!!! And who is involved in deciding who NEEDS what? Requesting money for your honey fund is incredibly rude 'Here fund my optional vacation!!!!' It screams gift grabby ridiculousness and is just crappy manners in the realm of gift etiquette.  Right. But a food processor is a true necessity in today's world and should be thought of as a worthy registry item. My bad. 

I don't care to have a shower at all but they are fun for some and let's face it a tradition for most. Tradition, yes. Fun, I wouldn't go that far. This is why I normally just give cash, even for showers. IDGAF what the couple does with the money in truth. Just don't make me play any shower games and we're straight. 

Anyway...

I believe there was a thread on here about Zola and some girl not getting the things that were purchased for her from there. I could be wrong but it sounds incredibly familiar and I am too lazy today to go searching for it. So not only is it tacky but it may actually be somewhat of a scam.

To the first purple bolded nonsense - You are having a PPD and not seeing the tackyness in honey funds etc. is pretty well related to that kind of rudeness. You obviously don't think throwing a second wedding PPD in Mexico is tacky so I had a point with that statement. Sorry, I don't see how I chose to get married and how other people chose to register for gifts as related at all. I could see some correlation if I were registering for anything. But I'm not. 

Second bolded - Nope, didn't say anything about only young people having showers. I mentioned the average age of marrying couples being older now. You thought that was a fine opportunity to mention that not ALL newly marrying couples were older. It was a completely unnecessary comment because I never inferred that young, unestablished couples aren't marrying. Only that they aren't as commonplace as they once were as the average ages were now later than they had been in the past. What I DID infer was that registering shouldn't be a one-size-fits-all deal. t just said not everyone is older and more established as you were stating. You lumped everyone in to one general statement or observation of your own that isn't quite true. I was merely playing the other side of that whole judgement of 'weddings these days' you made.

Third bolded - I said need and I meant it. Who decides what is needed? That's what I want to know. Is a panel of woman assembled at the onset of shower planning and they come over and check to see if they can read newsprint through one's bedsheets? I didn't state anything about standing mixers or food processors. Not sure why you inferred this in what I wrote as there was no mention of either.  I used those items as examples of housewares that could be seen as fair game on a "standard, traditional" registry that don't seem absolute necessities. But then again, all sorts of things could be held up for parsing then couldn't they? 

Fourth and final - I'm pretty sure you don't give an eff about other people in general but that's just a hunch. Caring about a person or people and caring about what they register for are vastly different things. In any case I know plenty of people who have fun at showers and enjoy them. Some don't. I even stated that I personally don't care for them. No, you said you didn't want one, but you didn't mention why. n't sure what you are arguing here.

dolewhipper

I need a better stand mixer. I do a lot of work with charities and make baked goods, and my little $30 mixer ain't cuttin' it. But I don't think I'd use Zola-I'll stick with my Kohl's and C&B registries. Its nice to see the item you're registering for. 

When my dad got remarried, my aunt threw my stepmom a lingerie party. Most people don't get a baby shower for their second or third born, so accepting a shower for a second wedding or if you're an older, established couple may not be necessary. My BM recently got married and she declined the "shower" form her MoH but accepted the tea luncheon as her and her hubby already had a fully furnished home. To each their own.

PolarBearFitz

STBMrsEverhart said:

show previous quotes

PolarBearFitz said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

PolarBearFitz said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Meh. The more I think on these things, the less they bother me. Unless it's a registry that charges fees to the user, I'm not really seeing the big deal anymore. No matter what, at their very essence, all registries say aloud: oh, so you're thinking about getting me/us a gift, well, let me help you - here's a list of the exact stuff we/I'd like. 

As a gift giver, what do I care what the $100 I may spend on a shower gift (I say shower because I personally only give cash for weddings, never a boxed gift) goes toward? Toaster, tent, or couple's massage on their honeymoon, I'm out $100, the couple gets what they want, I get a TY card a week or so later, circle is complete. I don't see the difference between why a blender isn't "offensive" but other items are. I understand traditionally these items were to help the new couple (or the bride specifically, how very 1950's) set up a new household. Fast forward to 2014 the average age of the newly marrying couple is far older then in past generations, most couples have households already established, if not two they're trying to slim down to merge. We should perhaps gut the idea of showers altogether (many a bride is silently thinking, NO, I want my shower!!!) or we can just adjust with the times and change how and what we gift people with. 

Says the person having the PPD Says the person who is not particularly concerned about other people's gifts...also not everyone is 'far older' with an 'established home.' Some people are still young and combining a life and creating their very first household. It is incredibly more rude to say 'hey donate money to this thing/activity/trip here' than to create a wedding registry. So, are you suggesting that only young, unestablished couples should have showers? Fine by me, just want to make sure I have this nonsense correct in case I get the urge to host one for someone in the future. I never said ALL newlyweds are older, I assume you understand averages. I simply don't see what is "incredibly more rude" about stating what one actually wants. It's a suggestion not a court order. If a couple already has all the housewares they could shake a stick at, why shouldn't they register for things they actually want or would use?

