CREATIVE WRITERS PLS HELP! Engagement Party Invite Help! :D

aziegman

First, let me start this off by saying I'm SO lucky to be having an engagement party with both my and Fi's families (immediate and first cousins.). This will take place in late spring/early summer. My parents proposed a Sunday brunch for me because we have religious relatives who would not travel on a Saturday to come for a Saturday evening party. So Sunday it is!

Of course as a multi-tasking bride, I would like to have my out of town BM's and MOH the day before the engagement brunch (Saturday) to try on bridesmaid dresses. Since they are going to be in town that weekend anyway for dress appointments, it only makes sense to host a sunset themed outdoor dinner for my nearest and dearest friends, and surprise the out of town bridesmaids with a gift in their honor of being in my wedding party. This would be in addition to the brunch. 

I started to design my invitation for the engagement party weekend. People who are only invited to the brunch will recieve a brunch invite, which announces engagement and says our names and some catch phrase. People who are invited to both days will get a smaller card that say "Best Friends" as the catch phrase, but I am drawing a blank as to how I can word this and tie the two themes together. The majority of the people we would invite to the Saturday evening are going to be in town anyway for trying on dresses etc, and I've been hinting at things. The bridesmaids have some idea that they are bridesmaids but they have not received a formal invite to do so yet from me. I just told them to make travel arrangements to be here this weekend. I'm just having trouble with wording and tying the two themes together by this wording. Does anyone have any creative and or practical advice for me?

Thank you!!!!!!

CMGragain

I'm sorry but you should not be planning your own engagement party.  You are not the host, you are the honoree.  Your parents should plan the party, not you.

Personally, I don;t like the "together forever" phrase on an engagement party invitation.  It it too presumptuous.  Forever is a long, long time, and many engagements do fall through.  JMHO.

aziegman

Let me clarify - I am a graphic designer who is designing the invitations for my engagement party. I said nothing about planning the party itself. My parents are planning the brunch and hosting the brunch. This is a question about how to tie the two invitations together. If you don't like that phrase, what other phrases would you sugguest? I am a sentimental romantic, and to give you a background, have been with my FI for 6 years prior to our recent engagement. So phrases mean a lot to me!

QueerFemme

CMGragain said:

I'm sorry but you should not be planning your own engagement party.  You are not the host, you are the honoree.  Your parents should plan the party, not you.

Personally, I don;t like the "together forever" phrase on an engagement party invitation.  It it too presumptuous.  Forever is a long, long time, and many engagements do fall through.  JMHO.

Many marriages fall apart too.  Does that mean people should pledge their committments to each other? 

aziegman

QueerFemme said:

Many marriages fall apart too.  Does that mean people should pledge their committments to each other? 

I'm not sure what you mean by this question. Of course engagements and marriages fall apart. It happens! I see how "pledging" is one way of looking at it. Do you have an answer for me regarding how to word both invitations that I'm proposing. Some people will be receiving both invitations. One is an evening party and one is a brunch. The evening party is when I will be making my wedding party announcements to all of the wedding party, both are hosted by my parents in their back yard. Can you help with the wording for the evening party? This is meant for a special crowd. Near and dear people to myself and FI. How do I word each invite?! HELP!!!

misshart00

aziegman said:

QueerFemme said:

Many marriages fall apart too.  Does that mean people should pledge their committments to each other? 

I'm not sure what you mean by this question. Of course engagements and marriages fall apart. It happens! I see how "pledging" is one way of looking at it. Do you have an answer for me regarding how to word both invitations that I'm proposing. Some people will be receiving both invitations. One is an evening party and one is a brunch. The evening party is when I will be making my wedding party announcements to all of the wedding party, both are hosted by my parents in their back yard. Can you help with the wording for the evening party? This is meant for a special crowd. Near and dear people to myself and FI. How do I word each invite?! HELP!!!

QueerFemme's comment was directed at CMGr, not you. Don't worry.

As for your invitations, I think if you just make them the same color and design, they'll look like they go together.

Maggie0829

QueerFemme wasn't directing that question to you OP, she was directing it to CMGr since what CMGr said was utterly ridiculous.

As far as your engagement party invites. I would just stick with something simple like "please join us in celebrating the engagement of Sue and Jim." Then include date, place and time. I am not a big fan of cute wording. I prefer a short and sweet invite. Remember these things will end up in the trash once the party is over with.

As for your BMs. I never think it is a good idea to ask them in a group setting. It really puts pressure on each person to say yes. You never know what may be going on in their lives where they won't be able to participate.

