Three weeks to go, and I feel FAT

kitsunegari89

     Guys, help! I just got out of the most horrendous fitting (next to last) for my dress, and they were so mean and impatient with me and my dress was pulling and not how it was supposed to look and I was all pinned and uncomfortable, and I didn't FEEL like a bride should feel. There were too many salespeople telling me what they thought and one person handed me chicken cutlets to stuff down my bra RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IT WAS SO AWKWARD! I spent the rest of the afternoon with my MOH drinking champagne and watching Frozen. I normally am comfortable with my body, but today I just wanted to disappear. My waist looked huge, and my arms looked all bulgey coming out of my lace cap sleeves that were supposed to soften the blow of how big my arms are (I guess they're not huge, but they feel huge). My measurements are 38-28-40

Am I just having a bad day? I blame the bitchy fossilized salespeople. Do they even make old uptown ladies like that anymore? Jesus H Christ.
I just want to feel beautiful in my dress for like 5 fucking seconds and everyone is ruining it for me. I just feel tense and awkward. I can't wait for alterations to be done so I won't have to deal with this shop anymore. I wish I had taken it to someone else even though they are technically doing it for free. They are extracting their pound of flesh in the form of my self-esteem.


-end rant-

Inkdancer

:c I'm sorry, sweetie.

I would definitely be saying something to the shop manager. It is their job to make you feel amazing and gorgeous, or at the very least be nice!

FiancB

It might be worth it to take it in to somewhere else for some minor alterations. It's amazing what a good seamstress can do. Even though my alterations unfortunately weren't free, I'm considering doing the same because my dress just looks... odd. 

kitsunegari89

I am taking it home next appointment whether they've fixed it or not. I do know a good seamstress that can fix it if need be.

ElcaB

I'm sorry you had a shitty experience. That's the worst, especially when you're this close to your final fitting. 

How did so many people end up with you? If you felt uncomfortable, I don't think it's out of line for you to say so. For your next fitting, request it just be you & the tailor/seamstress in the room with no one else. (It also wouldn't hurt to have a mimosa or two beforehand.)

Did anyone go to that appointment with you, like a friend or family member? What did they have to say about the fit of your dress?

edandy

What a bunch of crap! Take it to another seamstress and bring someone who will support you. 

climbingsingle

I'm really sorry you had such a bad experience. Screw them! 

kitsunegari89

ElcaB said:

I'm sorry you had a shitty experience. That's the worst, especially when you're this close to your final fitting. 

How did so many people end up with you? If you felt uncomfortable, I don't think it's out of line for you to say so. For your next fitting, request it just be you & the tailor/seamstress in the room with no one else. (It also wouldn't hurt to have a mimosa or two beforehand.)

Did anyone go to that appointment with you, like a friend or family member? What did they have to say about the fit of your dress?

I'm not entirely certain about why so many people were around me yesterday, but I'm pretty sure it has to do with the fact that they want me to take the dress home ASAP. So essentially I'm being bullied. The shop owner even was pressuring me to take it home though the lace in the back of the dress was gapping and bunching as it needed two darts. My aunt and mother came with me. My aunt is a clothing designer from San Francisco, and knows her shit. She was my champion, and I could not have done it without her. The seamstresses were very nice, but the shop owner kept essentially dragging them out so they could not help me. It was upsetting and so absurd! I trust the seamstresses to do the right thing, and will request that only they are present next time. I don't do well with high-pressure tactics. The shop ladies are also pretty pissed that I have not bought anything else from them. I got my veil online and a GORGEOUS OMG 1923 wax-flower crown on Etsy that the kindest sweetest girl shipped all the way from the UK, wrapped in bubble wrap, insured and with tracking. Thankfully, both of those items came in after the fitting, so I was able to at least enjoy that while I sipped my champagne and tried to unwind. I've been so careful about avoiding becoming a bridezilla that I've become something worse: THE PUSHOVER BRIDE. I will endeavor to take less shit from people in the future. Luckily my mom, my aunt, and my MOH had enough bitchy to go around at the bridal shop. Otherwise I might have cried and run out of the place.

