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SIL is getting married, bachelorette party planning woes

My fiancé's sister is getting married in May and her bachelorette party is at the end of March. Her sister (MOH) thinks it's a great idea to "make" her wear a skimpy white halter dress from high school -- which she graduated 7 years ago -- that she probably won't fit it anymore because it's "got good memories (for the MOH.)" Everyone else in the bridal party has told MOH dozens of times that it's a BAD idea, and she's not listening, and going ahead with her plan which is completely different from anyone else's…. how much interference should we be running at this point? Should I just take the bride shopping for an outfit for the party? Am I the only person that thinks this is completely bizarre?

Re: SIL is getting married, bachelorette party planning woes

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    How is MOH going to "make" her wear anything?

    Does the bride know that MOH wants her to wear a white halter dress?  Does the bride know that she is being thrown a bachelorette party?  Pretty sure if I knew that I was getting a bachelorette party I would already have an outfit picked out.

    Honestly, I think this is a fight that the bride has to take on.  She needs to be the one that tells her MOH that she does not want to wear the white dress.  There really isn't anymore that you or the other BMs can do at this point.

    doeydoPrettyGirlLost
  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    There is no chance I would fit into anything from high school.....and even if I did, I wouldn't wear it. I would put a stop to this plan.
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • I texted bride last night and asked her what she was wearing and she said "Honestly, I have no idea, MOH told me not to worry about it, LOL" I think if she knew what MOH was planning she would not be ok with it. She knows we are having a bachelorette party but she doesn't know plans other than we have a hotel room in the city and dinner reservations.

    She has gone up 4 dress sizes since she bought her wedding dress 9 months ago, and is having enough trouble trying to lose weight for that, she needs to lose 25 pounds and since it's a custom dress with a bunch of lace and beading it can't really be altered. I know she is struggling with her body image right now and the last thing anyone wants is an uncomfortable bride stuffed into a skin-tight white halter dress for her bachelorette party.

    Originally MOH wanted us all to dress like flappers for the party and go to jazz and blues clubs, when the bride doesn't even like jazz and seriously, who the hell wants to dress like a flapper to go out in the city for a night? The rest of the party planners have already told MOH we are not dressing up in costume.

    MOH is a bit stubborn and more than a bit impractical when it comes to everything, we don't really get along very well but unfortunately since she's my fiancés other sister I have to play nice with the entire situation. 


  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    charmn311 said:
    I texted bride last night and asked her what she was wearing and she said "Honestly, I have no idea, MOH told me not to worry about it, LOL" I think if she knew what MOH was planning she would not be ok with it. She knows we are having a bachelorette party but she doesn't know plans other than we have a hotel room in the city and dinner reservations.

    She has gone up 4 dress sizes since she bought her wedding dress 9 months ago, and is having enough trouble trying to lose weight for that, she needs to lose 25 pounds and since it's a custom dress with a bunch of lace and beading it can't really be altered. I know she is struggling with her body image right now and the last thing anyone wants is an uncomfortable bride stuffed into a skin-tight white halter dress for her bachelorette party.

    Originally MOH wanted us all to dress like flappers for the party and go to jazz and blues clubs, when the bride doesn't even like jazz and seriously, who the hell wants to dress like a flapper to go out in the city for a night? The rest of the party planners have already told MOH we are not dressing up in costume.

    MOH is a bit stubborn and more than a bit impractical when it comes to everything, we don't really get along very well but unfortunately since she's my fiancés other sister I have to play nice with the entire situation. 


    This was the perfect opening to say "Oh MOH said she wants you to wear that white halter dress you had back in high school."  And then the bride would have been informed and been able to do something about it.

    MairePoppyBlue_BirdPrettyGirlLost
  • Yeah, I guess I'm just going to tell her. Hopefully she shares in everyone else's horror at the idea… and if she doesn't then I guess I just hope she doesn't regret it!
    Blue_Bird
  • Yeah, you need to tell the bride what the MOH has planned, and then you and the other need to have a sit-down come-to-Jesus talk with the MOH about her plans and how this is about the bride, not about the MOH.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    Blue_Bird
  • 1) Does the bride even still own that dress?

    2) Does her sister hate her?  This seriously sounds like an attempt on the part of the MOH to publicly humiliate her sister.  

    3) If the MOH has such fond memories of that dress maybe she should wear it.  
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    Maggie0829KeptInStitchesBlue_Bird
  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    How old is the MOH? I can't fathom this at an adult event.
    image
    Blue_Bird
  • The dress has been sitting in a box of halloween costume stuff for years -- it's a "Marilyn Monroe" white halter dress that probably smells like mildew at this point. MOH is nuts and would fit into the dress even worse than bride.

    I just texted bride and asked if she wants to go shopping because "heads up, your sister wants you to wear that white halter dress from high school." In Chicago. During the coldest winter we've had in years. Yeppppp...
    MairePoppyBlue_Bird
  • LOL --- the MOH is 28….
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What is this MOH thinking?? I'm glad you gave the bride a head's up. 

  • Oy. Bride said she wants to see if it fits. Guess I'm out of my league on this one…. should be a fun night. Please give me the strength to deal with this party :)
    PrettyGirlLost
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    charmn311 said:
    Oy. Bride said she wants to see if it fits. Guess I'm out of my league on this one…. should be a fun night. Please give me the strength to deal with this party :)
    I guess her sister really does know her :)
    image
  • You did the right thing! Now it's up to her!

    My best friend's wedding party was her sisters (2), her cousins (4) and myself. As the only non family member I felt I little left out when they all planned what she would wear to the bachelorette (The MOH was her oldest sister who was not attending the bachelorette due to religious reasons, so the planning was by the rest of us), they they picked out a hot pink, skin tight, tube top dress. Now my best friend is a hippy at heart, with her flowy outfits and such. I was horrified and had to warn her! Thank god I did because she was horrified and had no idea why her family would think this was a good idea.
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    Anniversary
  • You did the right thing! Now it's up to her!

    My best friend's wedding party was her sisters (2), her cousins (4) and myself. As the only non family member I felt I little left out when they all planned what she would wear to the bachelorette (The MOH was her oldest sister who was not attending the bachelorette due to religious reasons, so the planning was by the rest of us), they they picked out a hot pink, skin tight, tube top dress. Now my best friend is a hippy at heart, with her flowy outfits and such. I was horrified and had to warn her! Thank god I did because she was horrified and had no idea why her family would think this was a good idea.


    I don't get this.  I really feel like the bride's attire is outside the scope of planning.  I can see giving suggestions/hints if they are keeping the location a surprise so she will "fit in" and comply with any dress codes but otherwise?
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    doeydo
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