First PPD

FoxandBunny

Normally I'm a lurker, but I had to post about this. This post just came across my Facebook newsfeed. It's copied and pasted for your enjoyment.

"Since everyone very important has been told personally by me or by proxy bc I told mom first, I can now announce my big news. *FI* and I will be getting married on March 16th in Vegas. Don't worry, I'm still getting my ceremony in *home state* so my friends and family can see it too. The date for that ceremony has yet to be determined, but I will be keeping u informed."

This is the first PPD that I have encountered personally. The comments are full of congratulations and requests for invites to the PPD, but my favorite was someone who posted "WTF?" in response. I am very tempted to comment "But you're going to already be married, so why the second ceremony?" I don't know her well enough though. I just sighed, shook my head, and told SO who thought it was the most ridiculous and stupid thing ever.

I'm just going to judge her from afar.

lyndausvi

At least they are being honest.

But really, just have a celebration party.   People like parties. Not everyone likes to watch a reenactment of a ceremony. I know I don't.

HisGirlFriday13

See, you are so much nicer than I am. If this is someone I didn't know well, I would totally say, 'But you're already going to be married. Are you planning on getting divorced and then remarried? Or is one of you planning to break your vows, thus necessitating a renewal?'

I am also (a) drinking and (b) reeling from my friend's etiquette hot mess train wreck of a wedding.

Aray82

Oy. I had two fb friends get married recently in Vegas as well. They announced it on facebook, posted some cute pics, told people how excited they were to finally be married to each other, and that was it. Because they're adults who owned their decision not to have a big wedding.

And I had thought PPDs didn't happen in my circle, but my parents are going to their first tomorrow. Seems like this trend is spreading!

FoxandBunny

lyndausvi - I am glad they aren't lying. I don't understand it either. Why are they getting married in Vegas if they want the ceremony? Why not wait? I'm sure some people would be annoyed about not being able to go to the ceremony in Vegas, but if that's important why get married then?

HisGirlFriday13 - I am being polite. If I knew her better I'd call her out on it. It's taking a lot for me not to say anything though. SO keeps telling me not to get involved as they won't listen to me anyway. It's getting harder the longer I sit and stew about it.

@Aray82 - I don't mind Vegas weddings at all, but I hate the "ceremony" afterwords where everyone can come so they aren't "left out." This is also the first one in my (sort of) circle as well. There have been plenty of courthouse marriages, but they all considered that their wedding. 

CMGragain

Did I tell you about the FOB I know at church?  He was looking haggard, and I asked him how it was going.  He explained to me that his daughter got married in Las Vegas, and he had just finished paying and attending her "THREE wedding receptions"!  One in Las Vegas, one in the groom's hometown, and one here.  Yes, she wore her wedding dress at all three and tossed the bouquet, because she didn't want anyone to miss out.
I was very good.  I didn't criticize his precious princess daughter.  I just looked at him in astonishment, and said "Three receptions?  Why?"  and walked away.  Poor guy.  I'm sure it wasn't his idea!
DH was less diplomatic.  (When is he ever?)  He looked at the man and said "Oh, man!  You got screwed!"

AddieCake

When I encounter PPDs on FB, my reaction is to do exactly what we tell the special snowflakes will happen. 

Are you listening lurkers and special snowflakes? Because this is exactly what we tell you will happen, despite your insistence that your friends and family don't mind:

I roll my eyes, say nothing b/c I don't want to hurt their feelings, and then I gossip about it with others. 

kitsunegari89

At least they're telling everyone they're going to get married instead of absurdly trying to keep it a secret like my cousin is. Everyone already knows, but he still keeps calling his wife his fiancé, and she's asking me for vendor information for her "wedding" since they are planning to have it in the same city. I'm so livid that I can't even look her in the eye.

wrigleyville

I got married in Vegas and invited as many people as we could afford. Many people asked about an at-home reception, and I put my foot down. If we'd had the budget for an at-home reception, we would have rolled it into the Vegas budget and invited more people (duh). Also, it's rude.

One of my cousins married a young lady from Alabama. Cousin lives in Michigan. They had their wedding in Alabama and didn't invite anyone from Michigan. Then, they had a reception in Michigan about two weeks after their wedding and didn't invite anyone from Alabama. My aunt was crowing about how "smart" it was and how nobody would have to travel.

The Michigan reception was one week before another cousin's wedding. The hot topic at that cousin's wedding was the annoyance of all of us who would have loved to have had the option to attend the wedding in Alabama instead of being relegated to the second tier reception.

People do talk, even if they say it's a great idea to your face.

AlexisA01

Aray82 said:

Oy. I had two fb friends get married recently in Vegas as well. They announced it on facebook, posted some cute pics, told people how excited they were to finally be married to each other, and that was it. Because they're adults who owned their decision not to have a big wedding.

And I had thought PPDs didn't happen in my circle, but my parents are going to their first tomorrow. Seems like this trend is spreading!

I have a recent family friend who did the same thing. They are having a barbecue for all friends and family. It will not be a reception but a cookout. 

CMGragain

AlexisA01 said:

Aray82 said:

Oy. I had two fb friends get married recently in Vegas as well. They announced it on facebook, posted some cute pics, told people how excited they were to finally be married to each other, and that was it. Because they're adults who owned their decision not to have a big wedding.

And I had thought PPDs didn't happen in my circle, but my parents are going to their first tomorrow. Seems like this trend is spreading!

I have a recent family friend who did the same thing. They are having a barbecue for all friends and family. It will not be a reception but a cookout.

A reception is simply a party where the hosts receives their guests and offers food and drink.  If the hostess wears a wedding dress, it becomes a "wedding reception", which is different from other receptions.  The wedding reception happens after the ceremony on the wedding day.  It is where the hosts and the newly married couple receive their ceremony guests.  It can be as simple as cake and punch in the afternoon, or as fancy as a plated dinner at a country club. 
There is nothing wrong with having a wedding reception on your wedding day.  There is nothing wrong with having a reception to celebrate your marriage on another day, either.  Trying to turn the second one into the first one is where people go wrong.
If your friend is repeating vows and prancing around in her wedding dress, then it is a PPD.  If it is a simple barbecue for family and friends to welcome the couple back from their honeymoon, then it is OK.