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Snarky Brides

Themes - how far is too far?

124

Re: Themes - how far is too far?

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited March 2014
    This is only my personal opinion.'
    I am religious.  I like traditional weddings held in church.  To me, this emphasizes the importance of the vows the couple says in the presence of their families, and in a building dedicated to the worship of God. A church wedding puts the emphasis on the ceremony - where it belongs, not on the party and open bar. The idea of Hobbits running around in a forest or fairy tale princesses has nothing to do with my own ideas of what a wedding signifies. I do realize that many people do not share my beliefs or views, but perhaps this explains them.  I feel that themes cheapen the meaning of the ceremony that changes the lives of the couple who is being married.  JMHO.
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  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    We went with the I like purple, he likes grey, we're getting married and we want our guests to enjoy themselves theme. I thought we pulled it off well.

    RebeccaB88
  • Do what feels right to you and your fiance.  I'm having a theme.  For the love of the game.  It's at a Major League Baseball stadium, we are integrating our bridal parties favorite teams into their outfit (my bridesmaids are carrying baseball shaped bouquets wrapped with ribbon from their favorite team, have a cake topper and cake design that includes baseball stitches and a lot of other little touches.  We always bonded through our love of the sport, so it works for us to have fun with it.  We aren't super formal people and we want our day to be about our relationship.
    ErinableAmyzen83tigersgirlgv
  • luckysnorkelluckysnorkel member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited March 2014
    CMGragain said:
    This is only my personal opinion.'
    I am religious.  I like traditional weddings held in church.  To me, this emphasizes the importance of the vows the couple says in the presence of their families, and in a building dedicated to the worship of God. A church wedding puts the emphasis on the ceremony - where it belongs, not on the party and open bar. The idea of Hobbits running around in a forest or fairy tale princesses has nothing to do with my own ideas of what a wedding signifies. I do realize that many people do not share my beliefs or views, but perhaps this explains them.  I feel that themes cheapen the meaning of the ceremony that changes the lives of the couple who is being married.  JMHO.
    I am not at all religious and am not getting married in a church but I completely agree with you.  OTT themes almost make a mockery of what is supposed to be a hugely momentous and serious day in someone's life.  That's not to say that a wedding can't be peppered with levity and humor, or be tailored to the couple, but there's a difference between doing that and turning your wedding into a LARP.
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  • There is a bride on Attire right now who is dressing like an elvish princess.  Her FI wants to wear a tailcoat and top hat with a feather in it.  She is worried that his gold vest will clash with her silver jewelry.  (Eye roll)
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    PrettyGirlLostAmyzen83
  • CMGragain said:

    There is a bride on Attire right now who is dressing like an elvish princess.  Her FI wants to wear a tailcoat and top hat with a feather in it.  She is worried that his gold vest will clash with her silver jewelry.  (Eye roll)

    Yes. Yes it will. Go put on normal clothes.

    Because if you are asking do silver and gold clash, you aren't into geek cosplay or getting married at DragonCon or whatever convention. Thus, your attire is a bad idea.

    If you cosplay it up and marry at a convention, I am fine with the extreme. Otherwise, please act like the adult you hopefully are.

    PrettyGirlLost
  • LOL!  You should post it over on the  Attire board.
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    Amyzen83

  • CMGragain said:
    This is only my personal opinion.'
    I am religious.  I like traditional weddings held in church.  To me, this emphasizes the importance of the vows the couple says in the presence of their families, and in a building dedicated to the worship of God. A church wedding puts the emphasis on the ceremony - where it belongs, not on the party and open bar. The idea of Hobbits running around in a forest or fairy tale princesses has nothing to do with my own ideas of what a wedding signifies. I do realize that many people do not share my beliefs or views, but perhaps this explains them.  I feel that themes cheapen the meaning of the ceremony that changes the lives of the couple who is being married.  JMHO.
    I am not at all religious and am not getting married in a church but I completely agree with you.  OTT themes almost make a mockery of what is supposed to be a hugely momentous and serious day in someone's life.  That's not to say that a wedding can't be peppered with levity and humor, or be tailored to the couple, but there's a difference between doing that and turning your wedding into a LARP.
    Aaaaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhh!!! Finally!!! People who make sense!

