Registry and Gift Forum

When to open gifts?

My fiance and I are hosting a post-wedding brunch for our immediate and extended families. We are not nuts about opening gifts in front of people. I don't like the idea of people sitting around watching us open our blender and place settings. My mom and FMIL say it is expected. There is really no other time to open in front of gift givers, as most are catching plans within an hour of the brunch ending. Is it traditional to open gifts at this sort of event? Is it "expected?"

Re: When to open gifts?

  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2014
    Open your gifts in the privacy of your own home after all the wedding events are done. A post- wedding brunch isn't a shower, so there is no reason to open gifts in front of people. What are you going to do hold up the $100 check from Aunt Sally so guests can Ohh and Ahh? It was be super awkward. 

    ETA: we had a post wedding brunch. I used this time to catch up with friends and family who I didnt get to spend much time with on the wedding day. 
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  • ei34ei34 member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I've attended several post-wedding brunches and I've never once seen the couple open gifts. In my experience the brunch is to chat with other guests, not watch a gift opening. My hubby and I had a post-wedding brunch but just hung out with our guests...we saved the gift (well, in our case, envelope) opening for that evening back home.
    You could tell your mom and MIL that you'd rather spend the time catching up with guests than opening gifts.
    doeydo
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2014
    I have never heard of the bride and groom opening wedding gifts with an audience, other than here on TK.  I have NO idea why anyone would EXPECT to participate in such an "event".  I honestly don't think any explanation or excuse is necessary other than "we don't care to do that".  If pressed, I would simply say that you are looking forward to opening gifts privately, at your convenience, as husband and wife.

    ETA......I always wonder how/why parents make these demands.  How is it any of their business?  
    doeydo
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I have been to a few next morning brunches and the B&G opened their gifts at all of them. I just thought that was what they were for because that is all I've seen. 
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  • I'm having a brunch too, and i've been to several brunches, and i've never witnessed gift-opening at these events.  They're typically just for spending time with and saying goodbye to your guests.  I would never open my wedding gifts in front of anyone other than my FI.  Shower gifts are expected to be opened at the shower, but those are usually physical gifts...if you expect mostly money at the wedding, it would be super awkward to open that in front of people.

     

    My FSIL and FBIL opened their wedding gifts in front of FMIL, FFIL, FI, and me after their wedding (in FSIL's parent's home) and i thought THAT was awkward even though it was only immediate family.  And especially because FMIL was writing down how much her various friends gave them so that she could reciprocate.  She will not be receiving that information about our gifts.

    doeydo
  • The only thing our families asked us about is did we have arrangments for the gifts/envelopes on who would handle that at the end of the night. And since we were leaving Monday morning early for our Honeymoon my mom asked me if I wanted her to lock up any checks we received in her saftey box she has at home until we got back. Luckily for us our bank is open on sundays so we went right away & deposited everything.

    We went home the night of our wedding since we weren't leaving until two days later and then we didn't have to deal with a dog sitter. We got changed, sat in bed, hubby opened cards/presents and I put the info on the spreadsheet I had going so that way I had my sheet ready to go to write thank you cards when we got back.

  • AprilH81AprilH81 Columbus, OH member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers

    My MIL hinted a few times if we were going to have the parents over to our house after the wedding to see the gifts (we had an morning ceremony with a lunch reception so it was possible).  We always said we weren't sure what we were doing after the wedding in an attempt to bean-dip her. 

    She ended up house sitting for us while we were on our honeymoon so we left the few physical gifts we received out on the coffee table so she could "see" what we got, but we put the cash/giftcards away.

    To the OP, please don't open up the gifts at the brunch.  Immediate family is one thing but any more than that it gets awkward fast.

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  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    delujm0 said:

    I'm having a brunch too, and i've been to several brunches, and i've never witnessed gift-opening at these events.  They're typically just for spending time with and saying goodbye to your guests.  I would never open my wedding gifts in front of anyone other than my FI.  Shower gifts are expected to be opened at the shower, but those are usually physical gifts...if you expect mostly money at the wedding, it would be super awkward to open that in front of people.

     

    My FSIL and FBIL opened their wedding gifts in front of FMIL, FFIL, FI, and me after their wedding (in FSIL's parent's home) and i thought THAT was awkward even though it was only immediate family.  And especially because FMIL was writing down how much her various friends gave them so that she could reciprocate.  She will not be receiving that information about our gifts.

    I have always wondered if that was the motive to a certain extent.  That is beyond rude, and again, none of anyone's business.
  • I have heard of this but I don't know of anyone that has actually done it. 

    If I recall correctly, I think someone may have asked me if we were doing the brunch/gifts thing and I said "I'm not expecting to get gifts so we may not even have anything to open."  I also pointed out that everyone was staying at the hotel and would likely be eating at the very nice free breakfast buffet.

    Sure enough, we only had 3 boxed gifts on our gift table.

    I like the idea of saying you would rather spend the brunch time talking with your guests. 

  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    It is "tradition" in my family. All of my older (think my parents generation) cousins did this, but we won't be doing it.  There is an unevenness of wealth and gift sizes/styles between parent's families. We will open them with parents later that night, away from all other guests. 

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  • Both my mother and FMIL insist that we open our gifts the next day with our parents/siblings, but have never implied inviting anyone else. Personally I don't understand it and I hate opening even birthday gifts in front of people, but clearly it's important to them and since it isn't imposing on any other guests I will humor them and allow them to ooh and ahhh over our kitchen necessities and envelopes, should we receive any gifts. Not loving the idea simply because we will get home from the hotel Sunday morning and need to be at the airport by 9pm Sunday night, so as long as they bring food and wine I can cooperate haha
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