I am very superstitious, and my aunt understands me completely. After I pick up the dress, we are having it blessed and sprinkled with holy water to remove any bad mojo the bitchy shopgirls might have left on it.

happymellow

Sounds like you have a good support system.  I'm sorry you had to go through that.  Often, I, too, take the path of least resistance in fear of being a bridezilla, but I think you'd be excused in this case.  There are times we have to stand up for ourselves.  There are worse things to be than a bridezilla, and being unhappy in your dress because you didn't want to stir up trouble is one of them.  Look them in the eye and don't take no for an answer when you go back. 

edandy

I don't think it makes you a bridezilla to expect to be treated kindly and have a service you are paying for done correctly, esp since most wedding dresses are super expensive. If I owned a store you bet your ass I would be the sweetest person ever to persuade people to buy my shit!

Epottle

I know you're so close to your wedding date but check out my new youtube channel! I'll be documenting my wedding weightless as well as my journey to the altar! Check it out! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWkj35NGZAg

CaliMel11

Okay you are the same measurements as me! I might have a little extra weight on me, but you are certainly not "fat" if you are built how I am.
you didn't say how tall you are, but I am guessing we are similar stature.

For one thing, are your undergarments the right size? I found out last weekend that david's bridal sized me wrong. I'm supposed to have a size 38 undergarment, and they gave me a 36. Which sure, it techincally "Fits" after cramming myself into it, but it also makes me look like I have a huge gut and horrible back fat, when I do not have either of those things, because it squishes all my skin and stuff up and down.
That can make a major difference in how things fit.

That shop sounds awful and I'm so sorry that this happened to you. =(

kitsunegari89

CaliMel11 said:

Okay you are the same measurements as me! I might have a little extra weight on me, but you are certainly not "fat" if you are built how I am.
you didn't say how tall you are, but I am guessing we are similar stature.

For one thing, are your undergarments the right size? I found out last weekend that david's bridal sized me wrong. I'm supposed to have a size 38 undergarment, and they gave me a 36. Which sure, it techincally "Fits" after cramming myself into it, but it also makes me look like I have a huge gut and horrible back fat, when I do not have either of those things, because it squishes all my skin and stuff up and down.
That can make a major difference in how things fit.

That shop sounds awful and I'm so sorry that this happened to you. =(

I'm 5'2'' 0_0 Also I just realized my waist is 26, now! I haven't been measured in like forever. I took up running pretty recently, so that's probably it. No changes on the hip and bust front. I'd like a smaller rear, but no amount of squats will change my genetic tendency to hoard fat there. C'est la vie!

I'm not skinny, of course, but I never think of myself as "fat" either. There are lots of folks both bigger and heavier than I am. Plus I run circles around people, so they probably think of me as smaller than I really am since I'm so type A. I don't have to wear shapewear with my dress because it has built-in everything. My bra is amazeballs. I kindof wish the waist of the dress was tighter because I feel like I could probably suck it in a bit more. There is an inner corset with boning and elastic, the whole nine yards. Maybe I'm overreacting. I tend to make value judgements on myself when people  are mean to me when I really should react outwardly towards them. I might end up taking the dress to my neighborhood seamstress who warned me about this place and I was too dumb to listen to her.

CaliMel11

I would definitely take it over to her! A good seamstress will be able to help you out.

PPDkilla

mrshutzler said:

     Guys, help! I just got out of the most horrendous fitting (next to last) for my dress, and they were so mean and impatient with me and my dress was pulling and not how it was supposed to look and I was all pinned and uncomfortable, and I didn't FEEL like a bride should feel. There were too many salespeople telling me what they thought and one person handed me chicken cutlets to stuff down my bra RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IT WAS SO AWKWARD! I spent the rest of the afternoon with my MOH drinking champagne and watching Frozen. I normally am comfortable with my body, but today I just wanted to disappear. My waist looked huge, and my arms looked all bulgey coming out of my lace cap sleeves that were supposed to soften the blow of how big my arms are (I guess they're not huge, but they feel huge). My measurements are 38-28-40

Am I just having a bad day? I blame the bitchy fossilized salespeople. Do they even make old uptown ladies like that anymore? Jesus H Christ.
I just want to feel beautiful in my dress for like 5 fucking seconds and everyone is ruining it for me. I just feel tense and awkward. I can't wait for alterations to be done so I won't have to deal with this shop anymore. I wish I had taken it to someone else even though they are technically doing it for free. They are extracting their pound of flesh in the form of my self-esteem.