    I've only been engaged for a month, and all I get is what are your colors whats this what's that? I honestly had a family member tell me that the most important part of a wedding is the food you serve to your guests! Ha!

    Honestly, I love my fiance. All I want to do is have a teeny little ceremony with my closest relatives and friends and then celebrate with a nice dinner. And that's exactly what's gonna happen. The most important part is that we're GETTING MARRIED!! HAhahaha I was the first one to tell my fiance that if planning a wedding became stressful or negative we could ditch the whole shindig and just go to the courthouse. All that matters is that we love eachother.

    People are just crazy.

  • I can live with theme weddings - if it suits the couple and it's at the right setting. If you want to marry in leaves while in the forest, go right ahead. I may roll my eyes behind your back, but fine. You do the cosplay fun at a convention - ok, I actually would do just that if the families wouldn't have meltdowns and I rather enjoy the formality. I can sneak my steampunk love in without it being a badly done costume party.

    But, you have the traditional religious ceremony - follow those traditions please. Having a religious ceremony while wearing an Elmo costume just seems all kinds of wrong.

    I don't mind a theme being in the reception overly. As long as you follow basic etiquette and treat your guests well, have at it.

    BTW - forcing your guests into costumes is not treating them well. I don't care how you want the pictures to look. If you're having the cosplay wedding, don't force your guests into formal evening wear. If you're having a traditional wedding, don't force your guests into Elmo suits.

    I pick on cosplay as it's what I know.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • I have a friend who is doing a Halloween wedding. It's not my taste and I think she should just have a wedding and then a Halloween party, but you can bet your sweet ass I want to go to a wedding dressed in costume! 

    I did have to talk her down from requiring people dress in costume, and instead have costume pieces available at the reception. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    @abbyj700 I think that the eye roll from @CMGragain is simply to emphasize how over the top this "theme" is, not to disrespect her "beliefs".

  • People asked me this all the dang time before my wedding!  It was frustrating because I had no idea how to respond.  There was a "feel" I was going for - but only because the resort we got married at was built in the late 20s and has really strong art deco design elements, so our menus we made, invites, programs, were art deco ishhh.  But then when i mentioned this, some people actually asked me if my wedding gown would be like a flapper dress.  What the actual eff.
    image
  • abbyj700 said:
    CMGragain said:
    There is a bride on Attire right now who is dressing like an elvish princess.  Her FI wants to wear a tailcoat and top hat with a feather in it.  She is worried that his gold vest will clash with her silver jewelry.  (Eye roll)
    With all do respect - why the eye roll? 

    I guess it is snarky brides, but this woman isn't hurting anyone. She has your beliefs, so do you. I find most of Christianity absurd- but putting an eye roll to your comment would be rude of me and I'm sure you and others would be offended.

    Just a thought that you can have your beliefs - but that doesn't make them the only thing that is right.
    Couldn't agree more.  I personally (as a non religious person... obviously)  have absolutely no idea what church has to do with weddings, but then I'm all, "if you're religious, feel free to get married in a church, if you're a Tolkien nerd, dress like an elf"  it's your party, as they say. 
    image
    hellohkb
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I can live with theme weddings - if it suits the couple and it's at the right setting. If you want to marry in leaves while in the forest, go right ahead. I may roll my eyes behind your back, but fine. You do the cosplay fun at a convention - ok, I actually would do just that if the families wouldn't have meltdowns and I rather enjoy the formality. I can sneak my steampunk love in without it being a badly done costume party. But, you have the traditional religious ceremony - follow those traditions please. Having a religious ceremony while wearing an Elmo costume just seems all kinds of wrong. I don't mind a theme being in the reception overly. As long as you follow basic etiquette and treat your guests well, have at it. BTW - forcing your guests into costumes is not treating them well. I don't care how you want the pictures to look. If you're having the cosplay wedding, don't force your guests into formal evening wear. If you're having a traditional wedding, don't force your guests into Elmo suits. I pick on cosplay as it's what I know.
    I just had a vision of a bridezilla that forces her bridesmaids into Elmo costumes so she'll be more attractive than them...*snort*

    PrettyGirlLostAmyzen83
  • For me, being the religious one who happily cosplays - I see them as different. I'm not wearing my Victorian Huntress outfit to Sunday service at home because it doesn't exactly suit. I know that outfit, especially when with DF in his Gentleman Rabbit outfit, is just going to attract attention in extreme excess in daily life. It's odd. It attracts attention when at conventions. Doing that in a House of God seems just wrong.

