Father Daughter Dance before actual Ceremony...

apoyer

Hey ladies,

Wanted some input. I couldnt find anyone else who has done this before and I wanted to make sure Im not going too crazy here!
Im getting married in October of this year, ceremony will be outdoors, and there is a beautiful aisle that connects to a gazebo.

From the weddings I have attended, I never really liked the idea that the father and daughter dance was after the bride and groom dance, esp. since the father gave "is daughter away" already.

So I have been thinking to actually have my Dad and fiance stand at the gazebo and I'll walk down the aisle to the gazebo and have my father and daughter dance  and THEN my dad can give me away to my fiancee.. and then the Ceremony begins!!

Im getting married at Reflections at Butte in Tuscon AZ. If you google the pictures, that will kind of give you an idea of what Im envisioning..

I think hving my father-daughter dance will be more special.

Let me know what you ladies think. I wont take offense to anyone who thinks i've gone nuts! lol

MairePoppy

I'm glad you won't take offense. I think it's a nutty idea.

1. This is the 21st century. Men don't give their daughters to other men. The marriage ceremony is a contract between two consenting adults. You can skip the 'who gives this woman' part of the ceremony. Your father can escort you down the aisle as a sign of the the family's support of your marriage. For that matter, your mother and father can walk you, his mother and father can walk him. 

2. The bride and groom have the first dance to open the floor to the guests. The father/daughter, mother/son dances are just a nice nod to the relationship that the bride and groom have with their parents. 

HisGirlFriday13

Ditto @MairePoppy. The father-daughter dance is about honouring the relationship you have with your dad. That's why it comes AFTER the first dance.

It's not a statement of belonging, it's a statement of relationship. You won't stop being your dad's daughter just because you got married.

This is a really odd idea and as a guest, I would find it ridiculous.

banana468

As a guest, I'd want to walk up to the groom and say, "Sorry buddy. Too bad you're second place. "

theartistformerlyknownas

I would find it super strange to see you randomly start dancing with your dad at the altar. It's not like your dad will be whisked away after he "gives you away," never to see you again. There's nothing wrong with dancing with him after you're married - it's not like a first dance/last dance kind of thing. The reception is a party and has little to do with the rituals of the ceremony. Keep them separate.

phira

Not just all the stuff people have said already ... but dancing is part of the reception, not the ceremony. Having a father-daughter or mother-son (or father-son, mother-daughter, uncle-niece, aunt-nephew, whatever) dance is a way to honor your relationship with someone, not part of being "given away." Not only that, but the "parent dances" aren't even always ceremonial dances during the reception (like, if my partner weren't doing a ceremonial mother-son dance where there was a specific song played and everyone watched, it would not be weird for him to still dance with his mother at one point during the reception).

And, uh, as a guest, I'd just be like, "What are they doing?"

Simply Fated

Just because your father "gave you away" doesn't mean he can't dance with you anymore.
If anything, that's why the father daughter dance is so poignant to many people. It shows that he'll always be your father and you'll always be his daughter, regardless of any other relationship you have with another man.


Too be blunt... You're putting your own meanings behind these dances. The father daughter dance is JUST a dance. It's a moment for them to share. It has zilch to do with who you "belong to."