-end rant-

You read my mind; I feel the EXACT same way with 17 days to go. I too have lace capped sleeves to minimze my squishyness, and I just look like a big dumb cupcake.

I'm chalking it up to hormones and avoiding cupcakes...and any other sweets. I hope this feeling goes away for BOTH of us!

kitsunegari89

PPDkilla said:

mrshutzler said:

     Guys, help! I just got out of the most horrendous fitting (next to last) for my dress, and they were so mean and impatient with me and my dress was pulling and not how it was supposed to look and I was all pinned and uncomfortable, and I didn't FEEL like a bride should feel. There were too many salespeople telling me what they thought and one person handed me chicken cutlets to stuff down my bra RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IT WAS SO AWKWARD! I spent the rest of the afternoon with my MOH drinking champagne and watching Frozen. I normally am comfortable with my body, but today I just wanted to disappear. My waist looked huge, and my arms looked all bulgey coming out of my lace cap sleeves that were supposed to soften the blow of how big my arms are (I guess they're not huge, but they feel huge). My measurements are 38-28-40

Am I just having a bad day? I blame the bitchy fossilized salespeople. Do they even make old uptown ladies like that anymore? Jesus H Christ.
I just want to feel beautiful in my dress for like 5 fucking seconds and everyone is ruining it for me. I just feel tense and awkward. I can't wait for alterations to be done so I won't have to deal with this shop anymore. I wish I had taken it to someone else even though they are technically doing it for free. They are extracting their pound of flesh in the form of my self-esteem.


-end rant-

You read my mind; I feel the EXACT same way with 17 days to go. I too have lace capped sleeves to minimze my squishyness, and I just look like a big dumb cupcake.

I'm chalking it up to hormones and avoiding cupcakes...and any other sweets. I hope this feeling goes away for BOTH of us!

I also look like a giant cupcake! Seriously, let's be friends. I'm not that big, never have been, but have always had large upper arms due to physical activities and genetics. Great grandma had my exact arms and build (smaller waist, large bosom and very stocky with thick legs). My dad says I am a "sturdy" girl. Thanks, daddy...

I am going to either have to lose more weight at the last second or have my sleeves let out slightly. I can't raise my arms!!! It's really upsetting! The lace is so scratchy!

PPDkilla

mrshutzler said:

PPDkilla said:

mrshutzler said:

     Guys, help! I just got out of the most horrendous fitting (next to last) for my dress, and they were so mean and impatient with me and my dress was pulling and not how it was supposed to look and I was all pinned and uncomfortable, and I didn't FEEL like a bride should feel. There were too many salespeople telling me what they thought and one person handed me chicken cutlets to stuff down my bra RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IT WAS SO AWKWARD! I spent the rest of the afternoon with my MOH drinking champagne and watching Frozen. I normally am comfortable with my body, but today I just wanted to disappear. My waist looked huge, and my arms looked all bulgey coming out of my lace cap sleeves that were supposed to soften the blow of how big my arms are (I guess they're not huge, but they feel huge). My measurements are 38-28-40

Am I just having a bad day? I blame the bitchy fossilized salespeople. Do they even make old uptown ladies like that anymore? Jesus H Christ.
I just want to feel beautiful in my dress for like 5 fucking seconds and everyone is ruining it for me. I just feel tense and awkward. I can't wait for alterations to be done so I won't have to deal with this shop anymore. I wish I had taken it to someone else even though they are technically doing it for free. They are extracting their pound of flesh in the form of my self-esteem.


-end rant-

You read my mind; I feel the EXACT same way with 17 days to go. I too have lace capped sleeves to minimze my squishyness, and I just look like a big dumb cupcake.

I'm chalking it up to hormones and avoiding cupcakes...and any other sweets. I hope this feeling goes away for BOTH of us!

