How do we feel about this? (raising money situation)

jenna8984

http://www.gofundme.com/rayandchristina

If you can't click on it- their home was robbed (in addition to 10 other homes) a week before their wedding and all the cash to pay vendors was taken so they've raised over $6k in a day.

I feel bad that their home was burglarized, that must be a horrible feeling. But...who pays cash?! One should never pay cash for anything over $100! There is no paper trail- they can always come back and say you never paid and you have no proof that you paid it. If the vendor doesn't accept check or credit card, get a certified bank check!

LDay2014

I'm not a fan of gofundme at all...but I might be a little more lenient in this circumstance.

I actually pay cash for a LOT of things - well, debit - because I don't like credit cards.

But thats why you keep your money in a bank...and then take it out and take it to where you need it or like you said a certified cheque.

stef42188

A lot of places will not charge you the tax (as in, they will pay the tax themselves) or will reduce the price of something if you pay cash. In fact, when I bought my car I made the down payment in cash and they reduced the overall price of the vehicle since I did that (my bank was right across the street from the dealer, so I felt safe because I not hang onto it long). It takes a few days for a check to clear, and so they were happy to have the money immediately and to me it didn't matter either way. There is definitely a paper trail - you get receipts and contracts for everything. 

With regards to this gofundme, I wouldn't side-eye it too much, but I would probably put the money I wanted to donate into their wedding gift in addition to what I already planned on giving, since that site would take a % of the fees anyway and they wouldn't get the whole amount. 

HisGirlFriday13

Ehhhh, not sure.

DH and I paid two of our vendors (DJ and photog) in cash, per their requests. But in both cases, we got the money from the ATM just before meeting with the person so that we didn't have the cash on us for very long.

I realise this isn't the usual GFM plea, but it's still asking for money for your wedding from strangers and that bothers me. I wouldn't side-eye this as much if it were a donation for medical expenses or something, but a wedding isn't necessary -- it's nice, but it's not necessary.

jenna8984

A girl was just complaining on my FB feed about how she bought a $100 blender from Target less than a month ago and now it's stopped working and Target refuses to exchange it since she doesn't have the receipt and she paid cash. I know this situation is different from thousands of dollars on a vendor but this could have easily been returned/ exchanged if she had the credit card proof of purchase. (We all told her to contact the manufacturer for an exchange but still, life is so much easier with a paper trail). I had flights booked once and 2 weeks before the departure, the airline went belly up. Everyone booked on flights who paid with a debit card or cash had to wait 6 months, and go to a court hearing to possibly get reimbursed. My credit card company refunded me within 6 hours.

blabla89

While I definitely feel for these people, I kind of think it's on them for keeping that much cash in their home. I would never keep more than $200 or so (in a well-hidden place, for emergencies) at my place. Like @HisGirlFriday13 said - I wouldn't take it out of the bank until I was ready to hand it over. I feel like having that much cash laying around is just asking for some type of trouble.

However, I would probably still give because I know it means a lot to have support when something horrible like that happens, and because there is still so much other stuff to be replaced.

emmyg65

Not cool. I'm a big fan of community (my friends have been there for me more times than I can count, and I for them), but I really dislike crowd-funding. Shit happens to everyone—getting robbed, facing expensive medical treatments, wanting to go on a service trip abroad, wanting to adopt, etc. But we all find a way to cover it.

chibiyui

I wouldn't side eye it, but I also wouldn't donate.

Fran1985

Yeah I mean it sucks that happened. Bad things happen to people all the time, and I do want people to help other people. I just don't like crowdfunding at all. Also did you read the comment Eunice left on there? Yesssh

jenna8984

I agree- my loved ones would likely voluntarily chip in a little at their private discretion. It sucks but shouldn't be put out to the masses like that.

mysticl

Not everyone has credit cards.  

While my husband was deployed I paid cash for almost everything.  I had a part time job and my salary did not cover all of my expenses and the bills he could not put on auto pay while he was gone.  We did not have time between our wedding and his departure to travel to another state on a weekday for him to add me onto his checking account.  He was able to add me onto a savings account at a bank with a local branch.  I only had an ATM card for that account, not a debit card.  So anything from there came in cash.  I would try to take the cash out the same day I needed it but that wasn't always an option.  

