Very unusual favor... is this tacky?

My dad passed away last fall after a short fight with cancer. He LOVED to make wine. He had over 2000 bottles in the cellar when he died, and it really is pretty good wine. He and my mom would drink, between them, a bottle in an evening on a semi-regular basis. But, now he's gone, and she's had some thyroid issues and has stopped drinking. So there's an awful lot of wine, that my dad used to love to brag about and share with everyone going to waste, and it kills me.

So, this wedding has been a little hard to plan since dad won't be there. One idea I had, was to have a table with some of his wines. I was thinking of inviting people to take a bottle with them as a favor, and maybe a short and sweet note in his memory, maybe asking them to toast him.

Couple other notes -- this will NOT be the primary favor. My FH loves the idea of a candy bar, and we had some other ideas. The wine was just going to be optional and supplemental. Also, we can't serve it at the venue for legal reasons. That's why we thought about just inviting guests to take a bottle if they wanted to.

This would be a way for his wine to be shared, the way he liked to do, and not go to waste, and also maybe be a way to include him in my day. But... I'm pretty emotional about this, and I have a hard time gauging if this is appropriate or not. I was hoping to get your thoughts. I know you'll straighten me out if this is ridiculous!
Marzipan13perdonamiOnionBreathHysilvinialithibelbookworm1115Knottie37373131SweetKatelynAshleyProclaimsjenijoyk[Deleted User]lebeers

Re: Very unusual favor... is this tacky?

  • Oh yes, they have very nice labels. He had lots of fun with that -- he cooked up his own little logo and everything.

    I like the escort card idea, but I know there are a couple people on the grooms side that are a little sensitive about alcohol, and would probably resent this. That's why I was thinking of having something that was sort of optional that people could find on their own. And really... there is enough wine for everyone to have a bottle.
  • Since you have guests that are sensitive to alcohol, it would be a same for them to get a bottle & then for it to go to waste. I like the idea of putting enough bottles out for everyone to take one and then whatever is left over you can take home & drink yourself or pass out to friends & family for special occasions.

    Just a thought, it might be nice to save a few bottles for yourself. Maybe you & mom can share a special private toast to dad the night before as your own private way to honor & remember him.

  • I love this idea!  My FIL makes wine and he provided it as favors for our wedding.  Nothing makes him happier than people enjoying his wine.  This is a wonderful way to honor your father.

    Also, *hugs*


  • That sounds lovely!

    I think you definitely need to save some bottles for your family though. There are always going to be occasions where your dad's wine will make you happy. If you have enough to share and still keep some, go for it. Otherwise, maybe just use it for a toast at the beginning of the night?
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I think this is a great idea! (Thanks for the idea too- my parents made wine before I was born, I think I'll have them pop open a bottle for the wedding)

    Since he did his own labels and everything you could just add a small tag to the top of the bottle!
  • That is an awesome idea!  
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  • I'm a fan. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • Thanks to everyone who responded, I'm pleased so many of you seem to think this is a great idea. :) I was hoping to be able to do this, and I think I will!
  • I love your idea, and I'm sure your dad does too!! :o)


  • I think it sounds fantastic.  I won't lie I teared up a little bit.
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  • This is a very nice idea.  Go for it!
  • Just a thought you may need to let your guests know not to pop the bottles open until they get home. However it's a very nice idea and very cool.
  • Like everyone else, I think this is a really wonderful idea.  It might be nice if you put a sign on the table or tags on the bottles (this may be more intensive depending on the size of your guest list) explaining that you wanted to share something your dad loved so much on this special day and you ask that they take a bottle home to toast in his memory.
  • Thank you again, so much, everyone! I do agree with some suggestions that I need to make it explicitly clear that the wine may NOT be opened at the venue, but that it should be taken home and enjoyed there. I love how accommodating and helpful my venue has been, I would hate for them to catch any heat for people opening wine there.

    For this reason, I probably won't use them as escort cards... I would prefer it to be something that people take "as they leave". No reason to have the bottle sitting at the table and tempting them. (and yes I know people who can open wine without a corkscrew like MacGyver) There is a lovely little foyer at our venue, and I will probably set it up there, so people can select a bottle as they go. I know they might want to pick theirs out sooner, so maybe I'll give them some sort of token they can use to drop over the neck and "claim" their bottle.

    I have to make sure my venue is ok with this, but I think they will be. Once again, thank you all... if random internet strangers are as touched as some of you claim to be, I hope my guests, who knew and loved my dad, will be also.
  • I love your idea! Like others have stated, I almost cried myself, and if your post is going to move strangers this much imagine how it will move your guests. What a wonderful way to honor your father. 

  • I don't even drink and I think it's a great idea.  While I wouldn't take any wine, I'd for sure smile over the meaning of it, and think it was a very nice gesture.
  • I would love this
  • Personally I do not drink, but I think this is a perfect way to honor him and have him be a part of your special day even if just in spirit.
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  • If you are serving alcohol at your reception and the wine bottles are corked, I think chances are pretty slim people will try to open them.

    I went to a wedding where wine was a favor.  No one tried to open the bottles.  At our wedding we had wine as a favor.  No one tried to open them.

    Someone would have to be a little ambitious or clueless (for lack of a better word) to be at a wedding with an open bar and take a bottle that looks like a take home favor because it has a tag on it and then try to find a corkscrew and empty glass to drink it.

    Our first venue said bringing the bottles was OK as long as they were corked (corked is harder to open than twist off).  They also encouraged us to have the DJ announce for everyone to get their favor and make sure to enjoy it after the reception.  That venue shut down and moved us to a replacement venue.  The replacement venue was like you are having wine favors--that's great.  No big deal. 

    Just putting in my 2 cents that you may be over thinking the people opening the bottles thing.

  • It's an excellent idea, in every way.
  • Once again, thanks everyone for the validation! It's getting close enough to the wedding that I'm starting to think about logistics of this. Mom and I will start samplinga bottle from wine "batches" and pick out "vintages" that will be appropriate to give. I also need to double check with the venue that this is ok... a staff person seemed to think it would be fine, but it wasn't exactly an official green light.

    Again, thanks to everyone for the positive feedback.
  • cambryncambryn member
    First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Not tacky in the least. I think it sounds lovely, and wish you two the best.

    I'm sorry you had to go through such loss, but this sounds like a wonderful way for him to be present and remembered by everyone. Well done.
  • Absolutely fantastic idea, IMO.
  • I love that idea!
  • Absolutely love this idea! Very beautiful meaning and touch to the wedding.
  • Amazing. Love, love, love it.
  • I love it too.
  • I think this is an amazing idea. Your dad would be so proud. If I were your Dad I would be so glad to bring something to your wedding day that everyone can enjoy while not been there. Such a personal touch, AMAZING!
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