Moms and Maids

Bridesmaid Dress Problems Need Help ASAP

I am in a wedding in Florida in April, but I am having serious issues with our dress. The dress is a short, strapless cocktail type dress, made of a flimsy satin material with very little boning. I am 5'5", 134lbs, with a 34DD bust. I purchased the dress in a size 8 to fit my chest. The dress fit for the most part, it was a little loose, and the bride did not want me to be pulling it up all the time so the seamstress took the dress in in my waist and chest. I had my 2nd fitting the other day and I am having major boob issues, they do not fit in the dress so they are pushed together, and down but are still oozing out all over the place. The seamstress apologized and said that there was nothing she could do that I just had a big chest and was wearing a style of dress that was not made more my body type, she offered to add straps but the bride nixed those. The bride said the dress didn't look that bad. I am really afraid that at the wedding I will rip out of my dress, and I also have to wear the dress a few weeks later at the NY reception. I bought a minimizer bra today and that helped a little with the boobs but added more strain to the zipper. I am exercising non stop but when I lose weight it does not tend to be in my boobs unless I lose a drastic amount. I really need help to decide what to do about this dress. There is another bridesmaid having similar issues; she approached me at the shower and said she could get hers on but it didn't fit (not sure what that means). I don't want to add more stress to the bride. Should I go back to the seamstress and ask her to let it out? Does anyone know of any miracle spanx type contraption I could wear underneath? I am also not opposed to exercise and diet suggestions.

Re: Bridesmaid Dress Problems Need Help ASAP

  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2014
    I have to say that this is the reason that I'm a fan of letting the bridal party pick out their dresses.

    ETA: Sorry I don't have advice. I have this problem with some clothes, but I've managed to not buy them. 

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    lc07
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I think you need to go back to the seamstress WITHOUT the bride in tow and have the seamstress fit the dress to you appropriately and ADD straps.  I don't give a shit if the bride nixed the straps, you need them and that is that.  I would also look into buying or wearing a regular bra and make sure that whatever straps are added cover that bra (make sure the seamstress includes those tiny bra strap holders under the dress strap to keep the bra strap in place).

    You shouldn't have to kill yourself by exercising none stop to fit into a dress when it can easily be let out.  That is ridiculous.  You need to alter that dress to support your large chest and taking it in so that it would super tight is not the answer.

    And I agree with artbyallie, the bride cannot force you to wear that dress twice.  You only have to wear it for the actual wedding.  The AHR is not part of the wedding and you should be able to wear whatever the hell you want.  This bride sounds nuts.

    KeptInStitchesOliveOilsMomMairePoppyBlue_Bird
  • I am a similar build to you and I was in a wedding wearing a strapless, sweetheart neckline...  Let's just say that wedding is the reason I let me bridesmaids pick their own styles.  The compromise that we made, was straps that could be attached.  During the ceremony & pictures I wore it strapless, and then I attached the straps for the reception.  It worked really well!

    Just an idea!
    Bubblegum5586Blue_Birdlc07
  • I have to defend the bride in that she is definitely not a bridezilla, if anything she is struggling to stand up for what she wants. She had a very nice long flowing beach dress originally picked out but it was nixed by her sister the  18 year old MOH, the dress we are wearing right now is the MOHs pick and I understand the bride wanting us to look uniform. I like the idea of removable straps so for ceremony and pictures I can be strapless and then be comfortable for the receptions. I am also planning to go back to the seamstress to see if it can be let out, maybe I can tape the dress to me so it doesn't slide around so much?

  • I wore a strapless DB dress in a wedding a few months ago, and am also a 34DD.  Here are a few options...

     

    ...never would have thought of this EVER, but if the top is tight enough, try going braless.  Wearing a bra actually makes your boobs take up more space.  I NEVER wear strapless dresses becuse i feel completely uncomfortable without a bra, but I tried it in this dress and it did actually work.  Everything stayed in and up.  Another option - I did bring a bolero-like cardigan that i added for the reception.  it made me less self-conscious and afraid that my boobs were going to be flying everywhere.

     

    That having been said, I did agree to the dress initially because it was cheap, the other girls liked it, i knew the ceremony was only going to be 15 minutes, and I knew the bride wouldn't have cared if i completely changed out of it for the reception even.  Your bride seems to be a lot more high maintenance than that.  it's bad enough to have a reception on a separate day, but to ask the WP to dress up a second time?  No.  And to say No to straps that would have made you more comfortable is unbelievably rude.  Straps wouldn't ruin her piuctures.  She sounds like a terrible friend honestly.  She's willing to sacrifice your comfort for a few pictures.  That's horrible.

