Moms and Maids

Mom and Maid of Honor problems..

I love my mom and my sister (maid of honor) but here's the problem: every idea I say to them about my wedding they either turn it down or have something quick to say about it. And I don't mind it too much but I was telling them that my wedding won't really be a "traditional" wedding and I'm not sure if I want to walk down the aisle with my veil over my face. Both of my aunts didn't and I've seen that a lot of other brides haven't either. They both got upset and said that if I didn't put the veil over my face, they would be upset at me. How do I tell them that I don't mind their opinions but it's my wedding? OR Should I just stop being a mean or a "bridezilla" and just suck it up and do it for them? Honest answers please and thank you! :)   

Re: Mom and Maid of Honor problems..

  • I love my mom and my sister (maid of honor) but here's the problem: every idea I say to them about my wedding they either turn it down or have something quick to say about it. And I don't mind it too much but I was telling them that my wedding won't really be a "traditional" wedding and I'm not sure if I want to walk down the aisle with my veil over my face. Both of my aunts didn't and I've seen that a lot of other brides haven't either. They both got upset and said that if I didn't put the veil over my face, they would be upset at me. How do I tell them that I don't mind their opinions but it's my wedding? OR Should I just stop being a mean or a "bridezilla" and just suck it up and do it for them? Honest answers please and thank you! :)   
    From what you have said here, you're not being a bridezilla. The decision to wear a veil at all, or wear it over your face, is a deeply personal one. 

    I didn't wear a veil, but if I had, I would not have worn it over my face, at DH's request. 

    I ditto @KeptInStitches' comment that you just don't tell them more than they need to know. If they don't know, they can't proffer opinions.

    I'm sure you wanted them to be excited and help you plan, but the reality is that people aren't always going to be as excited and happy as you want them to be. 
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • My mother has shot down most of my ideas. So I eventually learned to stop sharing every little detail with her. Examples: She didn't like the invites that I was designing (she said it looked like a recycled chinese to-go box) but I just ignored her and ordered them anyways because I liked them. Then once I sent her invite and she saw it in person she loved it! *eye roll*.  She also doesn't like the shoes I picked out which doesn't make sense since my dress covers them. It sucks not having her being excited and 100% supportive but I've just had to suck it up and move on. The only person that's going to be as excited about everything is yourself and your FI. Luckily my FI is excited about all our ideas so he's been my one to gush too. I would only share details that you are okay with them putting their 2 cents in. 

    Now that the wedding is near there's nothing she can disagree with since everything is already pretty much set. 

    I'm wearing my Mom's wedding veil (I tweaked it), but it will not be covering my face and I plan on taking it off almost immediately after the ceremony. I want my FI to see my face as I walk up the aisle and I want to see his face clearly. I would do whatever you want to do. If it were me, I just wouldn't mention it again and they will just have to cope with it come wedding day. 



    image

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    PrettyGirlLost
  • I love my mom and my sister (maid of honor) but here's the problem: every idea I say to them about my wedding they either turn it down or have something quick to say about it. And I don't mind it too much but I was telling them that my wedding won't really be a "traditional" wedding and I'm not sure if I want to walk down the aisle with my veil over my face. Both of my aunts didn't and I've seen that a lot of other brides haven't either. They both got upset and said that if I didn't put the veil over my face, they would be upset at me. How do I tell them that I don't mind their opinions but it's my wedding? OR Should I just stop being a mean or a "bridezilla" and just suck it up and do it for them? Honest answers please and thank you! :)   
    I'm sorry, what? Why do they have a say in your wedding at all? Are they paying for your wedding? Or have you always let them make your decisions for you?
    PrettyGirlLost
  • I definitely would take your own road, and not include them in wedding talk. Unless, of course, it 100% concerns them. That'll make a huge difference in your stress level.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    image
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    They would be upset with you if you don't wear a veil over your face?  Are you kidding me?  They sound ridiculous.  Just stop sharing details with them and if they ask why you won't tell them anything just let them know that you were tired of the non stop negative comments.

    doeydo
  • It's YOUR wedding, sweetie, not theirs.  One of my daughters wore a veil, the other one didn't.  It's completely a personal decision.  And I agree with the others, stop sharing information with them.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Why the hell do they care if you wear a veil?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    PrettyGirlLost
  • I have been to a lot of weddings and have never seen anyone wear a veil over their face. Not saying you should or shouldn't just that it's something you definitely don't have to if you don't want to!

    image


    Anniversary
  • I had a ney sayer - I stopped discussing the wedding. if they bring up the wedding I am polite but do not actually provide any information and simply say' it will be a surprise'.
     
    I probably will not be wearing a veil. initially I had some slack about it saying it was not proper and traditional but it ultimately if your choice.
     
    It is your wedding - have fun with it.
  • I am so frustrated with other people telling the bride what she should do.  Wearing the veil over your face is from the dark ages.  Unless you are having some kind of very formal Greek Orthodox wedding, tell them both it’s your wedding and you will do as you please.  If they don’t like it, tell them to keep their comments to themselves.

  • It is YOUR wedding. Do what makes YOU happy. If your mother and sister keep making these kind of remarks and it is upsetting you just stop giving them details about it. If you don't want to wear a veil over your face then don't do it. 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards