8 Groomsmen & 11 Bridesmaids Too Many??

irishgal391

We are having a wedding of 300-350 guests, is 8 groomsmen and 11 bridesmaid too many? They won't be standing up at the altar at the church because I just want the altar to be my and my future husband. I come from a huge family and so does my fiance, so that is why it is hard to cut the bridal parties down between our family and friends.

Vivandiere8

I really think it's just personal preference. Is it too many to you? Do you see potential problems? Are they the people you really want have and you just can't see not having them all? If not then go for it. It's kind of like posting a picture of a wedding dress you like and asking if it has too much stoning on it, or too much lace. The real question is, is it too much to you? Or do you like it like that?

Also I'm assuming you haven't asked them all yet. If you have I'm sure you wouldn't tell some of them they have to step down even if people said it was too many...

themuffinman16

Keep in mind that's 11 bouquets and 8 boutonnieres, and 19 gifts for the wedding party. That could get pretty expensive. Also the more people you have in your wedding, the more chance there will be issues. But if you are close with all these people and don't mind the extra cost in your budget, party on.

kmmssg

themuffinman16 said:

Keep in mind that's 11 bouquets and 8 boutonnieres, and 19 gifts for the wedding party. That could get pretty expensive. Also the more people you have in your wedding, the more chance there will be issues. But if you are close with all these people and don't mind the extra cost in your budget, party on.

Wedding parties are a line item in your budget. Along with flowers and gifts, that is 38 guests for your RD!  You need to invite them with their SO/FI/Spouse/date.  Who is hosting your RD and are they ok with it being at least 50 or so people?

mlg78

You've been given good advice. I think it's fine as long as you're prepared to pay more for flowers, WP gifts and the RD... I can't personally think of getting that many women to decide on dresses. It sounds like a total headache. I certainly hope you're allowing them to pick their own...

jenniferurs

We have 20 people in our wedding party. 10 groomsmen, 5 bridesmaids, and 5 bridesmen. We didn't do boutonnières for the guys, so we only had to pay for 5 bouquets, which was fine. The rehearsal dinner and bridal party gifts definitely added up though. And it's a little harder to coordinate attire with that many people.

That being said, I wouldn't change my decision for the world. The little extra money/effort it took will be well worth having our best friends up there with us.

climbingsingle

Personally, I think it's way too many. Again, this is just my personal opinion, but I cringe when I see wedding parties that big. 

Viczaesar

shannonfhagan said:

We are having a wedding of 300-350 guests, is 8 groomsmen and 11 bridesmaid too many? They won't be standing up at the altar at the church because I just want the altar to be my and my future husband. I come from a huge family and so does my fiance, so that is why it is hard to cut the bridal parties down between our family and friends.

500 people at your wedding?  I suppose if you can afford to host 500 people properly you can afford the bouquets/boutonnieres, wedding party gifts, and rehearsal dinner for them and their SOs for 19 people.

KeptInStitches

The other thing I want to add is if that is your real name in your screen name, OP, please PM @knotporscha to get it changed. It's just safer to not use it.

abbyj700

Echoing PP here with the # you will then have to get presents, flowers, etc for - and the cost of a rehearsal dinner of that magnitude. Even if you're not paying - you should be considerate of those who are.

Personally - I could never have that many people. Adding people adds the opportunity for stress. Also - we just aren't close with that many people. Like we have tons of friends - but beyond my 4 bridesmaids I wouldn't even know where to start trying to find 11 people I knew I loved enough to have by my side that day. 

And again - this is just me - but 11 bridesmaids could be ALL KINDS of drama...

irishgal391

Viczaesar said:

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shannonfhagan said:

We are having a wedding of 300-350 guests, is 8 groomsmen and 11 bridesmaid too many? They won't be standing up at the altar at the church because I just want the altar to be my and my future husband. I come from a huge family and so does my fiance, so that is why it is hard to cut the bridal parties down between our family and friends.

500 people at your wedding?  I suppose if you can afford to host 500 people properly you can afford the bouquets/boutonnieres, wedding party gifts, and rehearsal dinner for them and their SOs for 19 people.


I'm not sure where you got 500 people from, the 300-350 is including the bridal party and their significant others/dates. For us, my fiances uncle owns a flower company and offered to do all our flowers for us at little to no cost, which he does for all the weddings in my fiances family. So I'm really looking at the WP gifts and the rehearsal dinner which I'm paying for and have allotted for. We are not having other people pay for our wedding nor are we independently wealthy, this day is just really important to us and we have worked hard to save money to account for a lot of people on the big day! I haven't even asked anyone to be in the party yet, this is just something we're thinking about and I appreciate all the input! You all make really good points!

irishgal391

Oh PS I did contact @knotporsha and I am changing my username! Thank you to everyone who brought that up to me!

thisismynickname2

I think I'll bring up one more thing. Are all the members of the bridal party family? Or is a mix of family and friends? Whenever I see a big wedding party I always wonder how people can have so many "close" relationships.  Maybe I'm just not that social, lol.  To me, if you're going to be in my bridal party, we have to have a long-term, unshakable bond and I have to know what's going on in your life on a frequent and regular basis.

