The story goes like this:
My cousin is a bridesmaid in our wedding. Her parents are divorced, and her father is my mother's brother, thus a biological member of our family. He is remarried and has been for about 10 years now. When originally coming up with the guest list, I had included both the BM's father/stepmother and her biological mother. I am not very close to her mother, but I do still consider her an aunt, am friends with her on FB, and am on friendly terms with her. I felt like she deserved an invitation and would appreciate receiving one (i.e. would be offended to NOT get one). To be honest, I didn't think she would make the effort to come, as she lives about 8 hours from the wedding location, but I still wanted her to receive an invitation.
All was well until just a few days ago, when my mom informs me that her brother and his wife have stated that they "aren't sure they can come" if the mother comes to the wedding. I was copied on this long, dramatic email from my step-aunt, saying that she shouldn't be forced to be uncomfortable, and that they would be at the ceremony, but not the reception. Personally, I was offended b/c it seems really petty and dumb to not be able to sit in the same room with someone for 2-3 hours. According to them, the mother would come to the wedding JUST TO SPITE THEM and then "hog" her daughters all night.
Now, my problem is that my mom agrees with them and wants to leave the mother off the invite list now. Personally, I think it's absolutely ridiculous that I was brought into their divorce/family drama and honestly, it makes me want to leave things the way they are and just tell my uncle/step-aunt to go screw themselves. However, my parents are paying for the entire wedding, so apparently I don't get much of a say.
What would you do in this situation, and how would you feel? I know lots of people have to deal with divorced parent situations, but this is just weird and unneccessary. I will probably end up having to leave her off the list, and I'm not sure how hard I should fight considering I'm not that close to her. However, I feel peeved that I'm being forced/manipulated into changing my guest list. I also don't want to hurt my BM's feelings, considering that is her mother. I'm also wondering what my uncle/step-aunt are going to do when my cousin and her sister get married...