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Wedding Woes

Out of town family

Has anyone ever had out of town family stay with them the week prior AND the day after their wedding?  When my FI's sister and her family made her travel arrangements, she assumed they would be staying with us.  I'm stressed enough as is, I don't want to add entertaining guests in my house to the stress level.  And to ask to stay the day after?!  I've never heard of anyone even thinking of that.

Re: Out of town family

  • Has anyone ever had out of town family stay with them the week prior AND the day after their wedding?  When my FI's sister and her family made her travel arrangements, she assumed they would be staying with us.  I'm stressed enough as is, I don't want to add entertaining guests in my house to the stress level.  And to ask to stay the day after?!  I've never heard of anyone even thinking of that.
    Uhm, no, and that's incredibly presumptuous of her. BUT, since this is your FSIL, I suggest you let your FI handle it, rather than you handling it. He should say to her, "Sis, I'm sorry there was confusion, but our house is not available for you to stay at leading up to or after our wedding.'

    If she asks why not, he should say, 'I'm sorry, but it's just not. It's not convenient for us.'

    He needs to repeat that until she either understands that or lets the subject go.

    Be prepared, though for her to say to him, 'Then we can't come because we can't afford it,' and you two will have to figure out how to deal with that.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    lmurbanskidoeydo
  • We did have 2 friends stay at our house during everything.  I also didn't even have to explain to them that they wouldn't be "entertained" at all.  I handed them a key and went about my business.  They took care of themselves and never bothered me.
    lmurbanski
  • Thank you for the advice to let my FI handle it.  I don't want to cause problems, but I also know that I'm easily stressed.  I'd rather him be the bad guy in this situation.
  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    My best friend/man of honor stayed in one of our extra bedrooms for a week during our wedding stuff. We also had friends over constantly from wedding morning through like the Tuesday following. It was actually kinda better for me having them there because I don't get to see many of my friends, as they're across the country, and I felt like I got to spend a lot more time with them because they were over so regularly.

  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    My uncle, also our pastor, and his family are staying with my parents for the week leading up to our wedding (Christmas!).  Also my MOH and her boyfriend will be staying with us for a week.  I think one of my out of town friends will also be there, but we have to see if he is okay with the futon.  

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  • You all have given me things to think about.  I'm trying to think of it on a positive note, I'll have someone to help me with last minute details.  I'm still upset over them asking to stay with us the day after the wedding, but the FI said, we'll just leave and go spend the night in a nice place locally.  We are not having a honeymoon because the FI just got laid off and we need to cut down some expenses wherever we can.  So, I guess now thanks to the FSIL I'll actually have a one day honeymoon!  Making lemonade out of the lemons I was handed.
    [Deleted User]
  • Depends on your situation...if i lived in a house with multiple guest rooms, i would absolutely hand over spare keys and let people stay with us over the wedding week.  But I don't.  FI and I live in a 1000 square foot, one bedroom, one bathroom condo in a city high rise.  We have a sofa bed for guests that occassionally gets used, but that's it.  FI's cousin (a GM) called him a few weeks ago to tell him he wanted to come down a week early and just stay with us.  FI said no way.  First of all, FI will be working until the day before the wedding, so i have no idea what his cousin was expecting to do all day, and second of all we will not want a houseguest in our tiny house for all that time.  third of all, the last time this specific person stayed with us, he spent the whole weekend making enormous messes that we (FI, because i refused to deal with it) had to clean up.  So that was not happening.

     

    My mother is staying in the condo the night of the wedding though.  FI and i are staying at the hotel (3 blocks away) that night and someone needs to care for our cats.

  • I love you new view on the situation. 
  • They want to stay at your house the whole week of your wedding and on your wedding night? Hell no. You know their asses are going to be hogging the bathrooms when you're trying to get ready for the wedding on the day of.
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    doeydo
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