I know this has been discussed many times in many different ways but I could use some more personal advice so here goes:
My fiance and I are at an impasse about a registry. For some background we are both in our mid-late 30s, we live in NYC, and we've lived together for a couple years. We are both really into cooking and entertaining and have been on our own for awhile so we have a well stocked kitchen already. We are trying to save up to buy our own apartment in the next couple years but for now we are renters.
He doesn't want to register at all except to ask for money to help us with a down payment, and I think it is rude to ask outright for money. His family has more money than mine, and he doesn't see any issue with asking. I think that people who want to or can give money already know we'd like it, but for our friends and family who can't give a lot I'd rather have a salad bowl we chose or a painting they made, or to just not get a gift but also not offend them than a small check.
I finally got him to concede that we could have a small registry but he wants to keep it under 10 items and we are inviting almost 200 people, and he wants to have a link to a paypal or something like that on it!
I really just want our wedding to be a fun party and I don't want to offend anyone and I don't want to seem like we are money grubbers. I think this is partly a cultural issue for us and he just doesn't understand my point of view, and we're having a real hard time compromising on this. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks!