Tipping Vendors

2leadsingers

What is the etiquette on this? Which vendors do/did you tip and how much? I don't want to leave it out of my budgeting and be surprised later and blow the budget. 

Maggie0829

Bartenders

Hair/MUA

DJ

Photographer

Florist and Baker (if you wish, but not always necessary)

Limo driver (if you are having one)

Honestly, you could tip everyone if you wanted to.  I would just read over your contracts, especially your catering one, to see if tip has already been included in your total price.

As for how much to tip, well that depends on the work they provided and how generous you feel. Tipping is not required so any size tip should be taken with appreciation.  Remember that you are already paying your vendors for their service so a any tip on top of that is just icing on the cake, so to speak.

s-aries8990

In addition to what Maggie said, many people will tell you not to tip business-owners at all. ie your photographer runs his own business, therefore you shouldn't tip.

That is utter bull-doody.

A tip or GRATUITY is to show GRATITUDE for a service rendered. If you hairstylist did a shitty job, don't tip him/her, but if he/she goes above and beyond what you expected, feel free to tip anywhere from 5-30% + depending on how you feel.

I also suggest budgeting for a good-enough tip for an awesome job and then giving the tip when the service is completely done. Like you photographer(s)? don't tip him/her/them until after you receive your final photos. Your florist? don't tip until after they deliver or after the wedding (to see if they hold up). Your hair stylist? Tip after your hair is done or after the wedding (to see if it comes out).

2leadsingers

Thanks ladies. I was a little taken aback a few weeks ago. I am a KJ on the side for a small company. My boss took me along on a wedding that booked with us because of me, and stated afterwards that he was surprised they didn't tip. As a KJ I do receive tips occasionally but never from the bar who hired me, usually from the customers, it is rare, and though I have a decent following, it is always a welcome surprise. I figured I better budget it in though, since what we are working with monetarily is small and I would hate to blow it on something I should have thought about in advance. 

BrandNewJ

What's a KJ?

KittyKaty20

Karaoke Jockey!

2leadsingers

Yup. Karaoke is my claim to fame lol. Its fun, make a little money, meet a lot of really awesome people, a few that aren't.  At least I can say I am always entertained at work lol. 

mellyD2014

I know our tip for the servers and maitr'd are built into our price at the venue. I had always heard hair/makeup, limo (those that is built in for us as well), and that was about it.

I have also heard from a variety of sources that same thing about not tipping people who own their own business. I have to say we'll be following that with our photographer. His prices are absolutely nuts and he was our "splurge", but as he is an avid hockey fan we do plan to get him a few gifts from his favorite team as a thank you.

dianaloveserik

Sorry to resurrect the thread but I had some quick follow up questions about the not tipping people who have their own business thing:

My DJ is the owner of his company, but he employs a number of other DJs. We managed to get the owner himself for our wedding because we booked early enough, but the price would have been the same regardless of whether we got him or one of his employee DJs. Should he get a tip? Should the photobooth people (we're getting the photobooth through the DJ) be tipped as well, and if so, would that be separate from the DJ or together?

Similarly, my photographer owns his own company but he has independent contractors who do the videography. How do I handle that? Give one tip for both of them to share? Tip only the videographer because the photographer is the owner?

Thanks everyone!

AroundTheBlock

Your DJ is automatically at an advantage in that he gets all the profit from your wedding without having to pay someone else -- that is, he gets the wage his staff would normally earn, plus the profit that he normally gets.

Properly, tips are given to individuals who provide you with a personal service, so with the photobooth people, tip them separately. Similarly with the independent contractors doing the videography: tip them, but not the photographer.

As an American accustomed to tipping at restaurants where (immoral!) exceptions to minimum-wage laws make tipping the difference between whether wait-staff get a living wage or not, it is natural that you think of tips in terms of "fair pay for equal work". But that is not really the role that tips play in the world of etiquette; and if you think about it, the fairness of the tipping system is really up for question.

If you were to tender a "request for proposals" from photography firms, and three of them came it at $1000 and one -- with an equally good portfolio -- came in at $900, you would probably choose the $900 proposal. And if he then told you "now, the normal tip for the services we provide is 20%" -- or even wrote that into his contract as an additional "service fee"  -- and it turns out that the other three bids were fair bids without hidden additional costs, then it would be clear that the winning proposal had underbid the competition with the intent to recover the bid difference -- and more -- through this additional hidden fee. The tipping system gets in the way of allowing market forces to operate so that service providers can compete honestly. That is one reason not to tip owners. But even that does not explain why etiquette requires the tipping of non-owners.

The reason is this: you can accept personal favours from close friends that you would not accept from strangers. You can also accept personal attention from hirelings that you would not accept from strangers. Example? you would let your sister or best friend brush you hair, and you would let your hairdresser brush your hair, but you would not let a stranger at the bus-stop brush your hair. Right? Your relationship with your hairdresser -- assuming he is a sole proprietor who operates his own business -- is clear because you hand him money: he is your direct hireling. But if you attend a large salon, you pay money to the salon, not to the person who is actually handling your hair, so your relationship with that person is obscured. He is not your direct hireling OR a close friend, but he is providing a very personal service. So you give him money to create a sense of the contractor-client relationship and the social distance that goes with that relationship.

So, to sum up: you do not tip the DJ or the photographer, because as business owners it is there job to set the price for services such that they are competing fairly in the marketplace. You have the option of paying a bonus -- not a "tip" per se -- for excellent service if you feel a bonus is warranted. You do tip the photobooth people and the videographer, regardless of how well they are paid, because they are providing a personal service for you and you want to reinforce that the service is accepted on a business basis with no expectation that they are to be considered "friends".

dianaloveserik

That was exactly what I needed to know ... explains everything clearly and now I understand what to do and why. Thanks so much!!