A registry is a passive suggestion on what items the bride and groom need.  Who fucking needs a stand mixer?!!!! And who is involved in deciding who NEEDS what? Requesting money for your honey fund is incredibly rude 'Here fund my optional vacation!!!!' It screams gift grabby ridiculousness and is just crappy manners in the realm of gift etiquette.  Right. But a food processor is a true necessity in today's world and should be thought of as a worthy registry item. My bad. 

I don't care to have a shower at all but they are fun for some and let's face it a tradition for most. Tradition, yes. Fun, I wouldn't go that far. This is why I normally just give cash, even for showers. IDGAF what the couple does with the money in truth. Just don't make me play any shower games and we're straight. 

Anyway...

I believe there was a thread on here about Zola and some girl not getting the things that were purchased for her from there. I could be wrong but it sounds incredibly familiar and I am too lazy today to go searching for it. So not only is it tacky but it may actually be somewhat of a scam.

To the first purple bolded nonsense - You are having a PPD and not seeing the tackyness in honey funds etc. is pretty well related to that kind of rudeness. You obviously don't think throwing a second wedding PPD in Mexico is tacky so I had a point with that statement. Sorry, I don't see how I chose to get married and how other people chose to register for gifts as related at all. I could see some correlation if I were registering for anything. But I'm not. I think having a PPD and a honey fund are pretty equivalent in how tacky and rude they are. There's your correlation. Whether you are asking for extra second wedding attention or cash donations for a honeymoon they are both etiquette-less.

Second bolded - Nope, didn't say anything about only young people having showers. I mentioned the average age of marrying couples being older now. You thought that was a fine opportunity to mention that not ALL newly marrying couples were older. It was a completely unnecessary comment because I never inferred that young, unestablished couples aren't marrying. Only that they aren't as commonplace as they once were as the average ages were now later than they had been in the past. What I DID infer was that registering shouldn't be a one-size-fits-all deal. Actually you 'inferred' that I said only young people should have showers as demonstrated by what you said. Here let me remind you of your own words ---> So, are you suggesting that only young, unestablished couples should have showers? .  t just said not everyone is older and more established as you were stating. You lumped everyone in to one general statement or observation of your own that isn't quite true. I was merely playing the other side of that whole judgement of 'weddings these days' you made.

Third bolded - I said need and I meant it. Who decides what is needed? That's what I want to know. Is a panel of woman assembled at the onset of shower planning and they come over and check to see if they can read newsprint through one's bedsheets? Pretty sure grown adults can decide what they deem necessary. Guests can determine what they want to buy for them if anything. The end. I didn't state anything about standing mixers or food processors. Not sure why you inferred this in what I wrote as there was no mention of either.  I used those items as examples of housewares that could be seen as fair game on a "standard, traditional" registry that don't seem absolute necessities. But then again, all sorts of things could be held up for parsing then couldn't they? You brought it up in response to what I said when I didn't say anything about those items at all. It was pointless considering you were trying to contest something I didn't even mention.

Fourth and final - I'm pretty sure you don't give an eff about other people in general but that's just a hunch. Caring about a person or people and caring about what they register for are vastly different things. My observation of your lack of caring was in reference to you lying to guests and throwing a PPD. In any case I know plenty of people who have fun at showers and enjoy them. Some don't. I even stated that I personally don't care for them. No, you said you didn't want one, but you didn't mention why. n't sure what you are arguing here. You're right as I stated I don't care to have a shower...the why again is because I don't care for them.

TheGrimReaper

Also I'm pretty sure there IS a fee.  This keeps popping up on my facebook and someone (who I'm sure is a made up profile that this company created) asked about the fee associated.  I can't remember what it was, but the company replied bragging it was the lowest of its kind or some bullshit.

shaylagirl

TheGrimReaper said:

Also I'm pretty sure there IS a fee.  This keeps popping up on my facebook and someone (who I'm sure is a made up profile that this company created) asked about the fee associated.  I can't remember what it was, but the company replied bragging it was the lowest of its kind or some bullshit.

Yeah, I saw that on Facebook too.

Or some idiot bride/person squee'ing "These are the lowest fees I've seen!!"

*gag*

mrs4everhart

PolarBearFitz said:

show previous quotes

STBMrsEverhart said:

PolarBearFitz said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

PolarBearFitz said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Meh. The more I think on these things, the less they bother me. Unless it's a registry that charges fees to the user, I'm not really seeing the big deal anymore. No matter what, at their very essence, all registries say aloud: oh, so you're thinking about getting me/us a gift, well, let me help you - here's a list of the exact stuff we/I'd like. 

As a gift giver, what do I care what the $100 I may spend on a shower gift (I say shower because I personally only give cash for weddings, never a boxed gift) goes toward? Toaster, tent, or couple's massage on their honeymoon, I'm out $100, the couple gets what they want, I get a TY card a week or so later, circle is complete. I don't see the difference between why a blender isn't "offensive" but other items are. I understand traditionally these items were to help the new couple (or the bride specifically, how very 1950's) set up a new household. Fast forward to 2014 the average age of the newly marrying couple is far older then in past generations, most couples have households already established, if not two they're trying to slim down to merge. We should perhaps gut the idea of showers altogether (many a bride is silently thinking, NO, I want my shower!!!) or we can just adjust with the times and change how and what we gift people with. 

