Gift Question...

happymellow

Okay, so I'm not sure if this is where this belongs, but here goes.  For my shower, I received two of the same item.  The registry wasn't updated fast enough and two different people got me the same thing.  I can return it, but I've told my FI that we can't use things until after the wedding.  I have a gift receipt and can exchange it for something we can really use on the honeymoon.  Since we leave for our honeymoon the day after our wedding, is it okay to return the item now and get the other thing, or should I wait until after the wedding to even exchange it?  FI says doesn't exchanging it count as "using it?" Thank you in advance for any help!

Inkdancer

Exchanging does not count as using the item. Feel free to swap it for something else on your registry, or something useful. It depends on what you mean by "something we'll use on our honeymoon"--a beach blanket is probably acceptable, but lingerie is probably not!

Just don't tell either party that you exchanged their gift. If they compare notes and find out they got you the same thing, they'll probably assume one was returned, but don't talk about it.

Mitch617

I don't think you have to wait til after the wedding to exchange it, but what are you trying to exchange it for that you'd use on the honeymoon? I'd feel a little guilty exchanging it for something that is more honeymoon related if it wasn't already on the wedding registry. If that thing is on the registry, just go for it but otherwise I would swap it for something of equal value on the registry (and make sure it update!)

happymellow

They were both at the shower...and grumbled over the registry not updating.  We were hoping to use a camera.  Neither one of us has a decent camera.  Is that okay?

Edit:  We did register for the camera.

Mitch617

I think it's fine. If they both saw the duplicate at the shower they must know you are going to exchange one of these, right? They didn't try to take it back and exchange it for you and choose something else on their own? If they know your intention is to swap it for another registry item, I'd say choose whatever registry item you want.

sofakingmad

Inkdancer said:

Exchanging does not count as using the item. Feel free to swap it for something else on your registry, or something useful. It depends on what you mean by "something we'll use on our honeymoon"--a beach blanket is probably acceptable, but lingerie is probably not!

Just don't tell either party that you exchanged their gift. If they compare notes and find out they got you the same thing, they'll probably assume one was returned, but don't talk about it.

Why not?  

huskypuppy14

I'm of the opinion that once a gift is given, it is up to the recipient to do what they please with it, as long as a nice thank you note is sent in a timely manner.  You thank the giver, and then if you want to exchange it, throw it away, put it in your closet and never ever use it, that is up to you. Now I know that not everyone feels this way, and I only feel this way within reason. If you registered for something, you shouldn't exchange it for cash (most places won't let you anyway). But exchanging it for another item on your registry is fine.  FTR I rarely ever exchange anything someone gives me other than to get a different size if it's clothing.

Now at your shower, did the women realize they bought the same item, when you opened a duplicate. I know a similar thing happened at a baby shower I went to. I bought the same item as someone else, and I told the MTB that I hope she could exchange it for something else.

People want to get you things you need, and most people don't usually need 2 toasters (or whatever the item may be.)

Inkdancer

DragonBlood13 said:

Inkdancer said:

Exchanging does not count as using the item. Feel free to swap it for something else on your registry, or something useful. It depends on what you mean by "something we'll use on our honeymoon"--a beach blanket is probably acceptable, but lingerie is probably not!

Just don't tell either party that you exchanged their gift. If they compare notes and find out they got you the same thing, they'll probably assume one was returned, but don't talk about it.

Why not?  

I don't know about you but I shudder at the idea that the blender my Aunt Martha got me was swapped for a sexy corset... so it's like Aunt Martha bought me a sexy corset. Blegh!

mysticl

Inkdancer said:

DragonBlood13 said:

Inkdancer said:

Exchanging does not count as using the item. Feel free to swap it for something else on your registry, or something useful. It depends on what you mean by "something we'll use on our honeymoon"--a beach blanket is probably acceptable, but lingerie is probably not!

Just don't tell either party that you exchanged their gift. If they compare notes and find out they got you the same thing, they'll probably assume one was returned, but don't talk about it.

Why not?  

I don't know about you but I shudder at the idea that the blender my Aunt Martha got me was swapped for a sexy corset... so it's like Aunt Martha bought me a sexy corset. Blegh!

And if for some reason the wedding doesn't happen you are supposed to return any gifts you received so that the giver can use it themselves, get their money back (possibly), or exchange it for something they want.  That is not really going to work if it's lingerie.

sofakingmad

mysticl said:

Inkdancer said:

DragonBlood13 said:

Inkdancer said:

Exchanging does not count as using the item. Feel free to swap it for something else on your registry, or something useful. It depends on what you mean by "something we'll use on our honeymoon"--a beach blanket is probably acceptable, but lingerie is probably not!

Just don't tell either party that you exchanged their gift. If they compare notes and find out they got you the same thing, they'll probably assume one was returned, but don't talk about it.

Why not?  

I don't know about you but I shudder at the idea that the blender my Aunt Martha got me was swapped for a sexy corset... so it's like Aunt Martha bought me a sexy corset. Blegh!

