Reception Dress

emmaaa

So for our wedding we are having the ceremony at a church (there will be low lighting, lots of candles, girls in blush, guys in navy, limited floral, baby's beath and ivy) and will be a very romantic setting. However, we are having a super laid back reception (pig pickin', cornhole, fire pit, and in a cabin) and my FI is very insistent that he wants to be able to change clothes once our pictures are done of the first dance and cake cutting. He gets hot really easily and is very uncomfortable in suits for a long period of time so I am perfectly okay with this.

My question is: should I change also? My wedding gown is beautiful and I am in love with it. It is lace with pearls and beading on it so I would feel very dressed up if he changed. I am not against changing, I may like to in order to be more comforatble, but I'm not sure what to change into. I am also not set on changing into another white dress. Any suggestions would be helpful.

Maggie0829

I would never change out of my dress.  It is the one time you will get to wear it and you should wear it for as long as you can.  You don't need to change just because your groom is changing.  And remember everyone else will still be in their dressy wedding attire so you will not look overdressed just because your groom changes out of his suit.

ElcaB

I wouldn't change, regardless of what FI does. 

emmaaa

@Maggie0829 That is true. I do want to wear it as long a possible. You're right about other guests still being in their previous attire.

@ElcaB He has said he doesn't care if I change and thinks I should stay in my dress anyways. I just needed some feedback to see if I was just overthinking it, which I am.

Thanks ladies! I was completely other thinking this.

Bubblegum5586

Maggie0829 said:

I would never change out of my dress.  It is the one time you will get to wear it and you should wear it for as long as you can.  You don't need to change just because your groom is changing.  And remember everyone else will still be in their dressy wedding attire so you will not look overdressed just because your groom changes out of his suit.

I definitely agree with this, when I finally took my dress off it made me a little sad knowing I would never wear it again! And its totally ok if you are overdressed, you are the Bride!!!

emmaaa

@bubblegum1309 Maybe I'll just change into some comfy shoes. And take off my veil.

MandyMost

I think you should change your shoes (if you want) and take off your veil. He should just take off his jacket and roll up his sleeves, and if he wants to change his shoes also he can. He could also take off his tie and open the top button I suppose. It seems ridiculous for him to entirely change clothes--no one else is changing clothes. Everyone else will still be all dressed up. 

I'd suggest getting a tux/suit that has a nice, full vest, so when the pics are over he can take off the jacket and tie, and still look really nice and put together in the vest and shirt with rolled-up sleeves. 

emmaaa

@MandyMost I think it is fine for him to change his clothes if that's what he prefers to do. I'm not going to dictate that when that was literally the only thing he has requested. It's not like he's putting on tattered jeans and a tuxedo t-shirt. He'll change into nice slacks and a button up. He has said he may just take his jacket and tie off instead but I'm not going to stop him if he wants to change to be more comfortable.

And many people are changing in between the ceremony and reception because there are rooms to change in and most people live within 5 minutes of both locations. Many people have asked me if they can change since it is a pig pickin' and they want to be comfortable. So looking at it from that perspective, we'll have some folks still dressed up and others who have changed so neither of us will be out of place.

ETF: Spelling

MandyMost

In that case, I think it's really important that you spread the news to ALL of your guests that they should feel free to change before the reception. It would never even cross my mind that I should bring a change of clothes to a wedding! And yet I would be pretty pissed if I'm in a cocktail dress and half the guests changed into pants and flats. 

Honestly, I think this is odd. Why are you requiring your guests to get all dressed up for the ceremony, and then expect them to be casual for the reception? There's nothing wrong with being dressy, and there's nothing wrong with being casual, but to have both just seems like a big hassle for everyone. Why not just let all your guests be casual the entire time?!

And if your groom is fine with nice slacks and a button-up, but not OK with taking off a suit jacket and a tie (which leaves....nice slacks and a button-up) then he has been buying the wrong suits! 

emmaaa

 

MandyMost said:

In that case, I think it's really important that you spread the news to ALL of your guests that they should feel free to change before the reception. It would never even cross my mind that I should bring a change of clothes to a wedding! And yet I would be pretty pissed if I'm in a cocktail dress and half the guests changed into pants and flats. 

Honestly, I think this is odd. Why are you requiring your guests to get all dressed up for the ceremony, and then expect them to be casual for the reception? There's nothing wrong with being dressy, and there's nothing wrong with being casual, but to have both just seems like a big hassle for everyone. Why not just let all your guests be casual the entire time?!

And if your groom is fine with nice slacks and a button-up, but not OK with taking off a suit jacket and a tie (which leaves....nice slacks and a button-up) then he has been buying the wrong suits! 

@MandyMost I am not ASKING my guests to change. The wedding is not until December but people do know the ceremony is in a church and the reception is a pig pickin'. So if they would like to change they can. Some will, most probably won't. I'm not sure why it would effect one guest if another person decided to change? The information of ceremony and reception will be on our website, also stating that the reception will be a pig pickin' featuring a whole roasted hog, BBQ, and chicken, so people will be able to decide what they want to wear for the evening. It will also give a website address for our venue.

I'm not requring my guest to get dressed up. They can wear jeans (which honestly, many probably will) or sweatpants if they want. But I do know being that the ceremony is in a church many of the older guests would not feel appropriate in casual attire. I also don't expect them to be casual during the reception unless that is what they decide, that is their perogative. There is no "dress code" because adults know how to dress themselves so I do not need to tell them what to wear, just as I don't need to tell my FI what to wear.

A button up is different than a dress shirt. And when he has a 19-20" neck and a smaller waist, dress shirts become very uncomfortable for him. So a button up shirt (like an Oxford) will fit better for him and be more comfortable.

vmj23

I'd never change!  I love my dress so much and already wish I woudl be able to wear it longer than I am going to be able to.  

emmaaa

@Jenni1221 I know! I'm tempted to wear it the next day too lol

Bubblegum5586

I want to add one more thing. If you decide to stay in your dress, make sure you have a bustle that will hold all night! A lot of times they do break and then its annoying to wear your dress at an after party and such!

emmaaa

@bubblegum1309 I will definitely need advice on which type of bustling to do. I saw @Maggie0829 had posted a guide of all of the different types not to long ago.