Says the person having the PPD Says the person who is not particularly concerned about other people's gifts...also not everyone is 'far older' with an 'established home.' Some people are still young and combining a life and creating their very first household. It is incredibly more rude to say 'hey donate money to this thing/activity/trip here' than to create a wedding registry. So, are you suggesting that only young, unestablished couples should have showers? Fine by me, just want to make sure I have this nonsense correct in case I get the urge to host one for someone in the future. I never said ALL newlyweds are older, I assume you understand averages. I simply don't see what is "incredibly more rude" about stating what one actually wants. It's a suggestion not a court order. If a couple already has all the housewares they could shake a stick at, why shouldn't they register for things they actually want or would use?

A registry is a passive suggestion on what items the bride and groom need.  Who fucking needs a stand mixer?!!!! And who is involved in deciding who NEEDS what? Requesting money for your honey fund is incredibly rude 'Here fund my optional vacation!!!!' It screams gift grabby ridiculousness and is just crappy manners in the realm of gift etiquette.  Right. But a food processor is a true necessity in today's world and should be thought of as a worthy registry item. My bad. 

I don't care to have a shower at all but they are fun for some and let's face it a tradition for most. Tradition, yes. Fun, I wouldn't go that far. This is why I normally just give cash, even for showers. IDGAF what the couple does with the money in truth. Just don't make me play any shower games and we're straight. 

Anyway...

I believe there was a thread on here about Zola and some girl not getting the things that were purchased for her from there. I could be wrong but it sounds incredibly familiar and I am too lazy today to go searching for it. So not only is it tacky but it may actually be somewhat of a scam.

To the first purple bolded nonsense - You are having a PPD and not seeing the tackyness in honey funds etc. is pretty well related to that kind of rudeness. You obviously don't think throwing a second wedding PPD in Mexico is tacky so I had a point with that statement. Sorry, I don't see how I chose to get married and how other people chose to register for gifts as related at all. I could see some correlation if I were registering for anything. But I'm not. I think having a PPD and a honey fund are pretty equivalent in how tacky and rude they are. There's your correlation. Whether you are asking for extra second wedding attention or cash donations for a honeymoon they are both etiquette-less. I don't think anything we're doing is rude, and certainly not tacky in the slightest, so there's that. And what other people register for doesn't bother me either! UNLESS the outfit they use charges a fee to the user. I think if the couple wants to pay the fee that's their business but to charge a fee to the gift-giver is poorly thought out on the part of registering couple. Why, if you're going to be gifted $100 worth of whatever, would you accept $95 instead? That seems counterintuitive on the part of the couple at best and completely unnecessary as there are a million other places/ways to register without paying some company to help procure what you want.

Second bolded - Nope, didn't say anything about only young people having showers. I mentioned the average age of marrying couples being older now. You thought that was a fine opportunity to mention that not ALL newly marrying couples were older. It was a completely unnecessary comment because I never inferred that young, unestablished couples aren't marrying. Only that they aren't as commonplace as they once were as the average ages were now later than they had been in the past. What I DID infer was that registering shouldn't be a one-size-fits-all deal. Actually you 'inferred' that I said only young people should have showers as demonstrated by what you said. Here let me remind you of your own words ---> So, are you suggesting that only young, unestablished couples should have showers? .  Here, I'll make it easy: It would seem all brides (and grooms) are within rights to have showers thrown for them if someone wants to host one for them. Not all brides (and grooms) need, want or desire housewares. At that point, what should they register for instead? If they want camping gear from REI, what should it matter to me as a gift giver? If they'd prefer a spa day to a toaster, it's really not my place to judge them. As long as the site they use doesn't charge me a fee to provide it I'm happy to give a gift that is actually truly wanted by the recipient. t just said not everyone is older and more established as you were stating. You lumped everyone in to one general statement or observation of your own that isn't quite true. I was merely playing the other side of that whole judgement of 'weddings these days' you made.

Third bolded - I said need and I meant it. Who decides what is needed? That's what I want to know. Is a panel of woman assembled at the onset of shower planning and they come over and check to see if they can read newsprint through one's bedsheets? Pretty sure grown adults can decide what they deem necessary. Guests can determine what they want to buy for them if anything. The end. I didn't state anything about standing mixers or food processors. Not sure why you inferred this in what I wrote as there was no mention of either.  I used those items as examples of housewares that could be seen as fair game on a "standard, traditional" registry that don't seem absolute necessities. But then again, all sorts of things could be held up for parsing then couldn't they? You brought it up in response to what I said when I didn't say anything about those items at all. It was pointless considering you were trying to contest something I didn't even mention. Your point was that registries should be for necessities, not items merely desired by the couple. I was just trying to provide example of things commonly found on registries that could certainly get a side-eye in the "need" category. And then I wanted to know who decides what's needed? I feel I NEED a vacation before I lose it on someone. I do not NEED any housewares. (To be clear, I was being flippant with these comments, we are not registering for anything anywhere and are paying for our DW and honeymoon ourselves). 