    I am not a member of a highly conservative church at all. If we attend the Tuesday lunch service, the Wednesday night program service/dinner, the Saturday evening or Sunday noon services, jeans and sneakers are normal. But, I'm still not dressing like I'm going to a convention then.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited March 2014
    antoto said:
    abbyj700 said:
    CMGragain said:
    There is a bride on Attire right now who is dressing like an elvish princess.  Her FI wants to wear a tailcoat and top hat with a feather in it.  She is worried that his gold vest will clash with her silver jewelry.  (Eye roll)
    With all do respect - why the eye roll? 

    I guess it is snarky brides, but this woman isn't hurting anyone. She has your beliefs, so do you. I find most of Christianity absurd- but putting an eye roll to your comment would be rude of me and I'm sure you and others would be offended.

    Just a thought that you can have your beliefs - but that doesn't make them the only thing that is right.
    Couldn't agree more.  I personally (as a non religious person... obviously)  have absolutely no idea what church has to do with weddings, but then I'm all, "if you're religious, feel free to get married in a church, if you're a Tolkien nerd, dress like an elf"  it's your party, as they say. 
    No, it is not your party.  It is not your day. It is your wedding.  This is what makes over the top themes so offensive to many people.  The themes detract from the importance of the wedding. 
    Have all the cosplay parties you want.  Both my adult kids do this.  It is harmless fun, until it starts spilling over into the real world.  I even helped them make costumes when they were younger.
    I was reading Tolkein when your parents were in diapers.  It is wonderful fantasy FICTION.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    emmaaaPrettyGirlLostAmyzen83luckysnorkel
  • CMGragain said:
    antoto said:
    abbyj700 said:
    CMGragain said:
    There is a bride on Attire right now who is dressing like an elvish princess.  Her FI wants to wear a tailcoat and top hat with a feather in it.  She is worried that his gold vest will clash with her silver jewelry.  (Eye roll)
    With all do respect - why the eye roll? 

    I guess it is snarky brides, but this woman isn't hurting anyone. She has your beliefs, so do you. I find most of Christianity absurd- but putting an eye roll to your comment would be rude of me and I'm sure you and others would be offended.

    Just a thought that you can have your beliefs - but that doesn't make them the only thing that is right.
    Couldn't agree more.  I personally (as a non religious person... obviously)  have absolutely no idea what church has to do with weddings, but then I'm all, "if you're religious, feel free to get married in a church, if you're a Tolkien nerd, dress like an elf"  it's your party, as they say. 
    No, it is not your party.  It is not your day. It is your wedding.  This is what makes over the top themes so offensive to many people.  The themes detract from the importance of the wedding. 
    Have all the cosplay parties you want.  Both my adult kids do this.  It is harmless fun, until it starts spilling over into the real world.  I even helped them make costumes when they were younger.
    I was reading Tolkein when your parents were in diapers.  It is wonderful fantasy FICTION.
    Yes - and to many the bible is a book of fiction, and the church has nothing to do with a legally binding marriage. You can judge these people and say that them dressing differently takes away from the importance of the wedding and some may take offense. I could say the same about organized religions - but again - that would be highly rude. And your religion adds to the importance of your marriage and wedding- as does themes and such for some people.
    antotohellohkb
  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    CMGragain said:
    antoto said:
    abbyj700 said:
    CMGragain said:
    There is a bride on Attire right now who is dressing like an elvish princess.  Her FI wants to wear a tailcoat and top hat with a feather in it.  She is worried that his gold vest will clash with her silver jewelry.  (Eye roll)
    With all do respect - why the eye roll? 

    I guess it is snarky brides, but this woman isn't hurting anyone. She has your beliefs, so do you. I find most of Christianity absurd- but putting an eye roll to your comment would be rude of me and I'm sure you and others would be offended.

