Oh, my blessed Lord. The etiquette train wreck that I just encountered...

HisGirlFriday13

DH and I hung out with friends tonight. Two of them are getting married in May.

The bride shared with me the following tidbits about their wedding:

-- STDates went out in December (in Christmas cards), but not everyone who got an STDate got an invite, and invites went out last week.

-- Invites to some people included a note, 'Please note that the invitation is only for the people whose names are on it. No additions or substitutions are allowed.'

-- Some of the parents are getting corsages but not all of them. The bride's mother doesn't want one, so the groom's mother isn't allowed to have one, either.

-- There is a rose ceremony involving the bride's sons and the MOB and MOG and some vow statement from MOG to kids (????)

-- Some people have been invited BY OFFICIAL INVITATION to the ceremony only, not the reception (it's in a church, so anyone could theoretically come, buuuuuut the invitation over-rides that.)

-- Several people have been invited without their SO base on either the B/G not knowing the SO or not liking the SO or inviting the groom's co-workers and assuming they'll all come out and spend the day together as co-workers.

I haven't had enough wine, y'all.

blabla89

Bless her heart.

Aray82

What happens if someone just glances quickly at the invite, assumes they're invited to both because they're invited to the ceremony, and then crashes the reception because they see a bunch of other folks going to that area of the church, down the stairs, etc? Would they be kicked out? 

HisGirlFriday13

Aray82 said:

What happens if someone just glances quickly at the invite, assumes they're invited to both because they're invited to the ceremony, and then crashes the reception because they see a bunch of other folks going to that area of the church, down the stairs, etc? Would they be kicked out? 

I don't know, quite honestly. I'm almost afraid to ask.

blabla89

HisGirlFriday13 said:

What happens if someone just glances quickly at the invite, assumes they're invited to both because they're invited to the ceremony, and then crashes the reception because they see a bunch of other folks going to that area of the church, down the stairs, etc? Would they be kicked out? 

I don't know, quite honestly. I'm almost afraid to ask.

Angusaur

Here's one for you, an extended family member got married in a courthouse with only immediate family and a handful of best friends. She is also pregnant.

They are throwing their own joint baby shower/wedding reeption which a lot other people who were not invited to the ceremony, are invited to. There were also facebook posts about expecting gifts for both occasions.

jerkyanne

Angusaur said:

Here's one for you, an extended family member got married in a courthouse with only immediate family and a handful of best friends. She is also pregnant.

They are throwing their own joint baby shower/wedding reeption which a lot other people who were not invited to the ceremony, are invited to. There were also facebook posts about expecting gifts for both occasions.

If you could drag me to this event I would put a nursing bra in tupperware container with a bow on top.

kitsunegari89

I'd say not to go, but then you'd miss out on all the delicious gossip-fodder. Please go and check back here afterwards. Yes, I'm childish, but rude brides are hilarious.

Amyzen83

So I'm curious now HisGirl, where do you fall on the invite spectrum? This wedding doesn't only sound like a trainwreck but it sounds like an entire nuclear explosion! Send these people here pronto! We'll learn em!

Angusaur

I'd say not to go, but then you'd miss out on all the delicious gossip-fodder. Please go and check back here afterwards. Yes, I'm childish, but rude brides are hilarious.

Stuck in the box* I'm actually not going. I live out of state and couldn't take off work to be there. Darn!

HisGirlFriday13

Amyzen83 said:

So I'm curious now HisGirl, where do you fall on the invite spectrum? This wedding doesn't only sound like a trainwreck but it sounds like an entire nuclear explosion! Send these people here pronto! We'll learn em!

Oh, DH and I are going. The groom was one of his GM and is one of his best friends.

I'd send them here if I thought it would do any good, but it won't.

chibiyui

HisGirlFriday13 said:

So I'm curious now HisGirl, where do you fall on the invite spectrum? This wedding doesn't only sound like a trainwreck but it sounds like an entire nuclear explosion! Send these people here pronto! We'll learn em!

Oh, DH and I are going. The groom was one of his GM and is one of his best friends. I'd send them here if I thought it would do any good, but it won't.

Make DH be DD.

wrigleyville

Holy cats.

Is your tongue bruised from biting down on it all night?

Sars06

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Some of the parents are getting corsages but not all of them. The bride's mother doesn't want one, so the groom's mother isn't allowed to have one, either.  