Fourth and final - I'm pretty sure you don't give an eff about other people in general but that's just a hunch. Caring about a person or people and caring about what they register for are vastly different things. My observation of your lack of caring was in reference to you lying to guests and throwing a PPD. I always get a chuckle when you folks think that bringing up this make-believe PPD notion as some way to make assumptions about everything else I say or do is valid in any way. How we choose to get married really isn't the filter that everything else we view is seen through. Believe it or not, I had opinions about wedding, showers, registries and etiquette long before even meeting my FI. I was in fact, married prior to meeting him. Sort of been there, done that as it were. All the same @PolarBearFitz, you know what they say about assuming, don't you? But really, let's just put your assumptions about me where they belong - in the category with all the other things I could care less about. In any case I know plenty of people who have fun at showers and enjoy them. Some don't. I even stated that I personally don't care for them. No, you said you didn't want one, but you didn't mention why. n't sure what you are arguing here. You're right as I stated I don't care to have a shower...the why again is because I don't care for them.

PolarBearFitz

Lying is pretty rude...throwing a second wedding when you are already married is tacky, rude, and crappy. Even worse when that make-believe second wedding of 'look at me getting married again to someone I'm already married to' is at a destination out of the country.


But yeah sure...that's not tacky in the slightest. Probably should just have someone carry a sign down the aisle stating 'They are already married this is just for show!' Classy.

mrs4everhart

PolarBearFitz said:

Lying is pretty rude...throwing a second wedding when you are already married is tacky, rude, and crappy. Even worse when that make-believe second wedding of 'look at me getting married again to someone I'm already married to' is at a destination out of the country.


But yeah sure...that's not tacky in the slightest. Probably should just have someone carry a sign down the aisle stating 'They are already married this is just for show!' Classy.

Guess it's a good thing you're not invited then isn't it!? Our guests are going to have a blast (many of whom are going to be down there anyway, part of the reason we chose our particular location), we're going to have a blast - it's a big win for everyone. Then, because we just like to party that much - we're going to throw ANOTHER party when we get home! If someone should find that tacky, my suggestion is simple, they don't have to join us!  I've never been one to worry if there's someone talking shit behind my back. I'd rather they get whatever it is off their chest to my face but that's the thing about talking shit behind someone's back - it's cowardly. And frankly, that's just not the type of thing I entertain. I'm much more concerned about having a great time and others doing to same. Life's short, worrying about stupid shit like wedding registries and such seems like such a poor use of energy! 

MobKaz

STBMrsEverhart said:

show previous quotes

PolarBearFitz said:

Lying is pretty rude...throwing a second wedding when you are already married is tacky, rude, and crappy. Even worse when that make-believe second wedding of 'look at me getting married again to someone I'm already married to' is at a destination out of the country.


But yeah sure...that's not tacky in the slightest. Probably should just have someone carry a sign down the aisle stating 'They are already married this is just for show!' Classy.

Guess it's a good thing you're not invited then isn't it!? Our guests are going to have a blast (many of whom are going to be down there anyway, part of the reason we chose our particular location), we're going to have a blast - it's a big win for everyone. Then, because we just like to party that much - we're going to throw ANOTHER party when we get home! If someone should find that tacky, my suggestion is simple, they don't have to join us!  I've never been one to worry if there's someone talking shit behind my back. I'd rather they get whatever it is off their chest to my face but that's the thing about talking shit behind someone's back - it's cowardly. And frankly, that's just not the type of thing I entertain. I'm much more concerned about having a great time and others doing to same. Life's short, worrying about stupid shit like wedding registries and such seems like such a poor use of energy! 

Lying is cowardly.  Fraud is illegal.  What I find curious is you taking wedding insurance out for a non wedding event.  If you were to file a claim, and the company found you to be married months ago, I wonder what consequences would transpire?

shaylagirl

STBMrsEverhart said:

Life's short, worrying about stupid shit like wedding registries and such seems like such a poor use of energy! 

Judgemental much?  WTF?

Some of us actually had fun putting together a wedding registry.  Yeah, I was an older bride (36), and my husband had been married before, but WTF?  If people didn't give us jack shit off our registry, we didn't give a flying flip.  He and I had fun spending time together dreaming about things we knew we wouldn't get, and imagining our "future home".  Oh, and, you know, just being with one another. 

So, thanks for pissing on my leg and telling me that it's raining.  Neither he NOR I viewed our registry as a "poor use of energy".

mrs4everhart

mobkaz said:

show previous quotes

STBMrsEverhart said:

PolarBearFitz said:

Lying is pretty rude...throwing a second wedding when you are already married is tacky, rude, and crappy. Even worse when that make-believe second wedding of 'look at me getting married again to someone I'm already married to' is at a destination out of the country.




But yeah sure...that's not tacky in the slightest. Probably should just have someone carry a sign down the aisle stating 'They are already married this is just for show!' Classy.