    Just a thought that you can have your beliefs - but that doesn't make them the only thing that is right.
    Couldn't agree more.  I personally (as a non religious person... obviously)  have absolutely no idea what church has to do with weddings, but then I'm all, "if you're religious, feel free to get married in a church, if you're a Tolkien nerd, dress like an elf"  it's your party, as they say. 
    No, it is not your party.  It is not your day. It is your wedding.  This is what makes over the top themes so offensive to many people.  The themes detract from the importance of the wedding. 
    Have all the cosplay parties you want.  Both my adult kids do this.  It is harmless fun, until it starts spilling over into the real world.  I even helped them make costumes when they were younger.
    I was reading Tolkein when your parents were in diapers.  It is wonderful fantasy FICTION.
    I'm not into the whole cosplay thing and honestly, I don't really understand the appeal BUT - some people are more comfortable in that role than in their own, every day life. The ceremony itself is about the bride and groom and if that's how they want to express their love to each other, what's the harm? Not everyone gets married in a church. Not everyone is religious. I'm certainly not and I'm not going to pretend that I am on my wedding day. FI went to Catholic school, went through confirmation and has firmly resolved in his adult life to never attend church again due to personal beliefs. He's not going to pretend on his wedding day either. We're getting married at a winery because we love wine and we spend at least one weekend a month going wine tasting. How is that any different than a couple who engages in cosplay wanting to represent themselves in their ceremony? As long as they are gracious and host their guests well, why does it matter? I'd rather look at pictures a couple who dresses the way that they'd like for their wedding and look genuinely happy than a couple who puts on a dress and tux to appease the masses and look miserable.
    hellohkb
  • Abbyj700 said  "Yes - and to many the bible is a book of fiction, and the church has nothing to do with a legally binding marriage. You can judge these people and say that them dressing differently takes away from the importance of the wedding and some may take offense. I could say the same about organized religions - but again - that would be highly rude. And your religion adds to the importance of your marriage and 'wedding- as does themes and such for some people."

    You obviously did not read my original post.  I do not understand why you are focusing on religion.  I said nothing about church and religion being necessary to a proper wedding.  Most of my family was married in a courthouse ceremony.  Their weddings were very nice.  No one was offended.

    The Bible is not a book.  It is a collection of historical papers that were written over a period of  more than 1000 years.  How can this be fiction?  TLOTR was written by J.R.R. Tolkein in the 20th century.  You are comparing apples and oranges.  I don't think that you should comment about religion when you, yourself, have admitted that you know very little about it.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Amyzen83
  • CMGragain said:
    Abbyj700 said  "Yes - and to many the bible is a book of fiction, and the church has nothing to do with a legally binding marriage. You can judge these people and say that them dressing differently takes away from the importance of the wedding and some may take offense. I could say the same about organized religions - but again - that would be highly rude. And your religion adds to the importance of your marriage and 'wedding- as does themes and such for some people."

    You obviously did not read my original post.  I do not understand why you are focusing on religion.  I said nothing about church and religion being necessary to a proper wedding.  Most of my family was married in a courthouse ceremony.  Their weddings were very nice.  No one was offended.

    The Bible is not a book.  It is a collection of historical papers that were written over a period of  more than 1000 years.  How can this be fiction?  TLOTR was written by J.R.R. Tolkein in the 20th century.  You are comparing apples and oranges.  I don't think that you should comment about religion when you, yourself, have admitted that you know very little about it.
    No where have I stated I know very little about the bible or Christianity. I'm not really sure where you got that idea from.

    How can the bible be fiction? I'm sure you don't need a discussion on several of the books and stories of the bible to see where things can be seen as fiction and not historical fact. 

    Yes -TLOTR is fiction. Doesn't make the bible not. 

    Courthouse, church, TLORT theme - none of them changes the validity of the wedding.  None of them "detract form the importance of the wedding" as you stated. 
    cupcait927hellohkb
  • This board is cracking me up. Going to put my fingers in my ears (or over my eyes) and ignore the church vs. hobbits thing that seems to have arisen.

    After being together for 15 years, our wedding next month is so important to me and my fiancee. We're both from Philadelphia and have lived there our whole lives. We wish we could get married in Philly and take lots of fun Philly pics but marriage equality is not legal in PA, so we are driving down to Delaware to get married. We could have gotten married in DE and then celebrated in PA but we decided to do everything in one place.

