African American Weddings

Line Sisters, all or nothing?

I have 27 LSs. I love them all but we dont all talk on a regular bases outside of sorority get togethers, baby showers, home coming, stuff like that. We are thinking about cutting our guestlist basically in half to have something more intimate which means that I would only invite the 5 or 6 LSs that I see and talk to often. I dont want to create any hard feelings. One of my LSs said I should either invite them all or none of them. What do you ladies that are Greek think about this?

Re: Line Sisters, all or nothing?

  • Hum, thats a really really tough situation. Some of your LSs will have hard feelings about it. Even the ones that probably wouldnt be able to attend will feel some type of way about not being invited. Realistically, even though you love your whole line, you naturally have a closer bond with a select few. I think that happens with every line, especially big lines.

    Although part of me feels you should invite the 5 or 6 you're close with, the other part of me thinks that it may go over better if you just say that you & future hubby decided to do very intimate and wouldn't be able to invite the whole line.

    I think for me, I would probably invite the ones I could. I think your LSs will still love you enough to understand even if they are a little bitter at 1st.Thats a day that you want to share with the people you really love and to not be able to have any of your sorors there might leave you regretful. I would probably find a way to address it before they find out though. It's better to let them know upfront than to have people whispering about it lol.

    It'll work out :)

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  • Thanks @ladycane015 Its a tough situation. I hate hurting feelings. 
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
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    The guest list is always tough with small weddings and it does create more chance for hurt feelings.  If you are really close to those 5 or 6, to the point that you would be devastated that they weren't at your wedding, I would say to invite them. If you can exclude them and still be happy with your wedding, them consider excluding them. If you do invite them, if anyone asks why they weren't invited, just tell them that you are having a very small wedding and, although you would have loved to invite everyone if you could, you had to limit the guest list.  No other explanation is needed. Most people are understanding of that.

    For my destination wedding, we invited about 50 people.  I have a pretty large extended family. I have a couple of cousins that it would have been nice to invite, but I certainly didn't want to invite all of my cousins (about 20 cousins + significant others + kids).  I decided that, even though I wanted a few of them there, it wouldn't destroy my day if they weren't there.  So I didn't invite any of them.  If I were close enough to them that I would have really regretted them not being there, I would have gone ahead and invited just the ones I wanted there. 

    So, for the few you would like to have there, you need to decide if it is really important to you to have them there. If you will regret them not attending, invite them, even if there is a chance others are hurt.  Honestly, people really shouldn't be hurt by not getting invited.  I'm sure they realize that you are closer to some girls than others, that's just natural.  They know if they talk to you on a daily basis or not. Not everyone thinks that logically though.  If you can get married without those girls there, without regretting it, then maybe you should leave them all out.

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  • you cant avoid hurt feelings 
    the wedding is about your and your fiance 
    invite who you can 
    raeah219 said:
    Thanks @ladycane015 Its a tough situation. I hate hurting feelings. 
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  • I would invite who you want there. You can let the other LS's that you are cutting your guest list and had to make this tough decision. If they love you, they will be hurt, but they will understand. If it matters that much maybe you can plan a gathering of just you and your line to celebrate this momentous occasion.
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  • I would also invite who you want to. There are only 7 of us on our line and I am only inviting 2. We are having a small intimate wedding with mostly family and I don't really talk to the others that much so I figure they will just have to understand. Do what makes you happy but don't invite anyone out of obligation.

    tirathemrs
  • I'm tardy to the party, but will comment any way. I have 18 LSs and am inviting about half. I have a special place in my heart for all 18, but we have a 200 person limit and with family, friends and +1s, there just isn't room to invite folks I only see at Homecoming. My front is getting married a month after me - I'm not invited to hers and she's not invited to mine. My feelings aren't hurt and I'm sure hers aren't either. My rationale has been, if you can't call FI by name or out of a line-up, you will be ok not being invited to the wedding. Some feelings may be hurt. I know it sounds bad, but if people I see once a year are mad, it won't really affect my (or their) daily lives, cause we don't speak that often.
    tirathemrs[Deleted User]
  • I agree with Destined04 I have 9 sands/LS's and I know exactly what you mean about the worry of hurt feelings. I'm actually close with about 3 of them. I think as you age in greek life though you begin to realize and accept the nature of the relationships. I crossed in Spring 05 so by the time I get married (7/17/05) we will be ten. Because its been ten years I think we're at the point where we accept that some of us are friends and some of us are just sands. They know I have their back and that I would be there for them if they need me, but we are not all going to have an equally close relationship. and thats A ok. So I guess my point is even if there feelings are hurt, eventually they will heal. I promise Sister Greek!
  • i know this is extra late but if it helps my husband has 9LB'S then it goes into sands and sons and we couldnt invite all of them.. so we invited all the Lb's and one was in the wedding party .. I know that one of the lb's was kind of hurt because he wasnt selected but he did get to give a speech and it was beautiful..

    Daisypath - (PNE7)
  • Chiming in...I'm not inviting all my LSes.  We are over 10 in the Greek world.  I am inviting about half of my line and then some of my neos who I am close to. 
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