Guess it's a good thing you're not invited then isn't it!? Our guests are going to have a blast (many of whom are going to be down there anyway, part of the reason we chose our particular location), we're going to have a blast - it's a big win for everyone. Then, because we just like to party that much - we're going to throw ANOTHER party when we get home! If someone should find that tacky, my suggestion is simple, they don't have to join us!  I've never been one to worry if there's someone talking shit behind my back. I'd rather they get whatever it is off their chest to my face but that's the thing about talking shit behind someone's back - it's cowardly. And frankly, that's just not the type of thing I entertain. I'm much more concerned about having a great time and others doing to same. Life's short, worrying about stupid shit like wedding registries and such seems like such a poor use of energy! 

Lying is cowardly.  Fraud is illegal.  What I find curious is you taking wedding insurance out for a non wedding event.  If you were to file a claim, and the company found you to be married months ago, I wonder what consequences would transpire?


I don't know @mobkaz, we're playing the odds that we will not be making any claim with our wedding insurance company so I'm not too worried about it. I guess I'll cross that hurricane battered bridge when and if, on the minuscule chance we cancel our wedding due to extreme weather and our resort refuses to refund our deposit, then. The odds really are in our favor though.

mrs4everhart

shaylagirl said:

show previous quotes

STBMrsEverhart said:

Life's short, worrying about stupid shit like wedding registries and such seems like such a poor use of energy! 

Judgemental much?  WTF?

Some of us actually had fun putting together a wedding registry.  Yeah, I was an older bride (36), and my husband had been married before, but WTF?  If people didn't give us jack shit off our registry, we didn't give a flying flip.  He and I had fun spending time together dreaming about things we knew we wouldn't get, and imagining our "future home".  Oh, and, you know, just being with one another. 

So, thanks for pissing on my leg and telling me that it's raining.  Neither he NOR I viewed our registry as a "poor use of energy".



@shaylagirl, instead of getting all butthurt, try reading. Concerning oneself over their own registry is a fine use of one's time and energy if that's what they're in to. Worrying oneself over SOMEONE ELSE'S registry is not.

shaylagirl

I did read.

Please point out in your quoted statement (which is why I pulled it to quote it) where you said "someone else's registry".

Oh.  That's right.  Because you didn't.

PolarBearFitz

STBMrsEverhart said:

show previous quotes

PolarBearFitz said:

Lying is pretty rude...throwing a second wedding when you are already married is tacky, rude, and crappy. Even worse when that make-believe second wedding of 'look at me getting married again to someone I'm already married to' is at a destination out of the country.


But yeah sure...that's not tacky in the slightest. Probably should just have someone carry a sign down the aisle stating 'They are already married this is just for show!' Classy.

Guess it's a good thing you're not invited then isn't it!? Our guests are going to have a blast (many of whom are going to be down there anyway, part of the reason we chose our particular location), we're going to have a blast - it's a big win for everyone. Then, because we just like to party that much - we're going to throw ANOTHER party when we get home! If someone should find that tacky, my suggestion is simple, they don't have to join us!  I've never been one to worry if there's someone talking shit behind my back. I'd rather they get whatever it is off their chest to my face but that's the thing about talking shit behind someone's back - it's cowardly. And frankly, that's just not the type of thing I entertain. I'm much more concerned about having a great time and others doing to same. Life's short, worrying about stupid shit like wedding registries and such seems like such a poor use of energy! 

If I were invited (on whatever planet I would be friends with such a rude liar) I wouldn't know you were already married since you aren't telling all of your guests. If I did happen to find out I would drop you like a bad habit for being a crappy friend. You don't lie to your friends/family and you don't throw fake events to fill some AW void you have.

You could just have a party in Mexico celebrating your marriage and invite your close family and friends. You don't have to parade it out as your wedding because you already had one.

You have no right to call anyone cowardly unless you have in fact informed ALL of your guests that you are already married. You are incredibly cowardly for not doing so considering it is the truth. You're also rude and a terrible friend to these people for lying to their faces so you can get attention at your PPD.

I think a poor use of energy is lying to the people you love and throwing a fake event to boost your need for attention.

mrs4everhart

shaylagirl said:

I did read.

Please point out in your quoted statement (which is why I pulled it to quote it) where you said "someone else's registry".

Oh.  That's right.  Because you didn't.

Jesus H. Christ, my ENTIRE point on this post has been about other people's registries! Clearly my opinions weren't in reference to my own - I don't have one! I don't see what the big issue is if people register for things other than housewares so long as the gift giver isn't charged a fee. Past that, I don't see the point in concerning oneself about what others are adding to their presents-they-want-list. 

mrs4everhart

PolarBearFitz said:

show previous quotes

STBMrsEverhart said:

PolarBearFitz said:

Lying is pretty rude...throwing a second wedding when you are already married is tacky, rude, and crappy. Even worse when that make-believe second wedding of 'look at me getting married again to someone I'm already married to' is at a destination out of the country.


But yeah sure...that's not tacky in the slightest. Probably should just have someone carry a sign down the aisle stating 'They are already married this is just for show!' Classy.