And you said you are going dress shopping? When is your wedding? If you are just having an engagement party then I am guessing your wedding isn't for awhile. It is really too soon to go dress shopping. I mean have you even decided on colors or a venue or a date or an overall feel for your wedding. You kind of need those things first.

But when you do go dress shopping (6-9 months prior depending on the salon) then you need to make sure you ask each girl their budget separately. Don't just pick a dress and expect them to shell out whatever the price tag says.

QueerFemme

aziegman said:

QueerFemme said:

Many marriages fall apart too.  Does that mean people should pledge their committments to each other? 

I'm not sure what you mean by this question. Of course engagements and marriages fall apart. It happens! I see how "pledging" is one way of looking at it. Do you have an answer for me regarding how to word both invitations that I'm proposing. Some people will be receiving both invitations. One is an evening party and one is a brunch. The evening party is when I will be making my wedding party announcements to all of the wedding party, both are hosted by my parents in their back yard. Can you help with the wording for the evening party? This is meant for a special crowd. Near and dear people to myself and FI. How do I word each invite?! HELP!!!

It wasn't a question to you. It was a response to Cmgragain's comment about using the word "forever".  Both engagements and marriages often fall apart.  So, using the word is equally presumptuous for either.  

aziegman

Maggie0829 said:

QueerFemme wasn't directing that question to you OP, she was directing it to CMGr since what CMGr said was utterly ridiculous. As far as your engagement party invites. I would just stick with something simple like "please join us in celebrating the engagement of Sue and Jim." Then include date, place and time. I am not a big fan of cute wording. I prefer a short and sweet invite. Remember these things will end up in the trash once the party is over with. As for your BMs. I never think it is a good idea to ask them in a group setting. It really puts pressure on each person to say yes. You never know what may be going on in their lives where they won't be able to participate. And you said you are going dress shopping? When is your wedding? If you are just having an engagement party then I am guessing your wedding isn't for awhile. It is really too soon to go dress shopping. I mean have you even decided on colors or a venue or a date or an overall feel for your wedding. You kind of need those things first. But when you do go dress shopping (6-9 months prior depending on the salon) then you need to make sure you ask each girl their budget separately. Don't just pick a dress and expect them to shell out whatever the price tag says.

I appreciate your input! Thank you! The wedding is April 2015. I have been engaged since January (YAY!). So June is actually a perfect month for dress shopping. I want to have that happen since all the maids are out of town and this might be one of the only times I have them all together and it is important to me that they share in my vision. I've found that with my experience being a bridesmaid before, not every dress line comes in your idea of "mauve" or "violet" for example. I want the maids to find an identical dress that looks gorgeous and then we will discuss a shade of pink/mauve after they select the dress, at the very least they will walk away with a swatch. I haven't asked the girls what the budget is but I am planning to use a store that has dresses in multiple budgets. ($50-$150, no more.) Since all the maids are out of town I have hinted at being a bridesmaid and they all were very excited at the idea. And All the maids are working professionals so I am lucky that they can afford to spend a little $. 

As for the invite, I like the idea of short and sweet. I just thought the extra card would be something special for them, and since I am a graphic designer, the ideas of how it could look come to me naturally. It's a fun project in my mind.  

PrettyGirlLost

aziegman said:

Maggie0829 said:

QueerFemme wasn't directing that question to you OP, she was directing it to CMGr since what CMGr said was utterly ridiculous. As far as your engagement party invites. I would just stick with something simple like "please join us in celebrating the engagement of Sue and Jim." Then include date, place and time. I am not a big fan of cute wording. I prefer a short and sweet invite. Remember these things will end up in the trash once the party is over with. As for your BMs. I never think it is a good idea to ask them in a group setting. It really puts pressure on each person to say yes. You never know what may be going on in their lives where they won't be able to participate. And you said you are going dress shopping? When is your wedding? If you are just having an engagement party then I am guessing your wedding isn't for awhile. It is really too soon to go dress shopping. I mean have you even decided on colors or a venue or a date or an overall feel for your wedding. You kind of need those things first. But when you do go dress shopping (6-9 months prior depending on the salon) then you need to make sure you ask each girl their budget separately. Don't just pick a dress and expect them to shell out whatever the price tag says.