KatWAG

Maybe this is a bad comparison, but this reminds me of people who start GFMs for vet bills. No one ever plans on being robbed or having a pet need emergency surgery. But it does happen. This is a prime explain of why having an emergency fund (not in cash) is a good idea.

pinkshorts27

jenna8984 said:

A girl was just complaining on my FB feed about how she bought a $100 blender from Target less than a month ago and now it's stopped working and Target refuses to exchange it since she doesn't have the receipt and she paid cash. I know this situation is different from thousands of dollars on a vendor but this could have easily been returned/ exchanged if she had the credit card proof of purchase. (We all told her to contact the manufacturer for an exchange but still, life is so much easier with a paper trail). I had flights booked once and 2 weeks before the departure, the airline went belly up. Everyone booked on flights who paid with a debit card or cash had to wait 6 months, and go to a court hearing to possibly get reimbursed. My credit card company refunded me within 6 hours.

Everything goes on my credit card (except tolls and parking, and sometimes my 90cent morning coffee). It is also paid off each month in full. Also cute perk that my CC texts me anytime more than 50 cents is charged to it, so if something odd happens I would know right away! I love that. I check my text msgs to my statement and my receipts can stay in their monthly envelop unless something doesn't match (or I have to check restaurants for tips).  The other thing I learned, now that I live in a city (or more city than the suburbs) is to keep enough cash to park and pay tolls in your car at all times and keep a roll of quarters.  

KatWAG

I just noticed that the goal was to raise $6k. They have now raised $7,205. Why is the page still active if they have reached their goal? They can pay their vendors now but I dont think they should turn a profit off this.

KeptInStitches

I don't understand why they didn't get a security system in the first place. I mean, isn't that a higher priority than a really expensive party (which is what most weddings/receptions are)?

CMGragain

LDay2014 said:

I'm not a fan of gofundme at all...but I might be a little more lenient in this circumstance.

I actually pay cash for a LOT of things - well, debit - because I don't like credit cards.

But thats why you keep your money in a bank...and then take it out and take it to where you need it or like you said a certified cheque.

Do you own a house?  I hope you do, because without a credit card or two to your name, you will have a lot of trouble buying one.  Things have changed in the mortgage market.  You need credit cards to establish your credit rating.
My son-in-law found out the hard way.  He always paid cash for everything, including his car.  When he went to pre-qualify him for his first house, the loan officer told him that he couldn't qualify for a loan, even though he had $90,000 in the bank and a professional job!  He had no credit history.  He was denied credit at Kohl's, Sears, Macy's.  He finally had to go out and get a pre-paid Mastercard, deliberately charge some items, and pay them off for the next year.  Now he is fine.
Don't get me wrong.  I think it is insane to charge things on a credit card and not pay off the entire balance when the bill comes due!  I just wouldn't want some ladies here to be mislead about credit cards being a bad thing.

JennyColada

I will never understand why some people are anti credit card. My credit cards give me free money, product protection, product replacement, warranty extensions, additional travel insurance, fraud protection, not to mention lower rates on other loans.

There is literally no downside to how I use my credit cards.

The only thing, MAYBE, is that I just need to be more aware of what money I am spending and where (but that's something that people should do whether cash or credit).

jenna8984

@CMgragain & @jennycolada

Excellent advice!! When I applied for my mortgage (single at the time) I was 25 years old and the loan officer said "Is there a mistake with your SSN? I've never seen a credit score this high for someone this age before." That's what happens when you open 4 credit cards at 20 years old and pay the full balances each month. Three I don't even use, and the one I use for everything because I get the rewards points and pay it off each month. I think people associate cash with being able to pay for it today and CCs with you can't pay for it/ debt which is totally the wrong way to do it. Never charge what you don't have the cash for.

HobokensFury

I think they're morons for keeping 6k in cash laying around the house. We had to make our final payments in cash and hit the bank up on the way to the appointment.

mysticl

Jennycolada said:

I will never understand why some people are anti credit card. My credit cards give me free money, product protection, product replacement, warranty extensions, additional travel insurance, fraud protection, not to mention lower rates on other loans.

There is literally no downside to how I use my credit cards.

The only thing, MAYBE, is that I just need to be more aware of what money I am spending and where (but that's something that people should do whether cash or credit).

Some people aren't good a handling them.  They see them as free money and just keep charging.  

In my case I was unemployed for a long time and charged stuff just to survive.  Once I got married I was in a better financial situation and started to pay them down but I had to stop using them for a while because otherwise they would always be maxed out.  

jdluvr06

I feel bad for them but unless it was someone I knew personally I wouldnt donate.

hikebikebemerry

I'm still just shocked that they had the $6k in cash sitting around a week before the wedding.. why not just get a bank check if you had to get it out that far in advance?

casey8784

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Ehhhh, not sure.