Guess it's a good thing you're not invited then isn't it!? Our guests are going to have a blast (many of whom are going to be down there anyway, part of the reason we chose our particular location), we're going to have a blast - it's a big win for everyone. Then, because we just like to party that much - we're going to throw ANOTHER party when we get home! If someone should find that tacky, my suggestion is simple, they don't have to join us!  I've never been one to worry if there's someone talking shit behind my back. I'd rather they get whatever it is off their chest to my face but that's the thing about talking shit behind someone's back - it's cowardly. And frankly, that's just not the type of thing I entertain. I'm much more concerned about having a great time and others doing to same. Life's short, worrying about stupid shit like wedding registries and such seems like such a poor use of energy! 

If I were invited (on whatever planet I would be friends with such a rude liar) There's one thing I think we can both agree on: you and I would NEVER be friends, on any planet. Ever. Every word of yours I've ever read confirms that you and I have nothing in common. And I think we're both ecstatic about that fact. I wouldn't know you were already married since you aren't telling all of your guests. True, so in that case, how would you know you were being "lied" to (your words, we still don't consider any of it a lie)? Oh right, this is supported in your next sentence when your Nancy Drew fantasy is fully realized! If I did happen to find out I would drop you like a bad habit for being a crappy friend. Again, more evidence we're not each other's types. We don't associate with people who drop their friends like "bad habits" when things *may* get sideways or slightly uncomfortable. (Not that I think that would be the outcome anyway.) We prefer less sanctimonious, more open, people. You don't lie to your friends/family and you don't throw fake events to fill some AW void you have. I think this particular sentence is hella funny, if only because I know how much (unwanted) social stimulation my FI and I both get, too many hours each week through our jobs. The thought of doing anything for the sake of "attention" is just a crack up. We are going to Mexico and exchanging vows, rings, etc., etc., for the same reason any other couple has a wedding (versus just signing and being done). The need for attention has never factored in for us.  

You could just have a party in Mexico celebrating your marriage and invite your close family and friends. You don't have to parade it out as your wedding because you already had one. Not as far as we're concerned we haven't. 

You have no right to call anyone cowardly unless you have in fact informed ALL of your guests that you are already married. Simply do not agree for many reasons discussed to death, time and time again. You are incredibly cowardly for not doing so considering it is the truth. Sorry, again, disagree. You're also rude and a terrible friend to these people for lying to their faces so you can get attention at your PPD. One last time: epic disagree. 

I think a poor use of energy is lying to the people you love and throwing a fake event to boost your need for attention. Great, then you'll conserve plenty so you can get up in arms about gift registries instead. Good luck with that!

MobKaz

@STBMrsEverhart said...... We prefer less sanctimonious, more open, people. 

Clearly then, you adhere to the adage, "opposites attract", since you are far from open with people in your life.

@STBMrsEverhart said........ I think this particular sentence is hella funny, if only because I know how much (unwanted) social stimulation my FI and I both get, too many hours each week through our jobs. The thought of doing anything for the sake of "attention" is just a crack up.

The very definition of PPD, beyond LIE, is attention seeking, egocentric festival.  But, that's right.......it's different in your case.

mrs4everhart

mobkaz said:

@STBMrsEverhart said...... We prefer less sanctimonious, more open, people. 

Clearly then, you adhere to the adage, "opposites attract", since you are far from open with people in your life. We're very open with what we find relevant and who we share what with. And for what purpose. We expect the same from our friends, and receive it. 

@STBMrsEverhart said........ I think this particular sentence is hella funny, if only because I know how much (unwanted) social stimulation my FI and I both get, too many hours each week through our jobs. The thought of doing anything for the sake of "attention" is just a crack up.

The very definition of PPD, beyond LIE, is attention seeking, egocentric festival.  But, that's right.......it's different in your case. Uummm, what's your point exactly? Neither of us are quitting our jobs because there's too much spotlight. We just find ways to shrink from it on our personal time. But to seek out additional "attention" just isn't even a thing. If we were looking to stroke our egos, we'd be hosting a giant, local blowout versus a very small DW. 

@mobkaz, I'm always so curious when you rear your ugly head..... You get all flustered and pissy some days and you implore others to not interact with me. Some days you'll go as far as to call me names, which always amuses me. Deep down inside I think you enjoy seeing my screen name pop up. Seriously lady, you just can't quit me. :-)

MobKaz

STBMrsEverhart said:

show previous quotes

mobkaz said:

@STBMrsEverhart said...... We prefer less sanctimonious, more open, people. 

Clearly then, you adhere to the adage, "opposites attract", since you are far from open with people in your life. We're very open with what we find relevant and who we share what with. And for what purpose. We expect the same from our friends, and receive it. 

@STBMrsEverhart said........ I think this particular sentence is hella funny, if only because I know how much (unwanted) social stimulation my FI and I both get, too many hours each week through our jobs. The thought of doing anything for the sake of "attention" is just a crack up.

The very definition of PPD, beyond LIE, is attention seeking, egocentric festival.  But, that's right.......it's different in your case. Uummm, what's your point exactly? Neither of us are quitting our jobs because there's too much spotlight. We just find ways to shrink from it on our personal time. But to seek out additional "attention" just isn't even a thing. If we were looking to stroke our egos, we'd be hosting a giant, local blowout versus a very small DW. 

