Attire vent

chibiyui

FI finally has an idea of what he wants to wear on our wedding day. Yay!

He wants to wear a morning coat, yay! Morning coats are hot!

But....he's told his groomsmen to wear navy blazers and stone pants

I love the boy, but he can't coordinate to save his life.

I'm sure this will look fine, and we probably won't display any pics of us with the whole wedding party anyway so it's really a tiny, minute thing. And the important thing is that FI feels good and comfortable on our wedding day.

I just wish our taste levels were on the same wavelength.

doeydo

The groomsmen will look like the above?  He won't change his mind and pick one matching colour for the GMs' pants and blazers?  

chibiyui

doeydo said:

The groomsmen will look like the above?  He won't change his mind and pick one matching colour for the GMs' pants and blazers?  

Yes, like the above.

FI decided his GM's attire a while ago, and at the time was feeling moody and didn't want to spend anymore money then necessary on the wedding. So he thought the navy blazer/stone pant combo would be good since he has it, and most of his GM's already have it. Before this FI was all about getting a custom suit made. Which I was fine with, I just told him he wasn't allowed to have a cape.



And his brother just confirmed a month ago for the outfit and bought a new blazer.

JCbride2015

Morning coats are hot, indeed.

Why can't his GM just rent morning coats?  Fi doesn't want that?  or did they already get their attire?

chibiyui

They already have their attire. I've mentioned renting to FI but he "refuses to rent".

phira

CMGragain

Tell your FI that the rule is that the groom and his groomsmen must all wear the same level of formality.  If he wears a morning coat, then THEY also wear a morning coat.  If he wears a blazer and khakis, then THEY also wear a blazer and khakis.  Either look is fine, but he can't have both.  He must choose.

jdluvr06

I get that your irritated now but I doubt you will notice the day of.

chibiyui

jdluvr06 said:

I get that your irritated now but I doubt you will notice the day of.

Thats what I'm figuring. FI wants to stand out from his groomsmen. And thinks since my BMs are wearing dresses completly different from my dress, it's okay for him to do the same . He feels that theres so much emphasis on the bride culturally with weddings that he's being left out, even though ke knows hes not in our wedding. He thinks his groomsmen having to match him makes him less special.

He can wear what he wants, I love him and I have wine.

jenna8984

chibiyui said:

I get that your irritated now but I doubt you will notice the day of.

Thats what I'm figuring. FI wants to stand out from his groomsmen. And thinks since my BMs are wearing dresses completly different from my dress, it's okay for him to do the same . He feels that theres so much emphasis on the bride culturally with weddings that he's being left out, even though ke knows hes not in our wedding. He thinks his groomsmen having to match him makes him less special. He can wear what he wants, I love him and I have wine.

I feel the same way. FI told me that he just wants to wear the pants, vest, shirt & tie with no jacket. I chose a fitted lace dress with straps because it fits my personality perfectly. He didn't dictate that I wear a strapless tulle ballgown, so I don't get to dictate that he wears a jacket. That's his call and I'm A-OK with that. And what you said before is true, most of the pics you get framed will be just you 2 or some with your parents, probably not really any of the whole bridal party.

cupcait927

chibiyui said:

I get that your irritated now but I doubt you will notice the day of.

Thats what I'm figuring. FI wants to stand out from his groomsmen. And thinks since my BMs are wearing dresses completly different from my dress, it's okay for him to do the same . He feels that theres so much emphasis on the bride culturally with weddings that he's being left out, even though ke knows hes not in our wedding. He thinks his groomsmen having to match him makes him less special. He can wear what he wants, I love him and I have wine.

And that's the best attitude to have about it FI doesn't think it's fair that I get to see him in his suit before the wedding but it's unavoidable since the poor thing is color blind and needs my help in picking out tie colors, suit color, etc. He hasn't really dictated much about the wedding and normally he doesn't care what he wears but for some reason, the suit he wears the day we get married is important to him. He really wants to wear a bright blue tie, which I'm not a fan of, but if that's what he wants then that's what he's going to wear.  Like you said, the pics you'll probably display will just be of the two of you so in the end, it doesn't really matter. It's one day and you both should be happy!

HisGirlFriday13

Have more wine. One always needs more wine. 

chibiyui

It's my day off today, so today is basically a wine and tiramisu day for me

SBmini

I hear you girl. This is how our conversation with the guys has gone.

Fiance to groomsman #1- we're debating between renting and buying.

Groomsman #1- well, I could use a new gray suit, so I don't mind buying

Groomsman #2- I already have a charcoal gray suit, so that works well.

