Do I send an invitation?

WedMe14

We've sent out our Save the Dates and have had a few couples mention that they would not be able to make it.  Do we send them an invitation anyway?

MobKaz

Yes.  Circumstances can change.

AddieCake

Yes. They are still invited, and sometimes plans change.

Jen4948

Yes.  You never know.  They might still be able to come-but they can't without an invitation.

pumpkinsandturkeys

Absolutely. As PP said, plans change.

antoto

If you google this you will find a million different answers.  I sent invites to people that had said they would not be able to come JUST IN CASE.  I think most people would rather get an invite they have to decline than no invite at all.

phira

Yes. No invitation = "You are not invited/welcome." Since they're still invited/welcome, send the invitation.

devinsberries

I had a few people that said No after recieving the STD that I didn't send an invitation to. However these were people that I knew without a doubt would not have a change of circumstances (live on a different continent etc). Otherwise I sent it. They might want to see your super pretty invitation.

afaber24

What about putting a little handwritten note on a post it in the invite that says "We know that you said you wouldn't be available, but we just wanted you to know that we'll miss you!" 

Would that make the invite seem a little less "gift grabby"?

Inkdancer

afaber24 said:

What about putting a little handwritten note on a post it in the invite that says "We know that you said you wouldn't be available, but we just wanted you to know that we'll miss you!" 

Would that make the invite seem a little less "gift grabby"?

This gets a mixed reaction. Some people say that makes it worse (i.e. note translates to "I know you can't come but I want you to send me a present") and some say it would help.

afaber24

I know, its tough to know how that would be interpreted. What about inviting people who've said they can't come to the wedding to a bridal shower?

I have a friend who is in another wedding on the same weekend as mine. She told me this after the STD's went out. I'm still planning to send her an invitation. Can I put her on the guest list for the shower my aunts are throwing?

ktjanesmom

What if ten people /5 couples tell you they cannot come after receiving a STD?  All of you are telling her she still needs to send them an invitation.  And as I have read on here many times you have to assume 100 % attendance.  So that is 10 people that have already told her they cannot attend and she could have invited other people that may  have had to be cut from the guest list because of venue numbers. Personally I would never tell someone I couldnt attend their wedding unless I was sure. Like I was going to be away on vacation.   I say if someone tells you they cannot attend, cross them off the list and possibly invite someone else.

Viczaesar

ktjanesmom said:

What if ten people /5 couples tell you they cannot come after receiving a STD?  All of you are telling her she still needs to send them an invitation.  And as I have read on here many times you have to assume 100 % attendance.  So that is 10 people that have already told her they cannot attend and she could have invited other people that may  have had to be cut from the guest list because of venue numbers. Personally I would never tell someone I couldnt attend their wedding unless I was sure. Like I was going to be away on vacation.   I say if someone tells you they cannot attend, cross them off the list and possibly invite someone else.

No.  STD = invitation, period.

ktjanesmom

That is your opinion.

AddieCake

How is it opinion? It's the right thing to do. If you send someone a SAVE THE DATE, you send them an invitation. Otherwise, what were they SAVING THE DATE for?

hikebikebemerry

AddieL73 said:

How is it opinion? It's the right thing to do. If you send someone a SAVE THE DATE, you send them an invitation. Otherwise, what were they SAVING THE DATE for?

Free cake the following day?

crunchymamaof2

ktjanesmom said:

That is your opinion.

Um no. What you described is b listing and is insanely rude. That's not an opinion, it's a fact. You can choose to be rude regardless and personally feel it's a-ok but your opinion doesn't change the facts. And another reason why this is bad- std= invite. So you have 5 couples that they they can't make it after receiving their std. You then invite 5 other couples (coughRUDEcough). If those 5 original couples have a change in plans and can now make it, and the b listed couples can also make it, you're now shit out of luck. You'd have to hope to god you haven't reached your venues maximum occupancy and/or you can swing the extra money to make sure all 10 couples are accommodated.