International Wedding - when to send out invites?

heyashbash

Hi everyone - first time posting, so forgive my naïvety. 

My fiancé and I are getting married in October in my hometown in VA. However, he and I both live in London (he's British), and will be inviting his family and our UK friends. Several of the people we know are going to make a vacation of it and travel elsewhere in the States when they come for the wedding, so we thought it would be nice to include things to do in the area (visit Colonial Williamsburg, museums, beach, etc), travel to other places (such as taking the train to DC), and how to get to Norfolk (airport codes and such) as an insert with the invitation as a few people keep asking us for ideas. We're also hosting a BBQ the day after the wedding for everyone to get together in a more laid-back setting, so it would be great if people could also plan to say for that.

I know that the proper etiquette is to send invites out 6-8 weeks from the wedding, but that being said, the best time to book international flights price-wise is around April/May, so my fiancé wants to send out invites then (which I think is way too early, but I can see his point) with all of the details so that people can plan their trips. 

After much back and forth, I told him I'd ask for advice on here.  My current thinking is to order everything, and only mail the international invitations (UK, Australia, and New Zealand) mid April so people can plan, but send the US ones later closer to the wedding, as per tradition.  What's everyone's thoughts?

AddieCake

I think with international travel it's ok to send them earlier. Sending them 6 months early seems a bit much, though. But since you're saying the price is better, maybe it would be ok. And hooray for VA! (I am fairly recently relocated here and loving it.)

doeydo

Why don't you just send STDs and send invitations at a more normal time?

LondonLisa

The etiquette rule for invites in the UK (and I believe in Oz and NZ too) is three to four months before the wedding, which I know is different than in North America. If you have the invites available, I would send them earlier to these guests and send the invites to the North Americans on that schedule (6-8 weeks). But I would also email all your British/Kiwi/ Aussie invitees and tell them: save the date, invites are being sent out around x date, and to feel free to start planning (maybe suggest a few hotels). International airfare can be expensive, so it is best to give them the heads up beforehand not just for purchasing but so they can save some money for the trip. 

LondonLisa

PS- welcome to the boards, I'm a fellow Londoner

heyashbash

Thank you both, LondonLisa and AddieL73! 

Splitting the mail-out times seems to be the way to go!

On a side note, Lisa - we're going to a wedding in the UK in May, but no sign of our invite yet. I wonder if she's following the US rules instead of the UK (the bride is half American, but born and raised in England). I didn't realise there were so many different protocols once you go trans-Atlantic.

[Deleted User]

I had relatives in Germany and throughout the US to invite to our wedding. I sent out our STD about 9 months in advance. Bascially once we had the important details firmed up (date & guest list). This way any guests who would need to worry about booking flights or arranging time off from work would have plenty of time to plan for that. My relatives in Germany were a little thrown off by the STD as that is not a practice in Germany but my mom explained to them what they were. Our invites went out about 3 months prior to our wedding date to allow plenty of time for overseas delivery & for the responses to come back.

For the record as a guest, I appreciate as much notice as possible of an wedding invite if I am going to have to travel (even if it's just an STD). This way I can check into the cost of flights & hotels & figure out if I can afford to go & have time to save up the money. Also where I work I have a very hard time getting days off so the more notice I have, the better chance I can change my schedule around so I can get the time off needed.

LondonLisa

Yeah, @Schatzi13, I agree that can be a problem but there may be ways around it. If OP errs on the 3 month side for invites to the UK/Oz/NZ and 8 weeks to North America, that shouldn't only be a matter of weeks difference. I would think most people, if it came up, would understand this was due to international vs domestic guests and not B-listing. Especially if the RSVP date is the same and STDs were sent out. What do you think?

But I definitely would email/call international guests ASAP when date and venue are set so they can start saving and planning. 

heyashbash

Yeah, we sent STDs out last month (end of Jan) with just the date and location - but no travel details or anything and that's what a lot of people have been asking us about it. 

LondonLisa said:

 I would think most people, if it came up, would understand this was due to international vs domestic guests and not B-listing. 

We aren't too worried about people thinking about B-listing, because we don't have too many 'crossovers' so to speak. All of the international guests are from his side/joint friends, all the US guests are from my family's side - so we wouldn't really have people comparing and contrasting when they got their invitations. 

heyashbash

Schatzi13 said:

Do you have a wedding website? If so, you can put travel and tourist info up there. If not, you could send to these guests individually. Maybe write up a form email with travel info and links to local tourist pages.

Also, I totally missed the question about the BBQ in your OP. I believe that the typical recommendation is that invitations for the BBQ go out separately if only a few are invited, but that they can be included if everyone is invited. Someone who knows more about that could comment further.

We don't have a website, it just wasn't something that interested us and we've had mixed reviews from friends who have had them.

We're including the BBQ invitations with the wedding invites, as everyone is invited. It wasn't so much a question, but more of a "we'd like people to know before they book their flights so they know it's going on and can hopefully stay" kind of deal.

Thanks for the input though!  I've convinced my other half to split the send-out dates.