Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

XP from Etiquette: Honoring grandparents?

We are finalizing our programs, and I have a few questions about honoring our grandparents that I'm struggling with.  

Only 1 of our 3 surviving grandmothers will be able to attend the ceremony, and we would like to list her in the ceremony under "Wedding Participants" to honor her.  My FI wants to have a small vase of flowers at the reception site with a note stating something to the effect of "In remembrance of XXX, XXX, and XXX."  The question I have, then, is how to honor the two grandmothers who are still with us, but will be unable to attend?  

I'm really open to any suggestions, but don't want to leave them out.  Does anyone have any ideas?  

(Edited the subject for clarity)

Re: XP from Etiquette: Honoring grandparents?

  • tcnobletcnoble member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2014
    Just trying to clarify... but you are doing a small vase of flowers in remembrance of the 3 grandmothers who are still alive? I'm not following that very well.

    So you will have 1 of 3 living grandmothers listed in the program (in attendance) and want to include the other 2 (living but not in attendance)? That's what you're looking for help with? with the flowers honoring OTHER deceased relatives...?

    ETA spelling
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  • Sorry for the confusion - 1) we want to honor those who have passed away, but 2) want to also honor those who are still alive but are unable to attend, without making it sound like they've passed just because they aren't there.

    After thinking about this more, I am considering listing all three living grandmothers in the program (even though two will not be able to attend), with a short note in the program and/or a very small/understated vase of flowers "for those who could not be with us" at the reception. Does that make better sense?  Sorry...
  • This is your wedding.  It is not a time for sadness.  I don't think that memorials are a good idea at a wedding.  Anything you do should be private, so your guests are not distressed at your family loss.
    Buy your grandmother a nice corsage.
  • And building on @CMGragain, for the grandmas that are alive but can't attend, sending them a bouquet in your wedding colors to be delivered on your wedding day will probably mean a lot more to them than a note in a program. Your program is supposed to let people know what's happening in the ceremony, not provide a family tree.
  • OK - thanks all for the suggestions. 
  • Maybe a larger vase with in honor of, but then you should do the same for your grandmother who is there. Or instead of calling it Wedding Participants, why not say Honored Family (or something like that) then you could list their names as well. I also really love the idea of having boquets delivered to their house on your wedding day.
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  • I put "Grandmother of the Bride" and listed her name in the program even though she won't be able to attend.
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