Us to Groomsman #1- we're doing charcoal gray suits.

Groomsman #1 to my fiance- I don't want an interview suit. So I'm going to buy a lighter one. Can you ask Lauren (me) if that's OK?

Fiance- yeah, that's fine

Finance tells me, I freak out a little. Not just because the suit doesn't match, but because of his audacity to balk at instructions when HE was the one who urged us to buy!

Now my fiance wants a medium gray suit and I don't know what to do. Because I don't want Groomsman #2 to be the only one in charcoal. It's one thing if all the guys are in medium gray or all of them are in charcoal and FI either matches or alternates. It's another thing if everyone but one groomsman is in the same color. And of course, he's not dealing with it.

Oh, and he still hasn't informed his two other groomsmen what to wear. Seriously dude. You have one job!

chibiyui

SBmini said:

I hear you girl. This is how our conversation with the guys has gone.

Fiance to groomsman #1- we're debating between renting and buying.

Groomsman #1- well, I could use a new gray suit, so I don't mind buying

Groomsman #2- I already have a charcoal gray suit, so that works well.

Us to Groomsman #1- we're doing charcoal gray suits.

Groomsman #1 to my fiance- I don't want an interview suit. So I'm going to buy a lighter one. Can you ask Lauren (me) if that's OK?

Fiance- yeah, that's fine

Finance tells me, I freak out a little. Not just because the suit doesn't match, but because of his audacity to balk at instructions when HE was the one who urged us to buy!

Now my fiance wants a medium gray suit and I don't know what to do. Because I don't want Groomsman #2 to be the only one in charcoal. It's one thing if all the guys are in medium gray or all of them are in charcoal and FI either matches or alternates. It's another thing if everyone but one groomsman is in the same color. And of course, he's not dealing with it.

Oh, and he still hasn't informed his two other groomsmen what to wear. Seriously dude. You have one job!

grumbledore

SBmini said:

I hear you girl. This is how our conversation with the guys has gone.

Fiance to groomsman #1- we're debating between renting and buying.

Groomsman #1- well, I could use a new gray suit, so I don't mind buying

Groomsman #2- I already have a charcoal gray suit, so that works well.

Us to Groomsman #1- we're doing charcoal gray suits.

Groomsman #1 to my fiance- I don't want an interview suit. So I'm going to buy a lighter one. Can you ask Lauren (me) if that's OK?

Fiance- yeah, that's fine

Finance tells me, I freak out a little. Not just because the suit doesn't match, but because of his audacity to balk at instructions when HE was the one who urged us to buy!

Now my fiance wants a medium gray suit and I don't know what to do. Because I don't want Groomsman #2 to be the only one in charcoal. It's one thing if all the guys are in medium gray or all of them are in charcoal and FI either matches or alternates. It's another thing if everyone but one groomsman is in the same color. And of course, he's not dealing with it.

Oh, and he still hasn't informed his two other groomsmen what to wear. Seriously dude. You have one job!

This sounds like such a non-issue to me.  I don't think them being in different color gray suits is going to be as big a deal as it might feel like right now.  Breathe.

SBmini

grumbledore said:

SBmini said:

I hear you girl. This is how our conversation with the guys has gone.

Fiance to groomsman #1- we're debating between renting and buying.

Groomsman #1- well, I could use a new gray suit, so I don't mind buying

Groomsman #2- I already have a charcoal gray suit, so that works well.

Us to Groomsman #1- we're doing charcoal gray suits.

Groomsman #1 to my fiance- I don't want an interview suit. So I'm going to buy a lighter one. Can you ask Lauren (me) if that's OK?

Fiance- yeah, that's fine

Finance tells me, I freak out a little. Not just because the suit doesn't match, but because of his audacity to balk at instructions when HE was the one who urged us to buy!

Now my fiance wants a medium gray suit and I don't know what to do. Because I don't want Groomsman #2 to be the only one in charcoal. It's one thing if all the guys are in medium gray or all of them are in charcoal and FI either matches or alternates. It's another thing if everyone but one groomsman is in the same color. And of course, he's not dealing with it.

Oh, and he still hasn't informed his two other groomsmen what to wear. Seriously dude. You have one job!

This sounds like such a non-issue to me.  I don't think them being in different color gray suits is going to be as big a deal as it might feel like right now.  Breathe.

There's a pretty significant difference between this:

and this:

I liken it to telling all the guys they are wearing black and one of them goes with dark gray. 

jdluvr06

chibiyui said:

I get that your irritated now but I doubt you will notice the day of.

