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My MOH is feeling second rate...

sockmisersockmiser member
5 Love Its First Comment
in Moms and Maids
I need help ladies. My MIL is throwing me a shower later this month in my FI's home town. Guest list consists of my Bridal party and the females from the FI's side of the family. Its an all weekend event and really pretty over the top. I'm sure it will be a blast, but the issue is my sister/MOH. She is a) crushed that she can't make it due to a work event. (My MIL did not check the date with me before sending out invites or I would have fought for my sister to be able to come) And b) a birdy has told me she is feeling really awful that the shower she is hoping to throw will pale in comparison. 

And I feel awful that she feels awful! My sister is a wonderful mother, loving wife and works her tail off every single day. Plus, right now she and her husband are so close to being able to afford their first house, the last thing I want is for her to blow money on a shower for me. I mean, even before the invites for this other shower came I would have said the same thing. How do I ease her worry and make this more affordable for her? I've asked to help bring treats to the shower as I love baking. And when she asked for ideas I suggested we do a simple party in the backyard of my parents home. But these efforts have been brushed off. I just want my sister to know that no matter what she decides to do I will love it, and her. 
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Re: My MOH is feeling second rate...

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I think the best you can do is to just TELL her that you will love it no matter what she does. It sounds like she isn't going to allow you to do much else in the way of easing the stress for her. I am sad for her, too, now b/c I hate for anyone to be feeling like that!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • sockmisersockmiser member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Yes, and I do plan on doing this. I just found out about her feelings a few hours ago. I guess my worry with approaching her is that she will know what she said in confidence was shared and will be more embarrassed that her little sister 'knows' she is struggling. I mean, I already knew, but she is so proud! 
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  • pegasuskatpegasuskat member
    First Comment Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    I would tell her that while you appreciated your MIL shower, it was really over the top and that you are looking forward to a more laid back party for your side of the family/friends.  Make it seem like you are very excited for a casual relaxed party, and the LAST thing you want is another huge blow-out.  Let her know that is really what you want, I would not mention anything about finances, make it about the atmosphere, not money at all.
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  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    My MOH felt the same way. She felt bad that she could not throw me a big over the top shower. I told her, the quaint shower she had planned is JUST what I wanted. I hate really big parties (I am terrible at small talk.) And I HATE bridal shower games. With her hosting my shower, I will have a small group of people who don't care for bridal shower games either. We will probably just eat delicious food, talk, play lawn games or board games and have a blast!
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