Changing name to a Russian last name - gender specific endings?

[Deleted User]

I'm American and my fiancé is Russian, but we live (and he has spent 15+ years) in the US and is a citizen. His last name ends in a "v," and if we were in Russia, once we marry, I would then have the feminine version of his last name which would be "va." 

I'm excited to change my name, but I don't know what exactly I should change it to! I'm not sure if I should keep the "v" because we live in the US (and English doesn't have gender specific endings for names), or to add the "a" to keep with the Russian custom. 

My fiancé said he doesn't care either way, but I am genuinely curious if anyone else has made a similar decision and what the etiquette might be  

mysticl

You need to check the law in your state.  The marriage license gives limited leeway to changing your name so your only choice may be to change it to his exact last name.  

[Deleted User]

Oh, I had not considered that. Will have to find out about New York

HisGirlFriday13

I ditto PP about checking with your state. 

From an ease-of-use perspective, I'd change to exactly what your FI's name is -- it will be less confusing for official bureaucrats and schools and whatever else.

ei34

I'm from NYC and know lots of Russian families where the husband/sons last name ends with -ov and the wife/daughters ends -ova. So I'm assuming it's legal in ny, but @mysticl gave you great advice to double check. As long as it's legal, I'd do whatever felt right if I was you- do you want to be traditional and have a feminine name, or match your new husband's? That's your call. Good luck!

[Deleted User]

Thanks all! 

MairePoppy

My husband's last name is Ukrainian and was shortened and Americanized when his grandparents came over. I feel like he lost a piece of his family history. If it's legal, I would go with the traditional Russian feminine version of the last name. Of course, it's your name, so you should do whatever feels comfortable for you. 

kkitkat79

The addition of a to last name indicates possession. For example if husband's last name is "serov" then wife's last name is "serova" meaning "belongs to serov". I don't know if such things matter to you, but that's the meaning behind the addition of a. I personally would go with the Americanized version and use the name as is without the addition. P.S. Russian is my mother-tongue.

Cookie Pusher

My sister opted to change her name and took the feminine version. She hasn't had any difficulties so far.

[Deleted User]

Thank you everyone for the responses! I'm really glad to hear each opinion and the reasons behind them all. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do, but our wedding is not until September, so I have some more time to think on it! We're getting married in Mexico with a civil ceremony, so the legalities with the Mexican govt might make my decision for me, but that's something we'll ask the judge presiding over the ceremony. I guess we'll find out then! 

abbyj700

I'm with kkitkat on this one. Having studied Russian for a bit in my past the first thing I thought was "the ova indicates possession and well, no thanks." But that is just a personal preference for me.