And if for some reason the wedding doesn't happen you are supposed to return any gifts you received so that the giver can use it themselves, get their money back (possibly), or exchange it for something they want.  That is not really going to work if it's lingerie.

You also won't be able to give them a blanket back, when they originally bought you a blender.  So your logic is flawed.

Inkdancer

DragonBlood13 said:

mysticl said:

Inkdancer said:

DragonBlood13 said:

Inkdancer said:

Exchanging does not count as using the item. Feel free to swap it for something else on your registry, or something useful. It depends on what you mean by "something we'll use on our honeymoon"--a beach blanket is probably acceptable, but lingerie is probably not!

Just don't tell either party that you exchanged their gift. If they compare notes and find out they got you the same thing, they'll probably assume one was returned, but don't talk about it.

Why not?  

I don't know about you but I shudder at the idea that the blender my Aunt Martha got me was swapped for a sexy corset... so it's like Aunt Martha bought me a sexy corset. Blegh!

And if for some reason the wedding doesn't happen you are supposed to return any gifts you received so that the giver can use it themselves, get their money back (possibly), or exchange it for something they want.  That is not really going to work if it's lingerie.

You also won't be able to give them a blanket back, when they originally bought you a blender.  So your logic is flawed.

Okay, I hadn't thought about it that way. So yeah, I guess you do have to wait to exchange it!

sofakingmad

Inkdancer said:

DragonBlood13 said:

mysticl said:

Inkdancer said:

DragonBlood13 said:

Inkdancer said:

Exchanging does not count as using the item. Feel free to swap it for something else on your registry, or something useful. It depends on what you mean by "something we'll use on our honeymoon"--a beach blanket is probably acceptable, but lingerie is probably not!

Just don't tell either party that you exchanged their gift. If they compare notes and find out they got you the same thing, they'll probably assume one was returned, but don't talk about it.

Why not?  

I don't know about you but I shudder at the idea that the blender my Aunt Martha got me was swapped for a sexy corset... so it's like Aunt Martha bought me a sexy corset. Blegh!

And if for some reason the wedding doesn't happen you are supposed to return any gifts you received so that the giver can use it themselves, get their money back (possibly), or exchange it for something they want.  That is not really going to work if it's lingerie.

You also won't be able to give them a blanket back, when they originally bought you a blender.  So your logic is flawed.

Okay, I hadn't thought about it that way. So yeah, I guess you do have to wait to exchange it!

Or if the wedding is called off, you just buy them the blender that they originally bought you.  

mysticl

DragonBlood13 said:

mysticl said:

Inkdancer said:

DragonBlood13 said:

Inkdancer said:

Exchanging does not count as using the item. Feel free to swap it for something else on your registry, or something useful. It depends on what you mean by "something we'll use on our honeymoon"--a beach blanket is probably acceptable, but lingerie is probably not!

Just don't tell either party that you exchanged their gift. If they compare notes and find out they got you the same thing, they'll probably assume one was returned, but don't talk about it.

Why not?  

I don't know about you but I shudder at the idea that the blender my Aunt Martha got me was swapped for a sexy corset... so it's like Aunt Martha bought me a sexy corset. Blegh!

And if for some reason the wedding doesn't happen you are supposed to return any gifts you received so that the giver can use it themselves, get their money back (possibly), or exchange it for something they want.  That is not really going to work if it's lingerie.

You also won't be able to give them a blanket back, when they originally bought you a blender.  So your logic is flawed.

Yes, you could return a blanket to them with the receipt explaining that you had exchanged it because a duplicate item was received.  Especially in a situation like OP's where the giver is aware that a duplicate was received and probably assumes that one of them was exchanged.  They could then keep the blanket or return it.  However, returning some sexy little number from the lingerie department could be embarrassing to both parties, it is highly unlikely the giver would want to keep it, and returning it to the store could be problematic.  

sofakingmad

@mysticl

In the event that this were to happen to the OP, I think she would be smart enough to not try to hand over lingerie to Aunt Sally.

I think she would take the loss and go buy back the item in question and then return that to Aunt Sally, because Aunt Sally doesn't know if you returned her duplicate item or the other person's duplicate item.

photokitty

I don't know Aunt Sally might look hot in that lingerie and Uncle Hank might be thanking you for the misstep!! bowchicawowow

happymellow

hahaha!  Thank you so much for the entertaining responses, and @DragonBlood, you're right about if something happens and I have to return it to the original gifter, it would make things weird if I exchange it--which is why I questioned it to begin with.  Hmmm.  Well, hopefully, since there are only two weeks left, we're pretty locked in to the wedding.  I think I'll exchange it, but be fully prepared to get the original gift again just in case something happens.  Thank you all for weighing in!

hikebikebemerry

I was just at a shower where multiple people got the bride lingerie.

Side note- best shower gift ever.. Giving someone Joy of Cooking and  The Joy of Sex.  10 points for humor.