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FMIL just tried to talk me into a cash bar... *mini-vent with GIFs*

KytchynWitcheKytchynWitche Ridin' the Zebra member
500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
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I took her out to lunch at the café/bakery side of our venue (we're getting married in the restaurant section). While we were there, I took the opportunity to gently remind the owner that I'm waiting for the venue hire and catering quote from her - they have been INSANELY busy the last few weeks, because it's the tail-end of the high-season, loads of tourists wanting to get in one last hike/bike before summer's over etc - so I'm not too fussed that it's taken a while for her to respond. They've only just starting to get into weddings, so they don't quite have a standard pricing plan or anything. They need to actually sit down and cost things out and work out their figures and all of that. The first wedding they did, late last year, they actually ended up running at a loss because they just thumbsucked a figure. I don't want them to do that with me because I want the restaurant to still be around when FI and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary!

Anyway, in the car on the way back home, I told FMIL about my conversation with the owner (FMIL went outside to smoke while I was paying the bill and chatting with her), and I said to her that I'm happy to cut back on décor, on attire, on pretty much anything else, but you really can't have a wedding without food (at least, not in my family). Then I said I'd even be happy to have a dry wedding if that would bring the wedding in at (or around) budget. At which point she said "cash bar is fine!"

Nope Girl

If I had been driving instead of her, neither of us would be here right now because I would have ploughed straight into the back of the truck in front of us.

So I very politely explained to her that with the vast majority of our guests coming from out of town, out of province, and out of country, expending large amounts of cash to get to the wedding, it's totally unacceptable to expect them to host themselves once they're here. At which point she quietly said "Oh, I guess I see your point." Too right. I mean seriously, my wedding ain't no BYOB back-yard barbecue!
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Also at lunch, she tried to pressure me into agreeing to go to FI's cousin's wedding (the "black tie", no kids allowed, cash bar, cash gifts requested one) because she feels bad that they aren't going either so no one will be there to "represent the family". I'm sorry, are we in the mafia now? Or did this wedding become a UN summit when I wasn't looking?
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When I laid out the finances for her, showed her exactly what it would cost for us to attend, and told her that I'm not even sure I'll be attending my sister's wedding for the exact same reason, she relented. But really, I shouldn't have to give detailed reasons for not attending a wedding. An invitation does not equal a summons. It would cost us about two-thirds of my last paycheck to travel there and back, rent formalwear, give a gift, buy our own damn drinks, and have a roof over our heads for the night. And of course, I'm not earning that salary anymore. FI is desperately trying to save up enough to get our car fixed and pay for our honeymoon. I'm trying to pay for our wedding. It is just not financially sound for us to attend the cousin's wedding.

Then she started in on how she didn't want to have to tell cousin that we're (that's all of us, not just me and FI) not coming. I said "Fine, if there's an email address, I'll do it, but I'm not calling some person I've never met to tell him I'm not coming to his wedding." Seriously, I'm awkward enough on the phone calling my own family... Frankly, I think FFIL should be the one responding on our behalf though, seeing as it's his family, but whatevs. whatever

There was much rolling of eyes at this lunch outing of ours.

Anyway, while I was paying for lunch and chatting with the owner, I picked up a flier for a new clothing shop here in the village. Apparently a fashion designer from the city has decided to move here and, aside from running the shop, will also be doing custom dresses for weddings, proms etc So I took a flier and looked her up when I got home, thinking that maybe if she can do my dress at a price comparable to my friend in the city, I can get it done here instead of having to travel back and forth for fittings. Nope, she's been featured in Elle and a whole bunch of other fashion mags, and more than once, so I'm guessing her prices are going to be ridic. Not even gonna ask. I still wanna go to the shop though, just to see what they have.

sad

BUT, after all this... it's still Friday!

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Okay, I'm done GIF-overloading! Sorry some of them seem to have weird spacing issues...
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Re: FMIL just tried to talk me into a cash bar... *mini-vent with GIFs*

  • Emmy1493Emmy1493 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    Oh wow! So glad FMIL went with your idea on the no CB thing. and with FI cousin's wedding. That sounds like a nightmare! And I love the GIFS! It's Friday, after all!!!

    :)

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    Cokezerofreak
  • I must admit, I came for the GIFs and was NOT disappointed.
    Well done!
    KytchynWitchesacdtjberinlin25
  • KytchynWitcheKytchynWitche Ridin' the Zebra member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Glad to have been of service! ;P
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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 The Concrete Jungle member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Love the GIF's lol. FMIL is shocked we are not having a cash bar smh.

    I'm sorry, are we in the mafia now? Or did this wedding become a UN summit when I wasn't looking? That part made me  crack up, lol
                                 Anniversary
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    KytchynWitche
  • pinkcow13 said:
    Love the GIF's lol. FMIL is shocked we are not having a cash bar smh.

    I'm sorry, are we in the mafia now? Or did this wedding become a UN summit when I wasn't looking? That part made me  crack up, lol
    I actually came here just to look at gifs... now I must read the whole thing because of the bolded statement!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    KytchynWitche
  • KytchynWitcheKytchynWitche Ridin' the Zebra member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    pinkcow13 said:
    Love the GIF's lol. FMIL is shocked we are not having a cash bar smh.

    I'm sorry, are we in the mafia now? Or did this wedding become a UN summit when I wasn't looking? That part made me  crack up, lol
    I was hoping someone would appreciate that! Well, I'm a writer, so I'm always hoping that someone will appreciate my words, but I was particularly proud of that part.
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    pumpkinsandturkeysjessiray
  • I'm glad you talked your FMIL out of that idea, and I'm with the others, the gifs did not disappoint.

    I love when a long gif filled post get's going.
    KytchynWitche
  • KytchynWitcheKytchynWitche Ridin' the Zebra member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    It wasn't so much having to talk her out of it as it was just standing firm and not letting myself be talked round by her. I'm paying, she's not, so at the end of the day it's my call and I would NEVER tacky up my wedding by having a cash bar. Not even if my guest list was 20 times what it is.

    oh hell to the no

    omg


    But this thing with FI's cousin's wedding is just going round and round and round. FMIL is saying she needs to talk to FFIL about trying to go, because cousin is apparently laying a guilt trip on her and just ugh. Decide what's happening so I can send our response!

    Beverly Hills, 90210 sigh

    Oh Of Course

    Le Sigh


    I can't wait for the shit-storm that's gonna happen when cousin and his FI realise they're not invited to our wedding...

    yes! fight! fight!

    Judging You



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