    We don't really have a theme other than, "OMG! I can't believe we are actually going to be legally married. Let's hope they don't take it back!" My partner loves the LOVE statue though and so we had a similar logo on our invitations and will have a LOVE cake topper. That's it. It's our little homage to Philadelphia.

    We don't have "colors." When my nieces tried on flower girl dresses, the oldest niece looked especially pretty in the purple, so we made the younger niece try that dress on and settled on purple. The only other things that are going to be purple are the men's ties and pocket squares. The flowers in the centerpieces are going to be white, as are all of the linens.

    I don't know if we are so focused on simplicity because we've been waiting so long to do this and really want to focus to be on the marriage or if it would have been this way regardless of timing.

    That Hunger Games wedding is killing me.  I'm imaging that discussion... "The Hunger Games is about oppression! Let's make our wedding a tribute to that!"
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    abbyj700Amyzen83ADoyle16
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    For me, being the religious one who happily cosplays - I see them as different. I'm not wearing my Victorian Huntress outfit to Sunday service at home because it doesn't exactly suit. I know that outfit, especially when with DF in his Gentleman Rabbit outfit, is just going to attract attention in extreme excess in daily life. It's odd. It attracts attention when at conventions. Doing that in a House of God seems just wrong.

    I am not a member of a highly conservative church at all. If we attend the Tuesday lunch service, the Wednesday night program service/dinner, the Saturday evening or Sunday noon services, jeans and sneakers are normal. But, I'm still not dressing like I'm going to a convention then.

    Can I please see some of your costumes?! How long have you been cosplaying?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Amyzen83Marzipan13
  • I don't post any publicly, sorry! My ex got too stalker crazy, so it's an old habit.

    Been involved since I was 20 or so. Family thinks it's normal. Then again, family is also shocked we aren't metal headbanging everything at times. As in my dear 70 year old aunt sent me YouTube clip to see why we weren't using more metal.



    Tho I'm very open to using about the first 2 minutes and 30 seconds about.
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I don't post any publicly, sorry!
    So can you PM me your Victorian Huntress at least?!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • hellohkbhellohkb mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    edited March 2014
    I'm all for doing what you feel comfortable (as long as your guests are properly hosted). If people have an elfish wedding and wish to dress up as elves, go for it. I don't understand how someone's attire takes away from the seriousness of vows. My FH and I aren't "traditional" at all and are always clowning around. Who knows what he is going to show up wearing. To give you an idea of what FH likes for formalwear, he saw a man get married in rainbow polka-dot pants on the show "My Cat from Hell" and went nuts because he loved it. Yeah. 

    The bottom line is, if there are things that are important to the couple and make them feel comfortable and feel like themselves, how does that cheapen the wedding? If FH and I had to be ultra traditional and ultra serious, it would not be us. THAT would cheapen it for us. I will love my FH and our wedding will be a wonderful moment for us no matter if he wears a tux or a rainbow print pantsuit.


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    jdluvr06cupcait927kkitkat79
  • Next time I wear it, I'll get pictures of just me and Mr AllOn. Or just me. All the pictures I have are with DD in her kicking ass Red Riding Hood costume, and there's no way I will put her pictures online.

    I'll see if I can't dig up the sketches, those were pretty accurate. I started with modification to a Sense & Sensibility pattern, made a bow, then a quiver that had feathers on top to look like arrows. Inside is empty, so I can carry my gear. Have a small bag that's a Beagle. I carry it, Red rolls it. Everything DD needs is in that. Then steampunk it to the end. Add a Gentleman Rabbit - leather rabbit mask with Victorian proper outfit, steampunk that also. Red likes to make the puppy "chase" the bunny until bunny is caught and Red gets to ride on his shoulders.

    Honestly, the Huntress only works with a Gentleman Rabbit to me.
    abbyj700
  • miqehlmiqehl member
    Second Anniversary First Comment
    edited March 2014
    Were doing a DR.Who theme. most of it is just "touches" here and there... but our invites have a tardis motif, our officiant is wearing the classic Matt Smith fez and mop combo..(his choice, he literally squeeled and "went all fangirl" on our wedding), and our flower girls will be tossing little yarn Adipose instead of flowers.
    We ARE doing pretty heavily themed engagement photos, but that is because its what we want and our photographer is also Whovian. :)
    InkdancerhellohkbKeptInStitcheschibiyui
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