XP - Invite Dilemma?

IamFran

I also posted this in the Invites and Paper.

I ordered invitations from WeddingPaperDivas back in January.  At the time, we were not inviting children to our wedding, so I just ordered the invitations and the envelopes - no inner ones.  (I was trying to save money and, of course, got it in the end.)  After talking it over, we decided to include children.  So I contacted WeddingPaperDivas on March 4th and asked if it was possible to order inner and outer envelopes for the invitations that I already purchased.  I was told that it was possible, ordered them and was told that they'd be delivered between March 14th and March 18th.  

Yesterday comes and my order still says "Printing" (nothing is being printed though - I just ordered the envelopes).  I contact them and was told yesterday that they were being prepared for shipment and I would receive an email with the tracking number.  As of this morning, no email and it still said "Printing" - so I contact them again.  Now I'm being told that they don't know when they'll be shipped because they just don't have them.  (Oh, and they refuse to cancel my order and refund me.  I was told that I'd have to return the order after I receive it - whenever that may be.)

My problem is that this Saturday is 8 weeks until my wedding.  While I'm not keen on waiting until 6 weeks prior, I would do it if it meant getting my order.  If it doesn't come, how should I handle the addresses that aren't "standard"?

I have a single mother whose two children have different last names from her and each other.  Do I list them one on top of the other?

There are two invitees that are not dating anyone but are being given the option of bringing a date.  I hate to put "and Guest" - but what else can I do?

I'm probably being overly cautious, but I'd hate to commit a faux pas.  Any thoughts?

antoto

Try http://www.paper-source.com/   I got my invites from etsy, but wanted cooler inner and outer envelopes.  They ship really quickly and they also have stores as well.  

See if you can swing it.

If they are not dating anyone "and guest" is totally acceptable!!

HisGirlFriday13

IamFran said:

I also posted this in the Invites and Paper.

I ordered invitations from WeddingPaperDivas back in January.  At the time, we were not inviting children to our wedding, so I just ordered the invitations and the envelopes - no inner ones.  (I was trying to save money and, of course, got it in the end.)  After talking it over, we decided to include children.  So I contacted WeddingPaperDivas on March 4th and asked if it was possible to order inner and outer envelopes for the invitations that I already purchased.  I was told that it was possible, ordered them and was told that they'd be delivered between March 14th and March 18th.  

Yesterday comes and my order still says "Printing" (nothing is being printed though - I just ordered the envelopes).  I contact them and was told yesterday that they were being prepared for shipment and I would receive an email with the tracking number.  As of this morning, no email and it still said "Printing" - so I contact them again.  Now I'm being told that they don't know when they'll be shipped because they just don't have them.  (Oh, and they refuse to cancel my order and refund me.  I was told that I'd have to return the order after I receive it - whenever that may be.)

My problem is that this Saturday is 8 weeks until my wedding.  While I'm not keen on waiting until 6 weeks prior, I would do it if it meant getting my order.  If it doesn't come, how should I handle the addresses that aren't "standard"?

I have a single mother whose two children have different last names from her and each other.  Do I list them one on top of the other?

There are two invitees that are not dating anyone but are being given the option of bringing a date.  I hate to put "and Guest" - but what else can I do?

I'm probably being overly cautious, but I'd hate to commit a faux pas.  Any thoughts?

We didn't do inner envelopes, but we did invite children, and here's what we did:

My cousin, Jim Smith, his wife, Mary Jones, their two kids, each of whom has a different combination of last names:

Mr. Jim Smith

Ms. Mary Jones

Miss Suzy Jones-Smith

Mr. Billy Smith-Jones

(Do not ask me why my cousin and his wife hyphenated their children's names differently. I do not know.)

I listed my (male) cousin first because he's my biological cousin, then his wife, then their children in birth order. If the wife had been my cousin, I would have listed her, him, kids in birth order.

So for your friend, the single mother:

Ms. Ana Jones

Kid #1

Kid #2

Always list kids in birth order. Use 'Miss' for anyone under 18; 'Mr.' for all boys regardless of age. 

Under the strictest rules of etiquette, the first daughter is 'Miss Surname' and all subsequent daughters are Miss Firstname.

Ex: 

Lord and Lady Crawley

Miss Mary Crawley

Miss Edith

Miss Sybill

(Hardly anyone does that anymore, and it's such an archaic rule that most people don't know it and would be offended by it.)

