Pre-wedding Parties

What was she thinking?!

My bridal shower is this Saturday, and my wedding is April 5th.
The fact that my FI and I had a very short courtship before getting engaged has raised a few eyebrows, but for the most part people understand.
There have, however, been a few snarky "are you pregnant" comments. This irritates me because my FI and I took a vow of celibacy. I can handle this, though, because you can't control what other people think.

One person, however, makes me want to push her off a bridge. My mother's nut-job of a friend. She actually informed me she will be bringing a pack of baby diapers to the shower as my gift! She told me, "They never expire, and you can never have too many." I asked her to wait and bring something like that to a baby shower because we want to wait a few years before starting a family, but she just repeated herself.

What would you do in this situation?

Re: What was she thinking?!

  • I'd ignore her. If she does this, she'll look crazy and rude. You can accept them graciously, using HisGirl's line about the local women's shelter, and move on.
  • I'd tell her, 'How kind of you! FI and I love giving to the local pregnancy centre, and this is just the kind of donation they always need! How truly kind of you to give us something we can use to bless someone else in their time of need. You clearly know how important charitable giving is to us, and this helps us be charitable.' Because people who are assholes do not deserve to be coddled in their asshole behaviour.
    This is awesome.


  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    My mom got engaged in October, decided to get married in December while friends and family were home. They had so many pregnant comments. She then waited six years to have kids and had to deal with the "why aren't you having kids" questions.

    I love hisgirl's response

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • @HisGirlFriday13 Well, this might be my favorite response to anything ever.
  • Why do people always jump to that?! I'm frickin' 30 years old, dated FI for over a year when we got engaged, set a wedding date 9 for months later, and all we hear is "so when's the baby due?" Even if ANYTHING we did screamed "shotgun wedding," which it DOESN'T, don't people get how horribly rude, inappropriate, and hurtful those comments are when you have no idea if a couple is even capable of having kids, or wants to, or yeah, might actually be pregnant, or is terrified of being pregnant, or anything else... ugh. Just hate it. And then the "so, wedding in September means baby in June, right?" remarks... how is one supposed to respond to that, exactly? "Lawd willin' and the crick don't rise," perhaps?!

    Sorry, no helpful advice as I clearly haven't figured out how to deal with those people, but I like His Girl's suggestion. :)

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I would make sure that 'friend' wasn't on the wedding shower guest list. If she mentions it, tell her you'll invite her the baby shower, whenever that may be. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I love @HisGirlFriday13's response if it turns out she's actually there.  If you can keep this nutjob from being on the guest list, as @MairePoppy suggests, that's also a good idea.

    If you have to keep dealing with the question of "Are you pregnant?" you can respond, "I'll forgive you for asking me this if you'll forgive me for not answering."
  • I also love HisGirlFriday13's response. It's very polite and to top things off, you'll be helping out a local charity in need. You'll look like the hero & she'll look like the zero. I know if I went to a bridal shower, if someone gave the bride diapers I would be looking at the gift as odd, even if the bride was pregnant. Save the diapers for the baby shower

  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Since you already had your shower, I just wanted to see if you could update us on what she gave you.
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