For some reason, that one really gets me. 

MOG: Can I have a corsage?

Bride: NO YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED A CORSAGE.

HisGirlFriday13

Sars06 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Some of the parents are getting corsages but not all of them. The bride's mother doesn't want one, so the groom's mother isn't allowed to have one, either.  

For some reason, that one really gets me. 

MOG: Can I have a corsage?

Bride: NO YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED A CORSAGE.

I mentioned this to DH, who told me, 'Well, MOG is a little difficult.'

I. Just. Looked. At. Him.

Then I said, 'So I would have been justified in *NOT* giving BSC granny a corsage, because she's difficult? You would have been OK with that? Really?'

He thought for a moment and then was like, 'Oh. Good point.'

theartistformerlyknownas

HisGirlFriday13 said:

What happens if someone just glances quickly at the invite, assumes they're invited to both because they're invited to the ceremony, and then crashes the reception because they see a bunch of other folks going to that area of the church, down the stairs, etc? Would they be kicked out? 

I don't know, quite honestly. I'm almost afraid to ask.

Bet you dollars to donuts she designates you the bouncer has you check invitations at the door!

grumbledore

I can't wait to hear about this.  I have serious bad-wedding-schadenfreude.

antoto

Gah what a hot mess.

But what's wrong with a rose ceremony? 

HisGirlFriday13

A rose ceremony involving the bride and groom is fine. A rose ceremony roping her kids into receiving (possibly saying? I wasn't clear on that) vows from the MOG is wrong.

Kids don't make vows at weddings and vows aren't made to them.

RebeccaB88

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Oh, DH and I are going. The groom was one of his GM and is one of his best friends. I'd send them here if I thought it would do any good, but it won't.

Was no one in your (plural) circle paying attention at your wedding? 

HisGirlFriday13

RebeccaB88 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Oh, DH and I are going. The groom was one of his GM and is one of his best friends.

I'd send them here if I thought it would do any good, but it won't.

Was no one in your (plural) circle paying attention at your wedding? 


You know, I wondered that. I asked DH. He said that the general consensus was that we/I was 'too formal' and 'too polite' and 'too proper' and 'super fancy' for having a hosted (limited) bar and enough seats for everyone and inviting people's SOs by name and etc.

So apparently you can be 'too proper and too polite.' Who knew?

APDSS22

HisGirlFriday13 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Oh, DH and I are going. The groom was one of his GM and is one of his best friends. I'd send them here if I thought it would do any good, but it won't.

Was no one in your (plural) circle paying attention at your wedding? 

You know, I wondered that. I asked DH. He said that the general consensus was that we/I was 'too formal' and 'too polite' and 'too proper' and 'super fancy' for having a hosted (limited) bar and enough seats for everyone and inviting people's SOs by name and etc. So apparently you can be 'too proper and too polite.' Who knew?

I'd rather be too polite and proper than have people talking about what a cheapskate I am because I didn't want to pay for everyone to be able to sit down...

antoto

HisGirlFriday13 said:

A rose ceremony involving the bride and groom is fine. A rose ceremony roping her kids into receiving (possibly saying? I wasn't clear on that) vows from the MOG is wrong. Kids don't make vows at weddings and vows aren't made to them.

OHHHHHH I get it - yes.  

RebeccaB88

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Was no one in your (plural) circle paying attention at your wedding? 

You know, I wondered that. I asked DH. He said that the general consensus was that we/I was 'too formal' and 'too polite' and 'too proper' and 'super fancy' for having a hosted (limited) bar and enough seats for everyone and inviting people's SOs by name and etc. So apparently you can be 'too proper and too polite.' Who knew?

That sounds like they were trying to insult you. Which, of course, is one of the nicest insults one could levy against you. Would they have thought it was just perfect if you'd had a cash bar, standing room only, no SOs, etc?

PrincessLeia5

Wow... that sounds as bad as my friend.  Here are the mistakes my friend is planning so far:

- 2 hour unhosted gap after ceremony (while she goes to take photos off-site... with wedding party... in a party bus), then cocktail hour (which she plans to be back and attend most of), then reception... all of this is at same venue. 

- has mentioned plans to B-list

- has considered getting legally married 2 months prior to the ceremony (making this a PPD)

I think I've talked her out of the PPD at least.  I've failed at the others.  But, I did at least get her to include the schedule on the invites so guest know in advance about the gap.