    MairePoppyOliveOilsMom3ringnecklace
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I agree that the bride is inconsiderate to 'nix' the straps and micromanage the alterations. Tell the seamstress to let the dress out and add straps. If the bride doesn't like it, tough. She may be a nice friend, ordinarily, but not in this case. 
                       
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2014
    ascornell said:
    I am in a wedding in Florida in April, but I am having serious issues with our dress. The dress is a short, strapless cocktail type dress, made of a flimsy satin material with very little boning. I am 5'5", 134lbs, with a 34DD bust. I purchased the dress in a size 8 to fit my chest. The dress fit for the most part, it was a little loose, and the bride did not want me to be pulling it up all the time so the seamstress took the dress in in my waist and chest. I had my 2nd fitting the other day and I am having major boob issues, they do not fit in the dress so they are pushed together, and down but are still oozing out all over the place. The seamstress apologized and said that there was nothing she could do that I just had a big chest and was wearing a style of dress that was not made more my body type, she offered to add straps but the bride nixed those. The bride said the dress didn't look that bad. I am really afraid that at the wedding I will rip out of my dress, and I also have to wear the dress a few weeks later at the NY reception. I bought a minimizer bra today and that helped a little with the boobs but added more strain to the zipper. I am exercising non stop but when I lose weight it does not tend to be in my boobs unless I lose a drastic amount. I really need help to decide what to do about this dress. There is another bridesmaid having similar issues; she approached me at the shower and said she could get hers on but it didn't fit (not sure what that means). I don't want to add more stress to the bride. Should I go back to the seamstress and ask her to let it out? Does anyone know of any miracle spanx type contraption I could wear underneath? I am also not opposed to exercise and diet suggestions.



    It sounds to me as if the bride and seamstress are at fault here.  It sounds as if you were comfortable in the dress but concerns from the bride forced the seamstress to make poor alterations.  

    I hope you are not being forced to pay for alterations you never wanted in the first place, and are now required to revisit because the seamstress did a poor job the first time around.  I would also recommend you take the suggestion of @delujm0 and consider either going braless, or see if the seamstress can sew in a thin cup.  My daughter is a DD and had cups sewn into her wedding gown.  She felt completely supported.

    Is it possible to alter the zipper and replace with a slight corset closing?  The alteration would not show from the front view.
    Jen&Mike8
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary

    I'm a similar build to you (except having to order a 12 to accommodate my butt and altering the rest to fit). I'm a 32 DD and I understand the pain of wearing a strapless dress. Not only do you worry about your boobs over flowing but you also have side boob to worry about. (This also happened to my MOH in another wedding she is in this year, the entire bridal party picked strapless and she loathes strapless)

    My advice is to have the seamstress let the top out, sinch the waist, go braless (seriously it helps), and as a PP suggested maybe add a corsetted back. The corsetted back really provides a lot of support. Also, if the waist is fitted then the top won't fall as easily. I would also add straps if nothing else works.


  • Update: The bad news, the bride nixed any more alterations and removable straps, she doesnt want to pay for it and she doesnt think the dress looks that bad. The good news is we only have to wear our dresses for the cermony, we can change for the receptions.

    I am going to continue to work out because any weight I lose will help. I am also going to play around with different bras and tapes. I wore it braless for the fitting and I thought it looked terrible, so it needs something I just dont know if I will ever find what that something is.
  • @ascornell is the bride paying for the dress and alterations?  She does not get to dictate how your dress fits/feels since she is not wearing the dress.  If you are uncomfortable you have every right to get it altered--especially if you are paying for it.  I would still get it altered and have removable straps so you can take them on and off if needed.  I have a 34DD as well and always had to order up in order for bridesmaid dresses (and my wedding dress) to fit comfortably around my boobs. I always got it to work comfortably--bridal is the only types of dresses I will ever wear strapless simply because they can be fitted to me. 

    If it helps, I found a strapless corset type bra at Frederick of Hollywood that is smooth/slimming and very supportive that I wore with these types of dresses. 
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    lc07
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Wait a minute - is the bride paying for the dress and alterations? 

    You should tell her you'll pay for your own alterations so she doesn't have to worry about the cost of the straps.

    It sounds like you're satisfied with wearing it, as is, for the ceremony and changing for the reception, so I guess you've solved the problem/

                       
    OliveOilsMom
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