Guests clothes vs etiquette

casey8784

I am getting married in late October in a southern New England seaside town. Almost all of our guests will be coming from out of state, and most have never been to New England. I've already had quite a few ask me what the weather is going to be like, so is it ok to suggest on the website what kind of clothes (NOT specific ceremony/reception attire) they should bring, taking into account how one day it could be sunny and 70, and the next day could be rainy and 40? I was thinking of something along the lines of "Newport in October has the stereotypical New England weather and can change in a blink of an eye, so it may be a good idea to pack layers for comfort."

STARMOON44

Just explain the weather, they can figure out for themselves to bring clothing appropriate for it.

NavyBlue143

Personally I think that's fine. You aren't telling people what to wear so much as making a suggestion for their comfort.

grumbledore

I would explain the weather and let that be their guide.

SomethingBeautiful08

I would defiantly give a farmer's almanac explanation of the weather... i.e. average temp for the time of year, the type of weather.  I don't mind suggesting layers but I wouldn't go further then that. 

phira

That sounds fine to me. As a born-and-raised New Englander, I have noticed that our weather reputation is for freezing cold, blizzardy winters, when in reality, we just have obnoxiously unpredictable weather. The only attire that I put away seasonally are bathing suits and snow jackets. You never know when you'll end up in a sun dress in mid-January (hint: not this year).

casey8784

phira said:

That sounds fine to me. As a born-and-raised New Englander, I have noticed that our weather reputation is for freezing cold, blizzardy winters, when in reality, we just have obnoxiously unpredictable weather. The only attire that I put away seasonally are bathing suits and snow jackets. You never know when you'll end up in a sun dress in mid-January (hint: not this year).

I think I've resigned myself to the fact that Boston isn't going to get above freezing for a while...hopefully will be "normal" fall weather (or even a bit warmer, possibility of having my ceremony outside!) come October! I'm usually a fan of winter (skiing, etc) but this year, I just want the cold to end!!

Ven&Radio

We had a very similar wedding -- coastal southern New England with lots of out-of-state (mainly southern) guests.  We made sure H's parents were well informed on the weather and passed it on to their relatives who were coming.  Only one guest appeared to be freezing her ass off (on a lovely 67 degree day), everyone else seemed to have figured out how to dress comfortably.

AddieCake

I think that is fine. We started out doing that when our venue was on a lake. While visiting it, we were unprepared for how windy it was, so we included that info on the website. We changed venues, though, and it was no longer an issue. But I know I would want that kind of info!

saacjw

My friends had a similar situation (replace New England with Rocky Mountains) and on their website wrote something along the lines of "This time of year, temperatures can drop drastically over the course of the day and it may be more comfortable to have a sweater or jacket in the evening. The wedding will be at x time and in a sunny location." I think that did a good job of suggesting that layers might be appropriate, but not dictating dress. I brought a sweater, btw, and did end up needing it throughout the course of the day. There really were major fluctuations. 

This friend's site also had good tips on overcoming altitude sickness for those of us Midwesterners who don't know how to handle mountains. 

phira

casey8784 said:

phira said:

That sounds fine to me. As a born-and-raised New Englander, I have noticed that our weather reputation is for freezing cold, blizzardy winters, when in reality, we just have obnoxiously unpredictable weather. The only attire that I put away seasonally are bathing suits and snow jackets. You never know when you'll end up in a sun dress in mid-January (hint: not this year).

I think I've resigned myself to the fact that Boston isn't going to get above freezing for a while...hopefully will be "normal" fall weather (or even a bit warmer, possibility of having my ceremony outside!) come October! I'm usually a fan of winter (skiing, etc) but this year, I just want the cold to end!!

My friend just got back from vacation abroad and got very sad when I told her we're supposed to have 2-3 more weeks of cold.

lightningsnow

As a fellow New Englander, I agree that stating how the weather can change in the blink of an eye should be fine. I always joke that this area should have a giant billboard on the borders saying that tourists should pack for all four seasons because you will likely experience them in the span of one weekend.

lyndausvi

That's perfectly fine.

I sometimes get annoyed at the "they are adults and can figure it out" thought process.  Sure they are adults, but why would you not want to help your nearest and dearest with something simple like what the weather is like so I know how to pack?  IDK,  seems to impersonal to just say "Google it?"

Maybe it's just my old self speaking?  I didn't grow up with internet or Google and family/friends helped each other not send people to the Weather Channel.  Often times local knowledge is way more informative than a Google search.

For example, 40 degrees in Indy is somewhat cold.   40 degrees in CO and I find I have my sunroof open and the heat turned off.  

lc07

OP, I am assuming that your ceremony and reception will be taking place inside. If for some reason they are taking place outside, I think that should be noted as well. I'd want to pack a big warm coat and my actual attire would be different if I had to be outside for a longer period than just walking from the car/taxi/shuttle.

freebread03

As someone who lives in the Mid-Atlantic but visits Arizona often (including last weekend when it was 70-75 and sunny before returning to a huge snowstorm in DC), I would appreciate you mentioning that layers are a good idea, but I'd also appreciate an explanation of daytime wear. I know how to dress myself for a fancy event-I'm wearing a dress and basically the same shoes no matter what, but for walking around? It's easy to forget what "70 degrees" feels like when you've had 20s and 30s all month. Saying "I usually carry a Patagonia or fleece with me and make sure to have close toed shoes for walking around in case of rain." Yeah I can ask the internet, and I can dress myself 99 percent of the time, but it IS easy to forget what a certain temp feels like if you havent felt it in 4-6 months.

phira

We're getting married in fall in New England, but we're letting guests know that the whole wedding will be inside, and there's a coat check.

casey8784

lc07 said:

OP, I am assuming that your ceremony and reception will be taking place inside. If for some reason they are taking place outside, I think that should be noted as well. I'd want to pack a big warm coat and my actual attire would be different if I had to be outside for a longer period than just walking from the car/taxi/shuttle.