@mobkaz, I'm always so curious when you rear your ugly head..... You get all flustered and pissy some days and you implore others to not interact with me. Some days you'll go as far as to call me names, which always amuses me. Deep down inside I think you enjoy seeing my screen name pop up. Seriously lady, you just can't quit me. :-)

PolarBearFitz

You are just so full of crap. Any notion that defending how you're lying to people and are open to things at the same time is ridiculous. I'm incredibly open and honest with my friends...note that: HONEST. I don't like liars and don't have time for people who cannot be honest with themselves and everyone else. Closed people (since you are selectively open) lie and deceive because they cannot be open with those around them.

People who hide, connive, and mislead their friends have no place in my friendship world. We wouldn't be friends because I perceive you as a liar. Obviously this is based on one scenario out of many in your life. Hell it may be the only lie you have ever told, I don't know. I am actually a really understanding person with those that I trust. I also give my trust straight out and then if people prove me wrong to trust them then I assess whether the friendship is worth repairing or letting go of.

If someone lied to me and I shelled out money to go to a DW of someone already married, I would personally consider that a friendship ending move on their part. Because if someone doesn't trust me enough to tell me that up front then why should I be a part of their little ceremony anyway?

 I just really have a thing against liars and I perceive you as a liar.   I am probably more judgmental of you because of that perception. Obviously I know little of you considering I just read your notes on a wedding forum so it is what it is.

You may disagree that you haven't gotten married yet but you will have before Mexico and all you're doing is a fake ceremony. It may have huge meaning to you and if it does then that's great. I wish you a happy healthy marriage (no sarcasm here I honestly wish that for anyone committing to a life together). I just still think lying and throwing a PPD sucks.

If you were so open and not concerned about things going 'sideways' then you would tell all your guests you are legally already married. The fact that you do not wish to be open with that information makes it manipulative and deceitful. Manipulative in not telling people so they will in fact show up and deceitful because you aren't telling them the whole truth.

mrs4everhart

mobkaz said:

show previous quotes

STBMrsEverhart said:

mobkaz said:

@STBMrsEverhart said...... We prefer less sanctimonious, more open, people. 

Clearly then, you adhere to the adage, "opposites attract", since you are far from open with people in your life. We're very open with what we find relevant and who we share what with. And for what purpose. We expect the same from our friends, and receive it. 

@STBMrsEverhart said........ I think this particular sentence is hella funny, if only because I know how much (unwanted) social stimulation my FI and I both get, too many hours each week through our jobs. The thought of doing anything for the sake of "attention" is just a crack up.

The very definition of PPD, beyond LIE, is attention seeking, egocentric festival.  But, that's right.......it's different in your case. Uummm, what's your point exactly? Neither of us are quitting our jobs because there's too much spotlight. We just find ways to shrink from it on our personal time. But to seek out additional "attention" just isn't even a thing. If we were looking to stroke our egos, we'd be hosting a giant, local blowout versus a very small DW. 

@mobkaz, I'm always so curious when you rear your ugly head..... You get all flustered and pissy some days and you implore others to not interact with me. Some days you'll go as far as to call me names, which always amuses me. Deep down inside I think you enjoy seeing my screen name pop up. Seriously lady, you just can't quit me. :-)

Wow, didn't see that coming. @Mobkaz with a gif for lack of anything important to say?! No way!  All I can really say to this ^ is smoking's fucking disgusting. Thanks for reminding me just how much I hate it.

mrs4everhart

PolarBearFitz said:

You are just so full of crap. Any notion that defending how you're lying to people and are open to things at the same time is ridiculous. Not sure how many more times I can repeat the fact that we don't see this as lying. So in our minds there's nothing at all at odds with where we're coming from. Every last person out there is welcome to feel differently, that won't change our perception. Every last person out there is welcome to their opinion - that's not going to change ours or interfere with our plans. It will obviously threadjack the shit out of even the most inane posts about online wedding registries apparently though. I'm incredibly open and honest with my friends...note that: HONEST. I don't like liars and don't have time for people who cannot be honest with themselves and everyone else. Closed people (since you are selectively open) lie and deceive because they cannot be open with those around them.

People who hide, connive, and mislead their friends have no place in my friendship world. We wouldn't be friends because I perceive you as a liar. Obviously this is based on one scenario out of many in your life. Hell it may be the only lie you have ever told, I don't know. I am actually a really understanding person with those that I trust. I also give my trust straight out and then if people prove me wrong to trust them then I assess whether the friendship is worth repairing or letting go of.

If someone lied to me and I shelled out money to go to a DW of someone already married, I would personally consider that a friendship ending move on their part. Because if someone doesn't trust me enough to tell me that up front then why should I be a part of their little ceremony anyway? Ok. You're welcome to feel that way. I'm not trying to convince you to feel otherwise. 

 I just really have a thing against liars and I perceive you as a liar. You can perceive me however you'd like. How others perceive me isn't my problem. I think we have more than covered the fact that neither of us would prefer the other's company IRL. I am probably more judgmental of you because of that perception. Obviously I know little of you considering I just read your notes on a wedding forum so it is what it is.

