Location Wording on Invite - Location may change depending on RSVP's

birdiechic

Hi there,

I am new to the forum, so thanking you in advance for any help you can provide!

I’m having a destination wedding next December on a beach in Hawaii. I would like to send my invites out ASAP, but I’m having a bit of trouble with the wording of the location, as it will be one of two locations.

Here is the dilemma:  I have the permit for my preferred beach location, but I now realize that it will only allow 20 people max.  My wedding planner says I could push it to 25 without any problems, but if I get into the high twenties, I need to have another location.   I didn’t think keeping it under 25 guests would be a problem, but then both my fiancé and my parents have more people they want to invite than originally expected, so invites will be going to 31-33 people.  I don’t anticipate they will all attend, but I need to have a back up location to accommodate them all… just in case.  I am in the process of getting the second beach permit (not confirmed yet), which will allow more, even though I doubt I would need it.

The issue is that I need to have the RSVP’s back in order to know which location will accommodate the numbers.  Should I just gamble and put my preferred location?  It will be a 50/50 chance it’s right… and my gut tells me the preferred location will work, but there is that small chance it won’t….

If  I do word it with the exact location unknown… how can I word it so people know it’s a beach wedding in Kona, but the location will be confirmed later?  I want people to be able to start their trip planning if they intend to come. 

I will have a website for updates.

Thanks again!

huskypuppy14

It's way too early to send invites. Why don't you send save the dates now, and then think about the location. Also, never invite more people than yor venue can hold. Why don't you just go with the second beach location?

CMGragain

Your invitations should go out eight weeks before the wedding.  Now is the time to send out Save the Dates.  You will probably get some word of mouth feedback from the people who receive them due to the expense of traveling to a destination wedding.  You do not have to be specific about location on Save the Dates (STDs).  Just the date and general location will do so that people can arrange their air flights.
Everyone who gets an STD must also get an invitation, but you will probably have enough information before you send them to determine your exact location.

theartistformerlyknownas

Since the guest list is so small, would you be able to speak to them all and determine whether or not they'll be making the trip before the invitations go out? Otherwise I'd say you should just go to the second beach. You should plan as if everyone you're inviting will be there. 

I think it could be a super awkward conversation if someone asked you why the location wasn't listed, and upon hearing your answer got the impression that you hoped some people wouldn't come so you could get your "preferred" location. 

[Deleted User]

What about sending out the initial invites with the location for the smaller number. If you get enough Yes RSVP to have to change locations, you can always contact the guests either in writing or phone call & let them know that the location of the ceremony has been changed to xxx location. You don't have to tell them why & if they ask just tell them that something came up with that location and it isn't going work so you found a different location that will work. A good guest shouldn't ask for any further details. This way if you only get 25 or less people, you don't have to confuse the guest on where to go.

Now the way around any of that is if your guests are all staying at the same hotel, you can invite them to a beach side ceremony in whatever location & then rent a shuttle bus that can take all of your guests from the hotel to the wedding location for you. If you are providing the transportation to the cermony, it won't make a difference if they don't have the exact address of the ceremony.

princessleia22

I would send out save the dates now.  Then send formal invites a couple months before wedding.

A lot of people really won't know if they will go or not this far out anyway.  After you send STD's, just talk to everyone to see where they stand and whether they plan to go or not.

Or, another option is what I did.  Yes, I know it's probably not etiquette approved, but it worked for our purpose.  I wanted just some sort of estimate of attendance about a year in advance for our destination wedding.  So, along with my STD's I sent a "Preliminary RSVP" with options of "yes", "no" or "not sure yet".  We invited about 80 people, knowing that some definitely couldn't come (from previous discussions with them), and hoping actually attendance would be under 50 (but we were prepared to host 80 if they all came).  But, I wanted to at least narrow it down some if possible to a ballpark estimate. We only got about 1/2 of the Prelim. RSVP's back.  And, no, I didn't chase down responses from people that didn't respond.  I figured that since it isn't a final RSVP, it would be rude to hound people about their plans a year away. But, between the returned Prelim. RSVP's and conversations with people, we were able to determine that our attendance will be 30-40 people.  We still have a few people that are unsure if they will go or not (4 month until wedding).  We have had people say yes or no, but have already changed their mind.  But we have a much closer idea of what to expect and know that I really only need items/favors for 30-50 people, instead of 80.  But, all 80 people will still be getting final invites, even if they have already told us they can't go (they got STD, so they need invite).  And we are able to host additional people if some of those people change their mind and decide to go, which is always a possibility.