My priest is married, how do I address the envelope to this couple?

KittyKaty20

My FIs uncle is a married Catholic Priest, and he and his wife are travelling from Maine; he'll be officiating our ceremony.

How in the world do I address this invitation? Also...paging @CMGragain

HisGirlFriday13

Fr. Robert and Mrs. Susan Smith.

That's how you address married Episcopalian ministers, so I assume it would hold true for married Catholic priests.

You can also do:

The Rev. Fr. Robert and Mrs. Susan Smith.

KittyKaty20

Thank you, HGF!

Inkdancer

@HisGirlFriday13 You should win some kind of award for being such an awesome source of insight on these boards.

HisGirlFriday13

Awww, thanks! That made my Monday!

photokitty

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Fr. Robert and Mrs. Susan Smith. That's how you address married Episcopalian ministers, so I assume it would hold true for married Catholic priests. You can also do: The Rev. Fr. Robert and Mrs. Susan Smith.

I thought a man was never supposed to be parted from his last name? Are you sure it shouldn't be

Fr. Robert Smith and Mrs. Susan Smith or Mrs. Susan and Fr. Smith or Fr. and Mrs. Robert Smith?

HisGirlFriday13

You could do: 

Fr. and Mrs. Robert Smith

Fr. Robert and Mrs. Susan Smith

Fr. Robert Smith and Mrs. Susan Smith

Some men don't want to be separated from their last names, some women don't want to be Mrs. DHFirstName DHLastName.

I just quoted what Miss Manners writes in her etiquette book.

Since we've had no end of threads on whether women want to be Mrs. John Smith or Mrs. Susan Smith or Ms. Susan Smith, I would ask, but the technical etiquette is above.

phira

We're not inviting any priests to our wedding, but this has been a helpful thread thanks to @hisgirlfriday13! I have been really frustrated about how to address invitations to John and Jane Smith while still using titles but not saying Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.

HisGirlFriday13

I treat names the way you treat maths equations, which might be wrong, but it works.

If you have an equation (2x + 4y) z, the order of operations says you apply the z (through multiplication) to the 2x and the 4y, and then you solve.

In the case of names, you're doing (Mr. Robert and Mrs. Susan) Jones. 

It makes sense in my head. It might not make sense to anyone else. But it makes sense in my head.

photokitty

I just put the woman first so the man is not detached from his name, if I wanted to list both names. (Mrs. Susan and Mr. Robert Jones) Or list both names in full. That's what I learned on the Invited and Paper forum. But I think it's pretty close to a victimless crime.

theartistformerlyknownas

I did "The Reverend Roy and Mrs. Faye Lastname" for our officiant. I feel like the "separating a man from his last name" thing doesn't apply since clergy are typically addressed as Title Firstname anyway, whereas you don't typically call someone Mr. Firstname, you say Mr. Lastname. But that's totally just logic I made up in my head cuz it sounded right to me. :-p

I skipped titles for everyone else because ughhhh. (Only Save the Dates so far, I have yet to decide whether I want to sort out all the doctors in FI's family for the invitations themselves.)

phira

@Lolo8383 We skipped titles for save the dates, too, with the exception of the two doctors (they earned their degrees relatively recently and after SO much ridiculous work, so we were excited to use their new titles) and some very traditional relatives. Not sure what we'll do for invitations.