Giving a check

AguaEau

If you are giving a check as a wedding gift, how are you supposed to address it?  Does it really matter?

- Jane Doe
- Bob Smith
- Jane Doe or Bob Smith
- Jane Doe and Bob Smith
- Jane or Bob Smith
- Jane and Bob Smith

I know the bride better than the groom and she plans to change her name, but I don't know when.

I doubt the couple will care as this wedding is already kind of an etiquette disaster (b-listing, dictating dress codes, firing and replacing a bridesmaid, the bride hosting her own bachelorette parties, etc.)  But I would like to do the right thing if I can (and not cause issues with their bank).

TheGrimReaper

I would write it as 'or.'  That's the easiest way to make sure they can cash it. If there are any issues with her name change, her H can cash it.  I'd put her married name, but honestly, I don't think it matters.

LakeR2014

I always put the name of the person I know on it.  For example if it's Joe and Deb's wedding and I know Joe better, I write the check to Joe Smith and then in the Memo line Congrats on your wedding Deb and Joe.

I've had friends who have had trouble cashing the checks because they hadn't changed their names yet (or weren't going to and the assumed name was written on it) and because they didn't both sign the back of the checks.  So putting only one name is better for the couple I think - it allows less trouble when trying to put in the bank or cash it.

HisGirlFriday13

This is one of those things where I think it depends on who you know better.

We got cheques address to 'HisGirl MI Surname,' to 'DH Surname,' and to 'DH and HisGirl Surname.'

I did, legally, change my name after we got married, but I didn't do it for almost two weeks, because I needed the paperwork from the county to do it. We were married on a Sunday and deposited all the cheques on the Thursday after our wedding. 

I didn't want the cheques to be outstanding for too long, because that would screw up people's cheque registers. Our bank (which is a credit union, and I don't know if that matters) allowed us to open a new, joint, account, and deposit all our wedding cheques, but there were holds placed on them for a few days until they cleared, since my ID didn't always match the name on the cheque.

I would, for the sake of banking clarity, address them to the bride by her maiden name. Then at least the name on the cheque matches the name on her ID.

phira

So I have no idea really and it's one of the reasons I do boxed gifts for weddings, but if I were to write the check out to one person, I'd write something like, "Congratulations Riley and Cory!" in the memo.

My aunt and uncle gave us their wedding gift (check) early because they are essentially gifting us our honeymoon (I keep getting teary eyed thinking about it because it was such a nice thing to do), and they made the check out to just me. I didn't think it was weird, and neither did my partner.

daria24

Our bank was super easy, even with the checks addressed to "Mr. & Mrs. His Last" even though I wasn't changing my name (and wouldn't have had the process done at the time we were depositing them anyway). But some banks can be a huge PITA.

Personally I write the check out to the person in the couple I know best, in their maiden name (if it is bride). 

ashleyep

I usually put the groom's name on the check unless I know the bride is keeping her name. I know it's not really a problem most of the time, but I figured he won't have any name change hassles.

melbenso

Use "or" - if you use "and" both people have to sign it for it to be deposited. Not only is it easier on the couple but, that way, if you do get the bride's last name wrong because of name changing issues, it won't matter.  Groom can just sign those checks.

As for the last name thing, I'd use the bride's maiden name unless you know for sure that she is going to change it.  That way she can definitely sign it and deposit it no matter what.  But that may just be my preference because I am not changing my name.

(And I'd be kind of annoyed is people wrote the checks just to my FI.)

Maggie0829

I always write the checks out to Mr. and Mrs. Jon Smith.  But every couple I know the woman has always changed her name.

For our wedding we got checks addressed all certain ways but since H and I already had a joint account together I was able to just take all the checks to the bank (after he signed the one's that were made out solely to him) and deposit them without issue.

cowgirl8238

daria24 said:

 

Personally I write the check out to the person in the couple I know best, in their maiden name (if it is bride). 

 

Stuck in Box!!

 

This is also what I do, and then I use the memo line to congratulate them

grumbledore

I would write the check to the member of the couple that I was closer to, in their current name.  They may not have joint accounts and/or there may be no name change.

AguaEau

Excellent, I think I will write it to the bride (with her maiden name) and then congratulate both of them in the memo.  Thanks!

photokitty

I write it tot he person I am closest to and NEVER to both names. It was awful trying to deposit checks made out to Mr & Mrs DH'sLastName. Especially since I did not change my name. Those checks took a few weeks to cash bc I had to get a marriage license in the mail to deposit them.

indianaalum

I would write it to her MAIDEN name as it is hard to cash if she doesn't change her name immediately. I had some difficulties

JoanE2012

We always write the checks to the person we're closer to and, if it's a woman, we use the maiden name.  We put congrats with both names in the memo.

After our wedding, we tried to cash the checks into my DHs account.  They refused to accept the checks with my signature....because I didn't have a picture ID with my new name....I just had the temporary marriage license.  But I couldn't get my license until I got the official marriage license which in the town was 4-6 weeks.  They said we had to hold the checks until then.  No way was I going to do that to our guests.  My DH closed his accounts and pulled out all the money that day.  We went to another bank which was more accommodating.

huskypuppy14

Don't write Mr. and Mrs. So and So, as other posters have pointed out. If you want to write it to both people use "or". The woman may or may not be changing her name, and even if she does, it's not going to be done immediately, so always use her maiden name. I always write it to only one person, and it's the one I know better.

FWIW, I had an alias until I was 20 (legally changed my name to the name I always used). I never had a problem signing both names on a check and depositing it to my bank. However, my name was legally changed less than a year after 9/11 so I don't know how the rules have changed since then.