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JoanE2012

violingurl1999 said:

I am ignoring people who I don't agree with or what they say, but when you say that X is the "truth" or the correct answer, they are your opinions, not fact. I appreciate the advice and approaches of people I don't know for ideas and solutions I may not have thought of, but when I am told I am flat-out wrong, end of discussion, I feel a little defensive. 

And as for tone… here is an example of how tone is conceived. The words in capslock and all the exclamations don't indicate sarcasm and attitude to you? 

"Oh gosh, you're right!  It IS all about YOU!  My bad!  Do whatever makes you happy!  Don't worry about your guests.  It's totally YOUR special day!  Rock that B-list!"

Most of my answers are blunt....I don't sugar coat things.  But yes, in the case above, it was sarcasm.  Quite simply, I get tired of people defending decisions that are rude.  There comes a point where nothing anyone says is going to matter, so it's a feeling of frustration and throwing ones hands up in the air and saying do' whatever you want'.  I'm done.  

Maggie0829

violingurl1999 said:

And @Maggie0829 you are correct - the internet can be harsh - but I don't understand how the internet excuses lack of courtesy and respect. Would you speak to someone you didn't know in person who randomly asked, "Hey, you have a ring on your left finger. I assume you are married. Can you give me an opinion on X, Y, and Z?" I mean, I wouldn't flat out tell a stranger, especially since I don't know how they would respond, "Yes, I can. Your idea is horribly thought out." I would approach it a little differently and treat them how I would want to be treated. You stated that you wouldn't want things sugar coated, but then again, not everyone likes that approach. I can respect your desire for how you would like a response but I wouldn't give you a response like that until I knew that was how you needed to be told. 

@violingurl1999 But that is you, not me.  That is the wonderful thing about these public forums, you get a wide variety of people and advice.  If you don't like how one person gives advice there are many others to choose from.  Just because you don't like how I give advice doesn't mean that my advice isn't good or right.  And actually I would be blunt with a stranger.  Why would I care if they didn't like what I had to say?  They are a stranger and have no bearing on my life.  Now in real life I do maybe do a bit more hand holding with my friends and family (even though I hate it) because these are the people in my life and that I would like to stay in my life.  Which is why we say that your friends and family won't ever really tell you the full truth to your face about any bad or rude ideas you may have. They don't want to hurt your feelings because they care about you, but we as strangers just care that you don't muck up your relationships which is why we tend to be a bit more blunt and a little less "oh sweetie, everything will be fine and your ideas aren't bad."

AddieCake

I don't appreciate people who act like those of us who are married shouldn't be here and ask why we are.