I also look like a giant cupcake! Seriously, let's be friends. I'm not that big, never have been, but have always had large upper arms due to physical activities and genetics. Great grandma had my exact arms and build (smaller waist, large bosom and very stocky with thick legs). My dad says I am a "sturdy" girl. Thanks, daddy...

I am going to either have to lose more weight at the last second or have my sleeves let out slightly. I can't raise my arms!!! It's really upsetting! The lace is so scratchy!

HAHA yes!! I get that too, you "you wear your weight so well. PSHHH. I'm 5'9", and I've got a big butt and thighs and a mostly flat stomach; not bad, but it catches attention. My dress is tea length so I'm staring at myself in a mini ball gown with wiry chicken legs thinking, "Um this is so NOT what I was envisioning" I'm gonna suck it up and wear it because I'm too lazy to go on a dress pilgrammage, but I am currently perusing the best rated hip shapers (i.e Victorian corsets), telling myself also that "yes, you'll see results from push-ups in 17 days - ya know to calm the fatty in my head down. UGH.

Do you think it's true that tanning makes them look slimmer? Lol.

kitsunegari89

PPDkilla said:

mrshutzler said:

PPDkilla said:

mrshutzler said:

     Guys, help! I just got out of the most horrendous fitting (next to last) for my dress, and they were so mean and impatient with me and my dress was pulling and not how it was supposed to look and I was all pinned and uncomfortable, and I didn't FEEL like a bride should feel. There were too many salespeople telling me what they thought and one person handed me chicken cutlets to stuff down my bra RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IT WAS SO AWKWARD! I spent the rest of the afternoon with my MOH drinking champagne and watching Frozen. I normally am comfortable with my body, but today I just wanted to disappear. My waist looked huge, and my arms looked all bulgey coming out of my lace cap sleeves that were supposed to soften the blow of how big my arms are (I guess they're not huge, but they feel huge). My measurements are 38-28-40

Am I just having a bad day? I blame the bitchy fossilized salespeople. Do they even make old uptown ladies like that anymore? Jesus H Christ.
I just want to feel beautiful in my dress for like 5 fucking seconds and everyone is ruining it for me. I just feel tense and awkward. I can't wait for alterations to be done so I won't have to deal with this shop anymore. I wish I had taken it to someone else even though they are technically doing it for free. They are extracting their pound of flesh in the form of my self-esteem.


-end rant-

You read my mind; I feel the EXACT same way with 17 days to go. I too have lace capped sleeves to minimze my squishyness, and I just look like a big dumb cupcake.

I'm chalking it up to hormones and avoiding cupcakes...and any other sweets. I hope this feeling goes away for BOTH of us!

I also look like a giant cupcake! Seriously, let's be friends. I'm not that big, never have been, but have always had large upper arms due to physical activities and genetics. Great grandma had my exact arms and build (smaller waist, large bosom and very stocky with thick legs). My dad says I am a "sturdy" girl. Thanks, daddy...

I am going to either have to lose more weight at the last second or have my sleeves let out slightly. I can't raise my arms!!! It's really upsetting! The lace is so scratchy!

HAHA yes!! I get that too, you "you wear your weight so well. PSHHH. I'm 5'9", and I've got a big butt and thighs and a mostly flat stomach; not bad, but it catches attention. My dress is tea length so I'm staring at myself in a mini ball gown with wiry chicken legs thinking, "Um this is so NOT what I was envisioning" I'm gonna suck it up and wear it because I'm too lazy to go on a dress pilgrammage, but I am currently perusing the best rated hip shapers (i.e Victorian corsets), telling myself also that "yes, you'll see results from push-ups in 17 days - ya know to calm the fatty in my head down. UGH.

Do you think it's true that tanning makes them look slimmer? Lol.

