Chit Chat

I am in a piss poor mood today. *Sensitive*

I had to go to a funeral on Friday for my cousin's son. He was 20 years old and he killed himself. I actually didn't know him very well at all. He was taken away from my cousin when he was 5 years old. He became a ward of the state and was institutionalized until he was 18. He had major emotional and behavioral issues and was considered mentally disabled. He killed himself while he was in jail. 
Now my cousin, his mother, has been a hard core drug addict for the last 25 years. I believe that her son had these issues because she drank and used throughout her pregnancy. I haven't even seen her in 6 or 7 years. She lives in a legit crack house. 
She didn't show up to her son's funeral. Her mother and father (my dad's brother), while not surprised, were both heartbroken. It was really hard to watch my family go through this. And I feel like my cousin is not far behind, if you know what I mean. My cousin, her sister, said that to me at the funeral too. 

So, I've just been in a sad mood since then. And now I'm at work and my annoying co-worker is blathering on to me about the stupidest shit and I just want to scream in her face, " I don't fucking care!" My head in just not in it today. 

Anyway, thank you for letting me vent. 

Re: I am in a piss poor mood today. *Sensitive*

  • I'm really sorry. That sounds like a very difficult thing to be going through, and yeah, sometimes you just want to shake people around you and give them some perspective.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • An addict will not get help for the addiction until they are absolutely ready without anyone telling what to do. I'm sorry for what your family is going through. I hope your cousin will make the choice to get help.
  • aleighc3 said:
    An addict will not get help for the addiction until they are absolutely ready without anyone telling what to do. I'm sorry for what your family is going through. I hope your cousin will make the choice to get help.
    That's very true. Unfortunately my family has a lot of experience with addiction. 

    My cousin was recently in jail. She was arrested for possession. She ended up detoxing while there. Her sister went to go see her and she basically told her that she's going back to using as soon as she gets out. She doesn't want to get help and she doesn't want to change her life. It's sad, but there's nothing that any of us can do. My uncle gave up on her years ago. He spent $$$$ over the years trying to get her help. 
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm so sorry for the heartache you feel. (((HUGS)))
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I'm very sorry for your loss. This is a tragic situation all around, and a lot to deal with.

    Do you have to be at work today? Could you maybe take the rest of the day to grieve and clear your head?


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  • I'm so sorry for your loss, and really sorry that your family is going through this. I do hope that your cousin gets the help that she needs before it is too late. 
                                 Anniversary
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  • I am so sorry about your cousin.  Addiction and alcoholism are rampant in my family so I am no stranger to what you are talking about.  My brother was an alcoholic and addict and I did his eulogy in 2006.  He had been clean and sober for over 15 years when he went back to drinking and using.  He truly was my best friend in the whole world.  I did his eulogy.

    My heart breaks for your aunt and uncle.  How crushing to have to endure their daughter not attending her own son's funeral.  Once you are addicted, you are always addicted.  Even when you are clean and sober for 15 years you are still addicted. It is a daily, hourly battle and I am so humbled by those who work whatever program works for them and they have maintained their sobriety another day.  Since your cousin lives in a crack house she is surrounded by crack heads and they all feed each other's addictions.  I could easily imagine her going on a serious bender after hearing about her son's death.

    I am not excusing any of her actions and you may be right about his problems being caused by her using/drinking during pregnancy.  I have just witnessed up front (and repeatedly) how fragile people are (addicts/alcoholics AND their families) and the incredible battle addicts and alcoholics fight everyday when they are trying to maintain their sobriety.  Trying to GET to that point is a miracle in itself.  Most never get there.

    I am really sorry for your loss and the anger you need to work through.  I just wanted to send you some hugs as you work your way though it.

  • I'm so sorry for your loss, and to hear that addiction has ravaged yet another family. It is so heartbreaking to watch the ones you care about struggle with this every day. Lots of hugs, thoughts, and prayers to you.

  • I'm very sorry for your loss. This is a tragic situation all around, and a lot to deal with.

    Do you have to be at work today? Could you maybe take the rest of the day to grieve and clear your head?
    Unfortunately I have to be here today. I took off Friday for the funeral. And my assistant is brand new so I feel guilty leaving her. 


    kmmssg said:

    I am so sorry about your cousin.  Addiction and alcoholism are rampant in my family so I am no stranger to what you are talking about.  My brother was an alcoholic and addict and I did his eulogy in 2006.  He had been clean and sober for over 15 years when he went back to drinking and using.  He truly was my best friend in the whole world.  I did his eulogy.