You may disagree that you haven't gotten married yet but you will have before Mexico and all you're doing is a fake ceremony. It may have huge meaning to you and if it does then that's great. I wish you a happy healthy marriage (no sarcasm here I honestly wish that for anyone committing to a life together). I just still think lying and throwing a PPD sucks. Then by all means, get married how you see fit. 

If you were so open and not concerned about things going 'sideways' then you would tell all your guests you are legally already married. No, we would be doing things as we are. Neither of us are "concerned" about anything going sideways. Our decision to only divulge what we have to those we have was based on OUR perception of our relationship status. If the legal particulars aren't something we consider defining within our relationship as it pertains to marriage, we are within our rights to continue on in the fashion we are. Everyone is not entitled to all information all the time. And sure, I'll entertain this "if someone finds out and decides to end a friendship" notion, because who doesn't enjoy a silly hypothetical first thing in the morning? If someone were to "find out" and decide they don't want to be friends any longer, that is their prerogative and their decision. We can live with people making decisions for themselves. What we don't care to live with is forcing anyone else's views of our relationship status on ourselves, because clearly, we don't have to. The fact that you do not wish to be open with that information makes it manipulative and deceitful. Manipulative in not telling people so they will in fact show up and deceitful because you aren't telling them the whole truth.

FWIW, I figured maybe you're not well versed in American slang so I paid good old dictionary.com a visit for you:

Slang Dictionary

hella definition mod.  (a) hell of (a).... (Streets.) :  That's a hella long way to Vegas.

I accept that Merriam Webster has decided to not expand it's references to include slang. Guess that's their prerogative. Not gonna stop me from using one of my favorites though!

shaylagirl

STBMrsEverhart said:

Jesus H. Christ, my ENTIRE point on this post has been about other people's registries! Clearly my opinions weren't in reference to my own - I don't have one! I don't see what the big issue is if people register for things other than housewares so long as the gift giver isn't charged a fee. Past that, I don't see the point in concerning oneself about what others are adding to their presents-they-want-list. 

Did you maybe even GO to that website?

Read the previous posts where women were commenting that THIS particular website charges the lowest fees they've seen?

Sooooo, yeah.  Website.  Fees.  Rude to gift-givers.

Thank you for your reading comprehension fail.

mrs4everhart

shaylagirl said:

show previous quotes

STBMrsEverhart said:

Jesus H. Christ, my ENTIRE point on this post has been about other people's registries! Clearly my opinions weren't in reference to my own - I don't have one! I don't see what the big issue is if people register for things other than housewares so long as the gift giver isn't charged a fee. Past that, I don't see the point in concerning oneself about what others are adding to their presents-they-want-list. 

Did you maybe even GO to that website?

Read the previous posts where women were commenting that THIS particular website charges the lowest fees they've seen?

Sooooo, yeah.  Website.  Fees.  Rude to gift-givers.

Thank you for your reading comprehension fail.

That is not usually the pinnacle of these types of discussions - it's always choc full of bs hating on people's choices. I guarantee if honeymoon (for example) registries were fee-free there'd still be women bitching about them. 

PolarBearFitz

FWIW, I figured maybe you're not well versed in American slang so I paid good old dictionary.com a visit for you:

Slang Dictionary

hella definition mod.  (a) hell of (a).... (Streets.) :  That's a hella long way to Vegas.

I accept that Merriam Webster has decided to not expand it's references to include slang. Guess that's their prerogative. Not gonna stop me from using one of my favorites though!

Slang refers to words that are not real in the realm of proper english. Therefore 'hella' is not a real word but seeing as how you get so confused about what words mean...I figure you're not well versed enough in the definition of a lie:

lie

¹ [lahy] Show IPA

noun

1.

a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood. Synonyms: prevarication, falsification. Antonyms: truth.

2.

something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture: His flashy car was a lie that deceived no one.

3.

an inaccurate or false statement; a falsehood.

4.

the charge or accusation of telling a lie: He flung the lie back at his accusers.

verb (used without object), lied, ly·ing.

5.

to speak falsely or utter untruth knowingly, as with intent to deceive. Synonyms: prevaricate, fib.

6.

to express what is false; convey a false impression.

verb (used with object), lied, ly·ing.

7.

to bring about or affect by lying (often used reflexively): to lie oneself out of a difficulty; accustomed to lying his way out of difficulties.

Idioms

8.

give the lie to,

a.

to accuse of lying; contradict.

b.

to prove or imply the falsity of; belie: His poor work gives the lie to his claims of experience.

9.

lie in one's throat / teeth, to lie grossly or maliciously: If she told you exactly the opposite of what she told me, she must be lying in her teeth. Also, lie through one's teeth.

You are a liar and you are lying to people by omitting the truth of the legal status of your state of marriage.

Here's one for your hypothetical books: If you were asked in a court room if you were married or not you would have to say yes. You couldn't say well we haven't had a ceremony in Mexico yet and I just don't think the papers I signed count. Mexico is not your wedding it is a fake ceremony you are having to indulge the fact that you want one.