The reception is inside; the ceremony, unless our fall is unusually warm (in my dreams), will realistically also be inside. Newport in October is usually in the 60s, however last fall was in the high 60s/low 70s, and the fall before that it was in the 70s and the venue was holding outdoor weddings until past Thanksgiving...so who knows what's it's really going to be like. 

However, the question I was asking, about layers and such, was more for the rest of the weekend other than for the actual ceremony (walking around the downtown area, sightseeing, etc), since while it may be 65 during the day, it would probably drop to low 40s at night...

lc07

casey8784 said:

lc07 said:

OP, I am assuming that your ceremony and reception will be taking place inside. If for some reason they are taking place outside, I think that should be noted as well. I'd want to pack a big warm coat and my actual attire would be different if I had to be outside for a longer period than just walking from the car/taxi/shuttle.

The reception is inside; the ceremony, unless our fall is unusually warm (in my dreams), will realistically also be inside. Newport in October is usually in the 60s, however last fall was in the high 60s/low 70s, and the fall before that it was in the 70s and the venue was holding outdoor weddings until past Thanksgiving...so who knows what's it's really going to be like. 

However, the question I was asking, about layers and such, was more for the rest of the weekend other than for the actual ceremony (walking around the downtown area, sightseeing, etc), since while it may be 65 during the day, it would probably drop to low 40s at night...

Gotcha. I would appreciate the heads up regarding weather the way you are putting it on your website. And I put something similar on our own website. I think it likely prompted our guests to check the weather report in advance of their travel, too.

MandyMost

I wish I could have remembered the actual wording of a friend's website, because they addressed the weather in a very useful way. Something like "While the location is outside of the city and likely to be cooler than downtown, it is July in Washington D.C., and temperatures are likely to be hot and humid. The wedding will be taking place outside in the early evening while the sun is still up, so be careful not to get burned. We'll be sure to keep you hydrated!"

I've been to D.C. plenty of times and know they have hot summers, but the info on the website made me really consider it, and I definitely chose a lighter dress than I otherwise would have. 

sofakingmad

Since people have asked about it, I would put it on your wedding website.

I had my wedding on St. Thomas in a garden. Lots of cobblestone and grassy pathways and I wanted the women to know that.  Did I care if they wore heels?  Not at all.  I just wanted to make sure that they were comfortable.  

And because my circle of friends if very accustomed to wearing formal clothing (Suits, cocktails dresses, etc) , I let them know that they would wear whatever they felt comfortable in because it would be 75-80 degrees and we were outside.  

I didn't feel that I was dictating what people could wear, I just wanted them to be as comfortable as possible in the environment.  

ETA:  basically EVERYONE asked me what the dress code was and all I said was "you can show up in your bathing suit for all I care.  Just wear whatever makes you most comfortable."

jenna8984

freebread03 said:

As someone who lives in the Mid-Atlantic but visits Arizona often (including last weekend when it was 70-75 and sunny before returning to a huge snowstorm in DC), I would appreciate you mentioning that layers are a good idea, but I'd also appreciate an explanation of daytime wear. I know how to dress myself for a fancy event-I'm wearing a dress and basically the same shoes no matter what, but for walking around? It's easy to forget what "70 degrees" feels like when you've had 20s and 30s all month. Saying "I usually carry a Patagonia or fleece with me and make sure to have close toed shoes for walking around in case of rain." Yeah I can ask the internet, and I can dress myself 99 percent of the time, but it IS easy to forget what a certain temp feels like if you havent felt it in 4-6 months.

@freebread03 This is very true!! I attended a wedding where I live (Massachusetts) last year and many guests were from southern California. It was the first week of May and it was about 50 degrees here and they were all frozen. They had these tiny, thin sweaters and said "well I don't live in 50 degrees so I thought this would be sufficient for it, I didn't know it was like this!". People who live in warm climates watch movies and think that all you need is a cute scarf for frolicking in the snow- they don't know about ski jackets and waterproof boots!! I realize yours will have no snow, but I think it is good to tell them details of a light jacket.

ashleyep

casey8784 said:

lc07 said:

OP, I am assuming that your ceremony and reception will be taking place inside. If for some reason they are taking place outside, I think that should be noted as well. I'd want to pack a big warm coat and my actual attire would be different if I had to be outside for a longer period than just walking from the car/taxi/shuttle.

The reception is inside; the ceremony, unless our fall is unusually warm (in my dreams), will realistically also be inside. Newport in October is usually in the 60s, however last fall was in the high 60s/low 70s, and the fall before that it was in the 70s and the venue was holding outdoor weddings until past Thanksgiving...so who knows what's it's really going to be like. 

However, the question I was asking, about layers and such, was more for the rest of the weekend other than for the actual ceremony (walking around the downtown area, sightseeing, etc), since while it may be 65 during the day, it would probably drop to low 40s at night...

And it's been known to snow in October on occasion :P