Inviting friends on vacation?

jenna8984

So FI is the opposite of a social butterfly. He literally only has two friends (who are both his best man) and that's it. Everyone else invited the to wedding is family and my friends. Since these two each live over an hour from us, we don't see them often at all. We do weekend dinners with my friends all the time because I am a social butterfly and they all live close by.

Yesterday we got together with one of the men, he came to try on/buy his wedding attire and we took him lunch and I could tell FI missed him and had a great time with him. So now I'm debating for FI's surprise 30th birthday weekend in NYC- should I invite this guy and his girlfriend? The thing is I don't particularly like his girlfriend...but I feel like FI puts up with my friends so frequently that I could suck it up for him. But then again he's just sitting through $40 dinners and not $1,000 weekends LOL. I know it would make him really happy...aah what would you do?

 (I know inviting him wouldn't guarantee attendance but financially and with their work schedules/ obligations I think with 80% certainty they would come, unlike the other best man who I like more but has a new baby and far less likelihood to be able to come)

 

Ven&Radio

I think I could also be described as "the opposite of a social butterfly".  I don't have alot of friends and one of my best friends literally lives on the other side of the world.  I love seeing him and his gf, but I wouldn't want to bring them along on a weekend away for my birthday.  Even though I live with H and see him every day, there's something special/intimate about just the two of us going somewhere for a couple days.  I think I'd feel disappointed if my friends were invited along.  Every introvert is different though -- your FI may very well feel differently about this than I do.  An hour isn't that far, maybe instead you could make the effort to plan something with his friends once a month?

pinkshorts27

Yea, I would say no because my FI is an introvert and can't spend an entire weekend with someone. He would need some decompress time.

jenna8984

Thanks guys! Very good points- I thought it would make him happy to spend time with his friend but he is an introvent and might find 3 days way too overwhelming. Plus we have a great time when it's the 2 of us because we are on the same page with waking up early, walking for miles, going to early bird dinner, etc and friends could really impact that if they aren't on the same schedule. Thanks!

cruffino

I am an introvert, although I have a fair number of friends. That being said, there are very few people I'd want to go on vacation with, for a weekend or longer. DH and I have our own rhythm and we travel a lot, so I like just traveling with him and doing our own thing.