wedding shower

metsfan5

I am a bridesmaid for a very good family friend. The brides cousin is the MOH and we are in charge of the wedding shower for the bride which is a surprise . The brides mother is also helping and as she has booked the place and food. I live in a different state so i cant go and talk to the MOH. so I text and talk to her over facebook trying to help plan the shower and i tell her my ideas and she shoots them down tells me no we are doing this and that. or she doesn't even care. the shower is in about 4 to 3 months and i would like to start coming up with ideas. Im not really sure what to do i understand that she is the MOH but it is just the two of us in the party and i feel like she thinks its her way or no way. im not sure if i should go to the brides mother and just tell her my ideas but i don't want to start drama cause the bride is already freaking out! Please give me advice!!

OliveOilsMom

metsfan5 said:

I am a bridesmaid for a very good family friend. The brides cousin is the MOH and we are in charge of the wedding shower for the bride which is a surprise . The brides mother is also helping and as she has booked the place and food. I live in a different state so i cant go and talk to the MOH. so I text and talk to her over facebook trying to help plan the shower and i tell her my ideas and she shoots them down tells me no we are doing this and that. or she doesn't even care. the shower is in about 4 to 3 months and i would like to start coming up with ideas. Im not really sure what to do i understand that she is the MOH but it is just the two of us in the party and i feel like she thinks its her way or no way. im not sure if i should go to the brides mother and just tell her my ideas but i don't want to start drama cause the bride is already freaking out! Please give me advice!!

If you can't attend the shower and the MOH is shooting down all your ideas.  I would just give it up.  Let her plan whatever she wants.  Is the MOH expecting you to pay for any of this?  

metsfan5

I will be there for the shower i just cant be there before to help plan but the day before. Yes we are in charge for paying for the decoration and things like that.

OliveOilsMom

You need to ask the MOH that you need to know what your money is going towards. She is not just getting a blank check from you with no input.  Or just tell her that since your input is not being considered, you will not be contributing.  Just because you aren't local to the shower doesn't mean you can't help out with the planning.

JMalettas

 If you're going to be there, and are contributing to the cost of the shower, then you should most definitely have a say with ideas and all of that too! Maybe try contacting the MOH one last time, and remind her that you are also paying for this event, and should have a say & be able to contribute your ideas as well. If she's totally shutting you down, and you know the bride's mom is also helping, then maybe give her a shout as a planB. I wouldn't completely throw the MOH under the bus, but maybe just mention you are having difficulty getting any of your ideas out there, & if she has any thoughts as to what you should/could do. I agree with you though, don't go to the bride. My BMs basically had the exact same issues amongst each other, while planning my shower.  All I did was play mediator between them throughout the whole process, and it was super stressful and annoying! I definitely get how this would be totally frustrating on your end, but we are all supposed to be adults, and there should be no reason to involve the bride in the shower. Especially over who is doing what, and who won't share the crayons! :P

 Good luck to you! Hopefully you won't have to resort to talking to the MOTB, and can resolve this with the MOH.

 *J