    My heart breaks for your aunt and uncle.  How crushing to have to endure their daughter not attending her own son's funeral.  Once you are addicted, you are always addicted.  Even when you are clean and sober for 15 years you are still addicted. It is a daily, hourly battle and I am so humbled by those who work whatever program works for them and they have maintained their sobriety another day.  Since your cousin lives in a crack house she is surrounded by crack heads and they all feed each other's addictions.  I could easily imagine her going on a serious bender after hearing about her son's death.

    I am not excusing any of her actions and you may be right about his problems being caused by her using/drinking during pregnancy.  I have just witnessed up front (and repeatedly) how fragile people are (addicts/alcoholics AND their families) and the incredible battle addicts and alcoholics fight everyday when they are trying to maintain their sobriety.  Trying to GET to that point is a miracle in itself.  Most never get there.

    I am really sorry for your loss and the anger you need to work through.  I just wanted to send you some hugs as you work your way though it.

    I'm so very sorry to hear about your brother. What a tragic situation. My brother is an alcoholic too. We had an intervention for him in January. My dad is an alcoholic too and has thankfully been sober for almost 30 years. 

    I thought the same thing about my cousin too. She's probably in the middle of a bender. Who knows when she'll turn up again. It's just so sad. 
  • And thank you everyone for your kind words. I really do appreciate it. 
  • That is a tragedy on every level. It makes my heart so heavy that your cousin's son wasn't matched with a loving family that could give him the emotional support he needed. He was certainly dealt a bad hand in life. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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  • I'm very sorry for your loss. This is a tragic situation all around, and a lot to deal with.

    Do you have to be at work today? Could you maybe take the rest of the day to grieve and clear your head?
    Unfortunately I have to be here today. I took off Friday for the funeral. And my assistant is brand new so I feel guilty leaving her. 


    kmmssg said:

    I am so sorry about your cousin.  Addiction and alcoholism are rampant in my family so I am no stranger to what you are talking about.  My brother was an alcoholic and addict and I did his eulogy in 2006.  He had been clean and sober for over 15 years when he went back to drinking and using.  He truly was my best friend in the whole world.  I did his eulogy.

    My heart breaks for your aunt and uncle.  How crushing to have to endure their daughter not attending her own son's funeral.  Once you are addicted, you are always addicted.  Even when you are clean and sober for 15 years you are still addicted. It is a daily, hourly battle and I am so humbled by those who work whatever program works for them and they have maintained their sobriety another day.  Since your cousin lives in a crack house she is surrounded by crack heads and they all feed each other's addictions.  I could easily imagine her going on a serious bender after hearing about her son's death.

    I am not excusing any of her actions and you may be right about his problems being caused by her using/drinking during pregnancy.  I have just witnessed up front (and repeatedly) how fragile people are (addicts/alcoholics AND their families) and the incredible battle addicts and alcoholics fight everyday when they are trying to maintain their sobriety.  Trying to GET to that point is a miracle in itself.  Most never get there.

    I am really sorry for your loss and the anger you need to work through.  I just wanted to send you some hugs as you work your way though it.

    I'm so very sorry to hear about your brother. What a tragic situation. My brother is an alcoholic too. We had an intervention for him in January. My dad is an alcoholic too and has thankfully been sober for almost 30 years. 

    I thought the same thing about my cousin too. She's probably in the middle of a bender. Who knows when she'll turn up again. It's just so sad. 

    Thanks.  I do hope your brother's intervention was successful.  Your dad being sober for 30 years is beyond awesome and I am always so happy to hear stories like this.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
  • *hugs* So sorry for your loss.
    Formerly known as bubbles053009





  • I'm very sorry for your loss.
  • I'm so sorry, that is really hard to go through. My SO's cousin died last year in a very similar set of circumstances and really his mother (SO's aunt) is on her way there, but she at least showed up to her son's funeral.

    It's really heartbreaking to watch loved ones destroy themselves. *hugs*


  • I'm so sorry for your loss. That has to be tough. 
    My aunt is an alcoholic and has never wanted to change. My dad always said people have to really hit "rock bottom" to change. Everyone's rock bottom is different, and for some people rock bottom is death, so they will die before they change.

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  • So sorry for your loss and the pain your family is going through.
  • So sorry for your family's loss.

    I hope tomorrow is a bit brighter for you.
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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