I appreciate your input! Thank you! The wedding is April 2015. I have been engaged since January (YAY!). So June is actually a perfect month for dress shopping. I want to have that happen since all the maids are out of town and this might be one of the only times I have them all together and it is important to me that they share in my vision. I've found that with my experience being a bridesmaid before, not every dress line comes in your idea of "mauve" or "violet" for example. I want the maids to find an identical dress that looks gorgeous and then we will discuss a shade of pink/mauve after they select the dress, at the very least they will walk away with a swatch. I haven't asked the girls what the budget is but I am planning to use a store that has dresses in multiple budgets. ($50-$150, no more.) Since all the maids are out of town I have hinted at being a bridesmaid and they all were very excited at the idea. And All the maids are working professionals so I am lucky that they can afford to spend a little $. 

As for the invite, I like the idea of short and sweet. I just thought the extra card would be something special for them, and since I am a graphic designer, the ideas of how it could look come to me naturally. It's a fun project in my mind.  

If your wedding is in April of 2015 then June of 2014 is too early to go dress shopping.  Designers change thier color palettes and styles from season to season, so what you find this June will likely not be available next year when your BMs actually have to buy and order their dresses. 

And having been a BM in a ton of weddings so far, I can tell you that there is no way I'd buy a BM dress 10 months out from a wedding.  I could gain or lose weight in that time, become pregnant, etc.

And please be sure to ask them each privately what their dress budget is before deciding on what dress you are picking. I really hate it when other people presume to spend my money.  Do not assume that just because your friends are professionals they have the money or want to spend their money on your BM dress in the price range you have listed. 

I personally would rather spend $150 on a few items from Sephora than on a BM dress that I will wear all of 1 time.  I have done it, because no one has ever asked my budget beforehand, but I would have much rather had the option of buying a dress for under $100.

CMGragain

I am sorry if I offended anyone.  I think what I really meant to say is that invitations should clearly state who, what, when and where.  I tend to discourage any sentimental phrases, and that would definitely include "Together forever".  Short and sweet is best.
OP, I'm glad you aren't really planning your own engagement party. 
I would treat this as two separate events.  The invitation to your engagement party stands on its own. You could enclose the invitation for the evening dinner, or you could send it separately.  You could also just telephone verbal invitations to the dinner.  Good luck!

tammym1001

aziegman said:

First, let me start this off by saying I'm SO lucky to be having an engagement party with both my and Fi's families (immediate and first cousins.). This will take place in late spring/early summer. My parents proposed a Sunday brunch for me because we have religious relatives who would not travel on a Saturday to come for a Saturday evening party. So Sunday it is!

Of course as a multi-tasking bride, I would like to have my out of town BM's and MOH the day before the engagement brunch (Saturday) to try on bridesmaid dresses. Since they are going to be in town that weekend anyway for dress appointments, it only makes sense to host a sunset themed outdoor dinner for my nearest and dearest friends, and surprise the out of town bridesmaids with a gift in their honor of being in my wedding party. This would be in addition to the brunch. 

I started to design my invitation for the engagement party weekend. People who are only invited to the brunch will recieve a brunch invite, which announces engagement and says our names and some catch phrase. People who are invited to both days will get a smaller card that say "Best Friends" as the catch phrase, but I am drawing a blank as to how I can word this and tie the two themes together. The majority of the people we would invite to the Saturday evening are going to be in town anyway for trying on dresses etc, and I've been hinting at things. The bridesmaids have some idea that they are bridesmaids but they have not received a formal invite to do so yet from me. I just told them to make travel arrangements to be here this weekend. I'm just having trouble with wording and tying the two themes together by this wording. Does anyone have any creative and or practical advice for me?

Thank you!!!!!!

I'm just curious how you are going to take them dress shopping on Saturday afternoon, but not ask them to be BM's until Saturday night. I think you might be doing it a little backwards.

I don't have any suggestions for the wording except to just put the information on there that they need to get where they need to go.

theartistformerlyknownas

Sorry, I don't understand this at all. You've "told" them to make travel arrangements for an as-yet unannounced reason, and when they get here you'll spring it on them that you're going bridesmaid dress shopping? Or will you be asking them at some point between now and then whether they'd like to be bridesmaids? I know this wasn't the intention of your initial post but since you put it out there... please ask them ahead of time and in private whether or not they'd like to be your bridesmaids. They're not getting knighted, it doesn't need to be a huge to-do. Then, once they've agreed, make your plans to go dress shopping later - like November/December-ish. It's a huge assumption to think they'll be ready, willing and able to purchase a dress 10 months early (especially if they don't know very far in advance of that day that that's the plan?)... what if someone doesn't have the money readily available to spend, or wants to lose some weight first, etc. and waits, then the dress/color is discontinued in the meantime? Or worse, declines because it can be a big imposition to be a bridesmaid for an out of state wedding?