Cake vs Dessert

belletire89

Hey guys!

I'm in the beginning stages of planning my wedding, and honestly, I don't know a whole lot (but I'm definitely learning!). 

One of my big confusions lie in the cake! Somewhere I read that you can make a small cake for budget reasons, and then just have a flat cake in the back to be served to guests.

But what if you provide desserts, like sundaes or cookies or whatever? Is it still "right" to have a cake?

What I was thinking was get a pretty small, two tiered cake just for my fiance and I for cutting and saving, and then have a dessert table for the guests.
Would that be okay?

Thanks!

Artemischief

I say that's fine...IF you cut the cake in private after the reception. If I went to a wedding that did that I would constantly be wondering when I would get my piece of cake since it had been cut. You don't have to have fancy cake, but if you are having cake, guests should be having cake. You wouldn't go to a birthday party and just watch the birthday girl/boy have cake, they would share.

hikebikebemerry

A general rule is to not serve your guests something different than what you are having.

So, if you guys love pie, you could slice a pie.  

But I agree with @artemischief- if you cut the cake, but didn't serve it, you run the risk of confusing guests. 

phira

I think that this is one of those instances where if a tradition doesn't work for you, it's probably going to make you feel a lot more comfortable to just forgo it altogether rather than try to do it for tradition's sake.

Specifically, the point of the cake-cutting is that the guest of honor at a party usually cuts their own cake, or at least the first piece. So at a wedding, the newlywed couple cuts their cake because they're the honorees.

But this is all pointless if you aren't serving cake.

@Artemischief's example is a good one because you absolutely wouldn't have a birthday party where the birthday person cuts a piece of cake ... and then the cake goes away and something else is served instead.

chibiyui

If you cut cake at your reception, you must serve cake.

If you don't want cake, forgo the cutting.

jessicabessica

If you want to have cake cutting and a dessert table, why not have slices of cake on the dessert table along with whatever else you want?  You can have the cake be slices of sheet cakes or a big one that you cut.  

SP29

I agree with "don't serve your guests something different than you get".

I think it is OK to cut a small cake in front of the guests, then serve the guests a piece of sheet cake- as long as it is the same cake (ie. both are lemon with strawberry filling and butter cream icing). 

However, if you are not interested in cake, then there is no reason why you and FI need to cut a cake- you could cut a cupcake, a pie, a tart, etc...

DH and I thought of a few options for our wedding dessert. I considered purchasing a few different single layer cakes from a bakery and putting them out on different sized stands, and letting guests choose the piece they wanted. I also considered doing the same, but with different flavours of pie. In both cases, DH and I would cut a piece of one of the cakes/pies. (We ended up doing cupcakes).

I have also seen pictures on pinterest (of course! :P) of a cupcake stand, but with mini pies or tarts arranged on them as the dessert. 

You could also do a table of various desserts- no reason why you and FI couldn't cut a puff pastry in half and feed that to each other! 

Mmm...pastry...

clg1213

I think there can be big savings in doing the cake cutting with a small "wedding-style" cake but using a more basic sheet cake (even from a decent grocery store!) to serve.  The sheet cake is MUCH cheaper so if you have more guests than the "pretty" cake would feed, this save $$ (more if it is a bigger wedding).  

I've heard some even make a mostly fake cutting cake (i.e. layers of styrofoam) with one real layer the couple cuts and then serving the sheet cake.

bethsmiles

Yeah, you really should serve your guests the same thing you are getting.

At the last wedding I went to when it was time to cut the cake the MOG announced that the cake in the front that the bride and groom were cutting was just for family and the bridal party and then pointed to a cake in the back and said that one was for rest of the guests. It was really off-putting.

Maggie0829

I would be upset if you cut a cake at your reception and then didn't serve it.  I love cake so I would want a slice even if you had other desserts available.  Hello cake and ice cream is like peanut butter and jelly, they just go together!

But if you don't want to serve cake then don't have a cake at all.

TeddiD34

It's totally acceptable to just have dessert with your meal. You don't HAVE to have a wedding cake (I've been to a few weddings like this, and they are still married at the end of the day)!

climbingsingle

Agree with PPs on serving your guests the same thing you're having. 

We're skipping the cake cutting and have a dessert table with cookies, cheesecake and layer cakes. No traditional wedding cake for us. 

s-aries8990

If you cut a cake, that cake type should be available to your guests.

I'd suggest bringing out the cake and other desserts together in maybe a buffet style?

wrigleyville

You can skip the cake if you want. My MOH had cheesecake at her wedding, so they just cut into one of the cheesecakes and then fed each other with a fork. We had cupcakes instead of cake, so we just fed each other a mini-cupcake.

artbyallie

If you're eating cake, your guests need to get cake too.

AddieCake

If I saw you cutting cake and I got none........well, I just don't even have words for that!

mysticl

clg1213 said:

I think there can be big savings in doing the cake cutting with a small "wedding-style" cake but using a more basic sheet cake (even from a decent grocery store!) to serve.  The sheet cake is MUCH cheaper so if you have more guests than the "pretty" cake would feed, this save $$ (more if it is a bigger wedding).  

I've heard some even make a mostly fake cutting cake (i.e. layers of styrofoam) with one real layer the couple cuts and then serving the sheet cake.

As long as the wedding style cake is also from the grocery store.  

We did the mostly fake cake.  The top two layers were fake and the bottom layer was cut and served as well as small sheet cake of the same flavor.  This initial order was for less people than were invited to our wedding.  Then once the RSVPs were back we could order a second sheet cake to make up the difference.  We ended up not needing to place an additional order and took cake home with us.   When we were cleaning up after the wedding my SIL was trying to get us to take the top layer home for our first anniversary (no one could tell it was fake).  We just froze some of the left over cake for that purpose but ended up eating it early because we moved to a new state a month before our anniversary. 

Jen4948

If you cut and serve yourselves any type of dessert, whether or not it's a cake, you must serve the same type of dessert to your guests.  It is not okay to cut and serve yourselves a small cake in the guests' presence, but then serve no cake to your guests.

That said, you can serve sheet cakes or cupcakes to your guests if they are of the same type and quality as the cake you cut.  You can also serve other desserts to your guests.