As others have said, the wedding party is ideally comprised of people that would help you move a dead body. Something to consider. 

jenniferurs

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Personally, I think it's way too many. Again, this is just my personal opinion, but I cringe when I see wedding parties that big. 

I can understand not wanting a bridal party that big yourself, but I don't understand why someone else doing so would make you cringe.

Viczaesar

irishgal391 said:

show previous quotes

shannonfhagan said:

We are having a wedding of 300-350 guests, is 8 groomsmen and 11 bridesmaid too many? They won't be standing up at the altar at the church because I just want the altar to be my and my future husband. I come from a huge family and so does my fiance, so that is why it is hard to cut the bridal parties down between our family and friends.

500 people at your wedding?  I suppose if you can afford to host 500 people properly you can afford the bouquets/boutonnieres, wedding party gifts, and rehearsal dinner for them and their SOs for 19 people.

I'm not sure where you got 500 people from, the 300-350 is including the bridal party and their significant others/dates. For us, my fiances uncle owns a flower company and offered to do all our flowers for us at little to no cost, which he does for all the weddings in my fiances family. So I'm really looking at the WP gifts and the rehearsal dinner which I'm paying for and have allotted for. We are not having other people pay for our wedding nor are we independently wealthy, this day is just really important to us and we have worked hard to save money to account for a lot of people on the big day! I haven't even asked anyone to be in the party yet, this is just something we're thinking about and I appreciate all the input! You all make really good points!

Sorry @irishgal391, I totally misread that as 300-500.  I hadn't gone to bed yet and I guess I was starting to see things!  It sounds like you have a good handle on the costs that come with wedding parties. 

irishgal391

Viczaesar said:

show previous quotes

irishgal391 said:

shannonfhagan said:

We are having a wedding of 300-350 guests, is 8 groomsmen and 11 bridesmaid too many? They won't be standing up at the altar at the church because I just want the altar to be my and my future husband. I come from a huge family and so does my fiance, so that is why it is hard to cut the bridal parties down between our family and friends.

500 people at your wedding?  I suppose if you can afford to host 500 people properly you can afford the bouquets/boutonnieres, wedding party gifts, and rehearsal dinner for them and their SOs for 19 people.

I'm not sure where you got 500 people from, the 300-350 is including the bridal party and their significant others/dates. For us, my fiances uncle owns a flower company and offered to do all our flowers for us at little to no cost, which he does for all the weddings in my fiances family. So I'm really looking at the WP gifts and the rehearsal dinner which I'm paying for and have allotted for. We are not having other people pay for our wedding nor are we independently wealthy, this day is just really important to us and we have worked hard to save money to account for a lot of people on the big day! I haven't even asked anyone to be in the party yet, this is just something we're thinking about and I appreciate all the input! You all make really good points!

Sorry @irishgal391, I totally misread that as 300-500.  I hadn't gone to bed yet and I guess I was starting to see things!  It sounds like you have a good handle on the costs that come with wedding parties. 

Haha no worries! We decided to cut it down to 10 girls and he'll have 8 men, I couldn't even imagine having 500 people at a wedding! lol

[Deleted User]

I would consider having a day of coordinator with a wedding party that large. You may not need a DOC to check in on the vendors, but more to keep an eye on your bridal party if you decide to go that large. Do you want to have to worry about rounding everyone up & having to be sturn to people to get their jackets on, grab your flowers & get in place? With a group that large, there may be some yelling involved to get people in place for photos. Ok,maybe not yelling but loud talking depending on how loud everyone else is. If you are stuck doing that then you will look like a control freak bridezilla. Pay someone else to do all the work and get the eye rolls from your bridal party when she makes sure they are doing what they need to do. This way you can relax on your day.

Belle2188

I have 10 bridesmaids and FH has 8 groomsmen.  When I first got engaged I was so stressed because I wanted all 10 girls (both friends and family) but thought it would be seen as too many.  Then I thought about it and realized that this is one particular instance where you really can say "it's my day" (something I normally can't stand).  If you really want 11 girls by your side on your wedding day, then that's how many you should have.  It's not going to impact the way your guests are hosted, and the people that have something to say about that are likely the people that would have found something to complain about regardless.

Whether or not it's a pain really depends on the group of girls.  Someone mentioned having a hard time picking dresses.  I sent my girls a picture of a dress as an option, and they all immediately agreed to it and asked when they should order it.  I was the one that had to say "hey wait a minute...I want your genuine feedback, let's go try it on!"  Easy peasy

lc07

Don't forget with a group this large if you are planning for everyone to get ready together you'd need a HUGE bridal suite or a conference room at the hotel (if you're getting married at a hotel) it's also appropriate to host breakfast and lunch if your bridesmaids are required to be with you getting ready during those times. Also take into account that if you are doing hair and makeup you will need a large team of stylists so that it doesn't take 40 hours to get through all the hair and makeup.

To me, that sounds like a crazy hectic morning of getting ready. I personally wanted something low key.

metsfan5

It doesnt matter how many your have as long as you are happy!! I had 7 bridesmaids and for me there was a little drama with my husband family and mine but when the wedding day came everyone put everything aside and was there for us!! Good luck in everything!!