DH and I paid two of our vendors (DJ and photog) in cash, per their requests. But in both cases, we got the money from the ATM just before meeting with the person so that we didn't have the cash on us for very long.

I realise this isn't the usual GFM plea, but it's still asking for money for your wedding from strangers and that bothers me. I wouldn't side-eye this as much if it were a donation for medical expenses or something, but a wedding isn't necessary -- it's nice, but it's not necessary.

This. Regardless that it's for a wedding - it's still asking for money from strangers, period. People have been robbed for centuries...just because of technology and the how wide-spread social media has become, doesn't make their break-in any more serious/dire than others, why should it be other people's job to replace what was stolen? As a PP said, life/sh*t happens, it really sucks, and I definitely feel for them (my house was broken into when I was a small child) but some people have to start realizing that 99% of what they put on these websites are pure BS.

In this particular case, with the cash, I would hope that the vendors are understanding and maybe set up a bit of a payment plan instead of relying on strangers. Asking family/friends is one thing, but complete strangers? Just rubs me the wrong way...

princessleia22

I'm torn on whether this scenario is okay or not. I feel bad for them and it is horrible that they have to go through that. But, they are still asking for money for an optional event. And it is really their own fault for leaving that much cash in the home unprotected. I could see family & friends offering to contribute to fund the wedding they had planned, but reaching out to random strangers is a bit over the line, IMO.  Plus, with these funding things, unless you personally know them, you never really know if the sob stories are true or not.

FI and I have been saving cash at home for our wedding by putting aside any change or all bills less than $20 into a container. It has been a very effective saving plan for us. We do occasionally empty it out and deposit it into the bank, mainly because we are worried about losing it if someone did break in.  But, first time we went to empty it, it was nearly $2,000, which would be pretty devastating if it were stolen... we now deposit it much more regularly because we were shocked at how quickly it built up and don't feel comfortable with that much cash sitting there unprotected.

 

mysticl

I went to the site and it was set up by their best man for them.  So if the best man went ahead and set this up without the couple asking him to do it does that change the tacky factor?

monkeysip

jenna8984 said:

I agree- my loved ones would likely voluntarily chip in a little at their private discretion. It sucks but shouldn't be put out to the masses like that.

This exactly.

I might help a friend in this situation, and if you're having a real emergency, then I think it's ok to ask your CLOSEST family/friends for a little help.  But this impersonal, mass-shared crowd funding crap has got to stop.  

jenajjthr

The part I wonder about is, how true is the story? This makes me think of the insurance commercial where the woman says they can't put anything not true on the Internet. The guy asks where did you hear that. Her response.. The Internet. Just because they said their house was robbed doesn't make it true. I'd feel bad for them if it was, I've had stuff stolen. But I wouldn't donate.

SBmini

A LOT of our vendors have given us 'cash discounts'. So yes, there is a reason to have a stack of cash lying around before the wedding. I wouldn't donate to strangers over something like this, but if a friend or family member had this happen, I would definitely open up my check book to make sure they still got their wedding!

smalfrie19

Just because something isn't someone's fault, asking for other people to pay doesn't make it less tacky...I was laid off a month ago..who wants to help pay my bills since unemployment doesn't cover it? 

Also..really REALLY dumb to have that much cash lying around!! REALLY dumb. I have credit cards, and I use them wisely, do I ALWAYS pay off the full balance? No..but that doesn't mean I am drowning in credit card debt either. 

MyNameIsNot

I think this is a lie and a scam.  

Who is dumb enough to keep that much money in cash laying around the house?  And why don't they have insurance?  It just doesn't add up.

Oh, and it's still rude to ask other people to pay for your wedding.  Even if you got robbed.  

erinlin25

blah I read that this morning!  So tacky IMO and I quickly deleted it. I feel bad for them yes, but they can still get married without the flowers and they can postpone their honeymoon.  It is one thing to ask close friends and family for help but to ask complete strangers is unreal to me!  And I agree they should not have had the $6,000 just laying around.  And on top of the money they "raised" there were vendors on there saying they would give their services for free...so pretty much if they take those offers now whoever donated pretty much just funded these peoples honeymoon.  I felt bad because someone commented that they were trying to rise money a few weeks ago for a friends 11 year old daughter who passed away unexpectedly and the family could not afford the funeral cost...they did not reach their goal... but these people earn over 7k! for flowers and a honeymoon.  so weird.