Thats what I'm figuring. FI wants to stand out from his groomsmen. And thinks since my BMs are wearing dresses completly different from my dress, it's okay for him to do the same . He feels that theres so much emphasis on the bride culturally with weddings that he's being left out, even though ke knows hes not in our wedding. He thinks his groomsmen having to match him makes him less special. He can wear what he wants, I love him and I have wine.

Aww... I think that is kind of cute. You have the right attitude!

abbyj700

chibiyui said:

I get that your irritated now but I doubt you will notice the day of.

Thats what I'm figuring. FI wants to stand out from his groomsmen. And thinks since my BMs are wearing dresses completly different from my dress, it's okay for him to do the same . He feels that theres so much emphasis on the bride culturally with weddings that he's being left out, even though ke knows hes not in our wedding. He thinks his groomsmen having to match him makes him less special. He can wear what he wants, I love him and I have wine.

Happy to see other brides feel this way! My FI came to one bridal show with me. We all had had a few drinks...and then there was a fashion show. The pure excitement he had when one of the designers had their guys in hats and canes was so cute. I told him "honey, they are your groomsmen - you pick whatever you want!" Me and the ladies had a few laughs over drinks one night that he was outfitting pimps but they also saw how excited he was and know I love him a ton so that I meant - whatever he wants I'm good with. Luckily - he has since changed his mind. :-) 

jenna8984

@sbmini Sorry I am with you on that one. I'm not picky of what they wear (jacket, no jacket, dark grey, light grey) as long as they match. To me the suits are not quite like mix n match bridesmaid dresses. Good luck!

grumbledore

SBmini said:

grumbledore said:

SBmini said:

I hear you girl. This is how our conversation with the guys has gone.

Fiance to groomsman #1- we're debating between renting and buying.

Groomsman #1- well, I could use a new gray suit, so I don't mind buying

Groomsman #2- I already have a charcoal gray suit, so that works well.

Us to Groomsman #1- we're doing charcoal gray suits.

Groomsman #1 to my fiance- I don't want an interview suit. So I'm going to buy a lighter one. Can you ask Lauren (me) if that's OK?

Fiance- yeah, that's fine

Finance tells me, I freak out a little. Not just because the suit doesn't match, but because of his audacity to balk at instructions when HE was the one who urged us to buy!

Now my fiance wants a medium gray suit and I don't know what to do. Because I don't want Groomsman #2 to be the only one in charcoal. It's one thing if all the guys are in medium gray or all of them are in charcoal and FI either matches or alternates. It's another thing if everyone but one groomsman is in the same color. And of course, he's not dealing with it.

Oh, and he still hasn't informed his two other groomsmen what to wear. Seriously dude. You have one job!

This sounds like such a non-issue to me.  I don't think them being in different color gray suits is going to be as big a deal as it might feel like right now.  Breathe.

There's a pretty significant difference between this:

and this:

I liken it to telling all the guys they are wearing black and one of them goes with dark gray. 

I hear ya, I just don't think it matters.  If you do, then tell them exactly what you want them to wear.

SBmini

grumbledore said:

I hear ya, I just don't think it matters.  If you do, then tell them exactly what you want them to wear.

We did, we told him charcoal gray. But he decided that he didn't like charcoal gray because it was an "interview suit" color so he purchased medium gray instead. I think my fiance may ask him to return the suit.

chibiyui

chibiyui said:

I get that your irritated now but I doubt you will notice the day of.

Thats what I'm figuring. FI wants to stand out from his groomsmen. And thinks since my BMs are wearing dresses completly different from my dress, it's okay for him to do the same . He feels that theres so much emphasis on the bride culturally with weddings that he's being left out, even though ke knows hes not in our wedding. He thinks his groomsmen having to match him makes him less special. He can wear what he wants, I love him and I have wine.

Happy to see other brides feel this way! My FI came to one bridal show with me. We all had had a few drinks...and then there was a fashion show. The pure excitement he had when one of the designers had their guys in hats and canes was so cute. I told him "honey, they are your groomsmen - you pick whatever you want!" Me and the ladies had a few laughs over drinks one night that he was outfitting pimps but they also saw how excited he was and know I love him a ton so that I meant - whatever he wants I'm good with. Luckily - he has since changed his mind. :-) 

I can see FI wanting a cane and top hat. We originally were going to have a "hat theme" but then I realized how rude it was to dictate attire (Thanks TK ladies!) We were also going to originally be more overt in our steampunk theme. But that also just naturally got toned down a bit.