Not Engaged Yet
I need help
I didn't know where else to go so here I am. I trust y'all to give me good advice like you have done with so many others. I'm in a highly emotional state right now where I feel like I'm going to cry at the drop of a hat.
To put it bluntly, I have no motivation or drive. I can't bring myself to do any assignment before the night it's due, even huge projects that would normally take days. No matter what I tell myself or anything, I can't start a project before the night it's due. I would really appreciate any suggestions you have, because I feel like I've tried everything to no avail. I always get them done on time, but mostly by the skin of my teeth.
I also lie about my progress to those important to me (such as BF) so to not disappoint them or make them mad. I lie without realizing it and while I have remorse, I do not tell the truth. I will tell them I have a certain amount of work done even though I have none. This always blows up in my face, but I can't stop.
My lack of motivation is something that has plagued me my whole life, and I need some help. I have no idea what I'm going to do after school. I have no plans or even wishes. All around me, friends are making plans for after graduation, be it law school or grad school or some inkling of a field they'd like to be in. I have none of those. I know, "I'm young and I have time" but I feel like my time is running out way faster than I need it to. Maybe this ties into why I can't do any projects, who knows.
Ugh. This is just so frustrating. Sorry for the vent, and this may not be the best place for it as I'm so much younger than all of y'all, but I really need to figure out a way to fix this problem because it's becoming a major one.
ETA: Looking back on this post, I was super emotional about another thing when I wrote this and this wasn't really the problem, but I still appreciate all advice on the subject.
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