Flower Girls

Kimmy1018

Are any of you ladies planning on having young flower girls? If so, how are you incorporating them into the ceremony? My three nieces will be one,two & 18 months. I'm considering just having them be apart of the pictures or possibly putting them in a wagon down the aisle or having a bridesmaid hold there hands together to walk down. Any suggestions I appreciate! Thanks

Maggie0829

Kimmy1018 said:

Are any of you ladies planning on having young flower girls? If so, how are you incorporating them into the ceremony? My three nieces will be one,two & 18 months. I'm considering just having them be apart of the pictures or possibly putting them in a wagon down the aisle or having a bridesmaid hold there hands together to walk down. Any suggestions I appreciate! Thanks

I would just include them in photos and let their parents dress them however they wish.

Wagons can be dangerous, they can tip over or the little kids could get their fingers squished by the wheels.  So wagons are highly not recommended.  And honestly at that young of an age they have no clue what the hell is going on and would probably be happier just being with their parents or other family members.

ETA:  missed a very important word.

Kimmy1018

Thanks that's very true

mysticl

My son is 18 months.  He could not pull off being part of a wedding party.  I'm not even sure you would get good pictures out of him.  

AddieCake

I think those ages are too young. 

chibiyui

I think they are too young as well OP. My 3 year old niece is going to be our ring bearer, but even that is pushing it.

sarahufl

Between us, we have 7 nieces. His 4 nieces range in age from 4-8 and they will be the flower girls. Mine are 11 months old (2 of them) and 2.5 years old. The younger ones will have cute matching dresses for photos but won't be walking (or being walked) down the aisle. Their mothers are my bridesmaids and the girls will just be sitting in the pews with their fathers.

My dad got it in his head that a wagon full of babies would be too cute to pass up, so we are going to get a cute little wagon JUST for pictures. I don't really want them pulled around the church or reception in it because it just doesn't seem safe. It is, however, pretty tough to argue with the cuteness factor.

MrandMrsMongoose

My friend had a wagon with three one year olds going down the aisle during the ceremony. No babies were harmed in the process.  

Jen4948

Kimmy1018 said:

Are any of you ladies planning on having young flower girls? If so, how are you incorporating them into the ceremony? My three nieces will be one,two & 18 months. I'm considering just having them be apart of the pictures or possibly putting them in a wagon down the aisle or having a bridesmaid hold there hands together to walk down. Any suggestions I appreciate! Thanks

Your nieces are too young to participate as flower girls.  I think 3 is the absolute youngest a flower girl or ring bearer should be.

First, any child participating in the wedding needs to be able to get up and down the aisle on their own, with no wagons or adults holding their hands.  Second, they need to be old enough to have some idea of what they're being asked to do and why, and to be able to remember later that they were in someone's wedding.  If they can't do any of this, just take photos with them and let it go at that.

Jen4948

MrandMrsMongoose said:

My friend had a wagon with three one year olds going down the aisle during the ceremony. No babies were harmed in the process.  

Sorry, but I still believe it's a terrible idea to have babies in wagons at weddings for safety reasons, regardless of whether or not babies were harmed at any one specific wedding.

sarahufl

Jen4948 said:

MrandMrsMongoose said:

My friend had a wagon with three one year olds going down the aisle during the ceremony. No babies were harmed in the process.  

Sorry, but I still believe it's a terrible idea to have babies in wagons at weddings for safety reasons, regardless of whether or not babies were harmed at any one specific wedding.

I think it is great that the wedding you attended went well, but I think that babies cannot generally stay put well enough to SAFELY ride in a wagon. Especially not 3 of them together.

Maggie0829

This is what I think of every time someone talks about putting multiple babies in a wagon.

HisGirlFriday13

My 2.5-year-old nephew was one of our RBs, and he did fine. But we also rolled with the punches. The plan was for him and the other RB (DH's 8-year-old nephew) to walk together.

During the quasi-rehearsal, he walked with his mom (my SIL, a BM) and said, 'Walk with Mommy tomorrow?' We said sure, if that made him happy.

But during the getting-ready part, my nephew took a real liking to my MOH and as she got ready to go down the aisle, he put up his little hand and held hers and said, 'Walk with you, nice lady!' So they walked down the aisle together, and that was fine.

He was seated in the front pew with my parents and his parents, and he goes to Mass with my parents every week, so he was cool with the idea of Mass and sitting still. 

(He also has the habit of clapping and saying 'Yay God!' every time someone says 'Amen,' which is fine when he's in the choir loft with my mother the organist and my father during regular Mass. It was really adorable, during our wedding Mass, to hear this little voice pipe up, 'Yay God! Yay God!' whenever the priest said 'Amen.')

A lot of people think younger than 3 is too young; I disagree, but I'm one person and my experience was different than a lot of other people's. 

I do think the 1-year-old and 18-month-old are far too young to be involved in any meaningful way. The 2-year-old is dicey. 

Having them in photos is probably the best idea.

newenglandgal0802

FI and I have 8 nieces and nephews all together and they are so very important and special to us that we want them to be included in our big day. It just so happens to work out that we have 4 girls and 4 boys. The youngest will be 2 at the wedding and the oldest 8. The plan is to dress them in cute little outfits that we've already picked out and will be paying for and pair them up and send them down the aisle as a big joint ring bearer flower girl parade. NOW I personally think this is a know your crowd and environment situation. Our wedding is small mostly family and very close friends who know the kids and it's outside on a beach at a lake. Therefore my highest hopes for them is that they have fun and get to participate. I have no expectations of them to walk perfectly or understand fully what they are doing I just want them to be part of the WP because they are so important to us. Their parents will all be there some are in the wedding some aren't so if the kids need assistance there will be plenty of people to help them. Again I think it's a know your crowd situation. I know that no one at our wedding will be annoyed or disgruntled if it takes them a few minutes to get down the aisle and then sit with their parents. I know not everyone likes little kids at weddings but I personally feel weddings are about love and whats important to you so as long as you know what you're getting into and you have a back up plan and plenty of hands to assist the kids I personally see nothing wrong with it.

sarahufl

@HisGirlFriday13 Your nephew sounds ridiculously awesome.