I don't know if tanning makes them appear slimmer but handweights have helped me tone mine so they don't wobble. I do this thing where I hold the weights behind me and try to move my arms upwards in small motions to work out my triceps. It's a pain, but it works wonders very quickly. Silly picture, but this is what I've been doing:



Also, I know this sounds ridic, but I ALWAYS take water pills before big events to de-puff my face and body. Bodybuilders use them before shows so their muscles look more defined. I use MHP-XPpel max. The results with it are subtle, but it might make you feel more confidant. Also, your FI is marrying you for how you currently look, not how you WISH you looked. I have to tell myself this every day. If he thought I was an ugly troll we would not have gotten this far. GOOD LUCK!

kitsunegari89

Okay, I woke up today feeling attractive! Yay! I picked up my dress last week from the shop and brought it to a different seamstress in my neighborhood who clicked her tongue and looked appropriately shocked when I told her the horrors I have endured. Apparently they did not take the waist in properly... it's tight on my back, and flares out where the smallest point of my waist is, which makes the dress want to creep down while I'm wearing it (ballgown silhouette). This caused me to look much bigger there than I actually am. She is fixing that and also lowering the armhole since they had to take the shoulders up so much. She hugged me and is only charging me $100. God bless America. I feel 1000% better now. Today I'm going to go try it on again. If it looks good, I will have approximately nothing to worry about until April 5.

Inkdancer

Yay! So glad that a good seamstress is fixing it for you. You're going to be gorgeous.

(Pics or it didn't happen, remember?)

cms519

I'm so sorry you are feeling so crummy.

When I had my first fitting, the seamstress said to me, "Well, you are a bigger girl but..." I have no idea what the rest of that sentence was because I was in a daze from being called fat by the seamstress!

I'm 5'4.  No idea what my measurements are but I typically wear a size 12 dress. I think my wedding dress is something ridiculous like an 18!

I've thought about losing weight for the wedding but have done nothing about it in the 8 months I've been planning so losing weight now seems like a lost cause. After having 2 fittings, it also seems pointless. Some pushups or free weights might help me feel better about my arms but frankly, I don't see that happening in the next 30 days! My fiancee loves me the way I am and I'm trying to comfort myself with that knowledge!

Hang in there!

kitsunegari89

I tried me dress on today, and it fits perfectly!!!!! OMG SUCH A RELIEF! I actually look good in it. True story. Will post pix asap.

larrygaga

Also, I had a thought. Maybe sometimes women and bitchy in bridal shops because they are single?

CamiSelene

@larrygaga, good point! I remember the manager of the bridal shop I ordered my dress through was uber bitchy at the beginning (was nicer later and now I actually quite like her) but I later found out that she had just recently gotten divorced. I'd be bitchy too.

msdidonato

@CMS519  I am the exact same as you. Wear a size 12 jeans comfortable... ended up ordering a size 18 dress.  After the shock, I was okay with it.  

Inkdancer

msdidonato said:

@CMS519  I am the exact same as you. Wear a size 12 jeans comfortable... ended up ordering a size 18 dress.  After the shock, I was okay with it.  

I have only ever heard this from brides. Almost everyone ends up in something that has a much bigger number than their usual size.

But I ended up buying a size 20 dress when I usually wear a 24! I have to say, that gave me a bit of glee.

cms519

Inkdancer said:

msdidonato said:

@CMS519  I am the exact same as you. Wear a size 12 jeans comfortable... ended up ordering a size 18 dress.  After the shock, I was okay with it.  

I have only ever heard this from brides. Almost everyone ends up in something that has a much bigger number than their usual size.

But I ended up buying a size 20 dress when I usually wear a 24! I have to say, that gave me a bit of glee.

I've heard that bridal sizes are generally two sizes smaller than typical sizes. I'm just pretending there was no size. They've had to do so many alterations that it's not any standard size at this point!

kitsunegari89

HEY GUYS!!!! Everything turned out fine!!!!! wooooooo!!!!! leaving for the USVI tomorrow!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

cms519

mrshutzler said:

HEY GUYS!!!! Everything turned out fine!!!!! wooooooo!!!!! leaving for the USVI tomorrow!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

You looked beautiful! Congratulations!

Inkdancer

Ahh! You look so beautiful and happy and pretty and ahhh yay!!!!

SmileDamnit

Yaaaayyyy!!! Congratulations! You looked fan-freakin-TASTIC!!