HisGirlFriday13

@sarahufl -- Thanks! We're Catholic (you know, a denomination not usually known for applause and random 'amens') so we don't really know where he got this habit from, but we all now reinforce it for him.

When he goes up for communion, and the priest reaches out to bless him, nephew will usually put up his hand and say, 'High five! Yay baby Jesus!' and then allow the priest to make the Sign of the Cross on his forehead.

It cracks me up every time. 

sarahufl

HisGirlFriday13 said:

@sarahufl -- Thanks! We're Catholic (you know, a denomination not usually known for applause and random 'amens') so we don't really know where he got this habit from, but we all now reinforce it for him.

When he goes up for communion, and the priest reaches out to bless him, nephew will usually put up his hand and say, 'High five! Yay baby Jesus!' and then allow the priest to make the Sign of the Cross on his forehead.

It cracks me up every time. 

ugh, I can't. He just keeps sounding cooler and cooler. I looooooove kids that age so, so much. I think they are so funny and smart and I love how they think nothing of saying whatever comes to their minds. I bet your priest thinks he is adorable. This story is one of the ones where I question WHY anyone would not want blanketly want children at their weddings. I think they add so much fun and cuteness to the day.

Wouldn't dream of not having our nieces and nephews there.

HisGirlFriday13

I am pretty much convinced he's the coolest kid ever. But I'm also seriously biased.

The priest at our wedding (DH's and my regular priest, who hadn't met my nephew before) thought it was awesome, and actually high-fived him back, and say, 'Yay Jesus!' Nephew thought that was AWESOME.

At our reception, Nephew went around giving everyone stickers (we had made entertainment bags for the kids), including the priest, who had a giant yellow Big Bird sticker on his black shirt as he stood up to say grace.

I don't know why people don't want kids at weddings, but I freely acknowledge that this is a biased opinion based on how much I adore my nephew and what a fun kid he is. I'm also blessed with family and friends who raise their kids well and discipline them. 

I don't object to people saying they don't want kids there -- I don't understand it, but I don't think it's inherently wrong -- but I strongly object to saying kids can't be involved until X age. Nephew did a great job. He also still VIVIDLY remembers being our RB, and will randomly tell people, 'Auntie and Uncle got married. I carried box to Uncle.'

shagreen26

I am having young toddlers in my wedding. There will be 3 1yr olds simply because one is my son and my 2 nieces their mothers are also in my wedding. I just couldnt see having one of my kids not apart of my day and my others are especially since it is his father i am marrying. 

kmmssg

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I am pretty much convinced he's the coolest kid ever. But I'm also seriously biased.

The priest at our wedding (DH's and my regular priest, who hadn't met my nephew before) thought it was awesome, and actually high-fived him back, and say, 'Yay Jesus!' Nephew thought that was AWESOME.

At our reception, Nephew went around giving everyone stickers (we had made entertainment bags for the kids), including the priest, who had a giant yellow Big Bird sticker on his black shirt as he stood up to say grace.

I don't know why people don't want kids at weddings, but I freely acknowledge that this is a biased opinion based on how much I adore my nephew and what a fun kid he is. I'm also blessed with family and friends who raise their kids well and discipline them. 

I don't object to people saying they don't want kids there -- I don't understand it, but I don't think it's inherently wrong -- but I strongly object to saying kids can't be involved until X age. Nephew did a great job. He also still VIVIDLY remembers being our RB, and will randomly tell people, 'Auntie and Uncle got married. I carried box to Uncle.'

Can I come play with your nephew?  He sounds absolutely adorable!  I will bring toys and healthy snacks if you let me. 

HisGirlFriday13

Of course you can! I think he's pretty adorable, although again, I know he's biased. His favourite snack right now is yoghurt, with fruit on the bottom, but you have to let him stir it HIMSELF. 

kmmssg

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Of course you can! I think he's pretty adorable, although again, I know he's biased. His favourite snack right now is yoghurt, with fruit on the bottom, but you have to let him stir it HIMSELF. 

He can stir mine too!

HisGirlFriday13

kmmssg said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Of course you can! I think he's pretty adorable, although again, I know he's biased. His favourite snack right now is yoghurt, with fruit on the bottom, but you have to let him stir it HIMSELF. 

He can stir mine too!

Then you two could totally be BFFs. He wants to do things BY HIMSELF right now. He's very big on that. 'Stir yoghurt myself!' 'Put coat on myself!' 'Dress myself.' 'Build trains myself!'

Of course, when it's time to clean up the toys, it's 'Auntie help me? Auntie help with toys?'

wandajune6

My 2.5 year old niece and FI's 5 year old niece will be walking together. They will have pomanders on ribbons and both need to get down the aisle to their moms.

My niece is a little flighty while his niece is very focused and determined. Our hope is for them to hold hands and walk down together (our sisters have this image of his tall, skinny Mexican niece with beautiful long ringlets dragging my niece with (minimal and crazy) red hair down the aisle).

Realistically, his niece will make it to the alter while mine will climb onto her dad or gramma's lap. And we're ok with that!