If you are inviting people with a plus-one (not an SO; if it's an SO, find out that person's name), you can either write 'and guest' on the invite OR you can mark '2 seats have been reserved in your honour' on their RSVP, which should alert them to the fact they can bring a date.

IamFran

Thanks antoto and HisGirlFriday13 - you've put me at ease!  If my order doesn't come in time, I'll just address the outer envelopes.  My main concern was that it would look too crowded with so many names.  But after reading these boards (the Etiquette one in particular), I trust that this isn't a problem.

Thanks again!

(Oh, and Paper Source?  Great designs!  I wish I had known about that site prior to ordering from WPD.)

melbelleup

Thanks antoto and HisGirlFriday13 - you've put me at ease!  If my order doesn't come in time, I'll just address the outer envelopes.  My main concern was that it would look too crowded with so many names.  But after reading these boards (the Etiquette one in particular), I trust that this isn't a problem.

Thanks again!

(Oh, and Paper Source?  Great designs!  I wish I had known about that site prior to ordering from WPD.)

***STUCK IN BOX***

I have only outer envelopes and just address like stated above. Don't worry it doesn't look over crowded or anything I promise!

AroundTheBlock

You should not be using the first names of young children on the outer envelope. It is not that it is awkward as "and Guest" is, but that the safety of the children can be compromised. Invitations rarely fit into the smaller slots of community super-mailboxes or apartment mail-slots, so they get propped on the outside or placed in the common oversize section of the box -- where the children's names are on display along with their addresses, to whomever wants to make a note of them -- including the neighbourhood paedophile.

You can improvise a belly-band to go around the invitation for those few(?) invitations that include children, and write the names on that -- INSIDE the outer envelope that is addressed to their parent(s) only.

phira

We're skipping inner envelopes because they just cost more and don't really add anything to the invitation besides a little more tradition/formality.

To let guests know that children are invited, we're listing children's names under their parents' names. So:

Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Smith

Billy Doe and Emily Doe

HisGirlFriday13

You should not be using the first names of young children on the outer envelope. It is not that it is awkward as "and Guest" is, but that the safety of the children can be compromised. Invitations rarely fit into the smaller slots of community super-mailboxes or apartment mail-slots, so they get propped on the outside or placed in the common oversize section of the box -- where the children's names are on display along with their addresses, to whomever wants to make a note of them -- including the neighbourhood paedophile.

You can improvise a belly-band to go around the invitation for those few(?) invitations that include children, and write the names on that -- INSIDE the outer envelope that is addressed to their parent(s) only.

*stuck in the effing box*

Oh, my God. Really. Really. REALLY?!? Once in a random while you have good advice, and the rest of the time, it's like you're just...I don't even know.

phira

@HisGirlFriday13 I have no idea where any of that advice even comes from. I pretty much give up.

HisGirlFriday13

@phira -- I mean, I'm pretty lax from strict etiquette standards on a lot of things (since etiquette dictates that you should address married couples as either 'Mr. and Mrs. John Doe' or Mr. and Mrs. Doe' and that bugs me), but for the love of God, how are people supposed to know their kids are invited if they're not listed on the invite BY NAME?!?

We are forever telling brides, 'Use correct and full names, not 'and guest' or 'and family' because then you have the defensible position of saying that the invite is only for those whose names are on it.'

If you don't list the kids, and they are invited, that advice becomes moot, and people are going to run willy-nilly with saying, 'Well, my kids weren't listed, but it was a safety issue, and so clearly they're really meant to be included.'

Also, what, these kids don't get postcards? Or birthday cards? Or party invitations? Plusalso, I've never seen a real-life wedding invite that was too big for a standard mailbox (too heavy for regular postage, yes, often, but too big? Never.)

phira

@HisGirlFriday13 I also don't like the traditional ways of addressing couples (for example, I'll put two people on the same line if they're in a relationship even if they're not married) or the way we're supposed to use titles (even when Mr and Mrs John Doe would be correct).

But if I'd been drinking a beverage when I read ATB's advice, it would have come shooting out my nose. You're not supposed to put children's names on an outer envelope because the neighborhood pedophile might see their names? WHA.

(And every invitation I've received has fit into my mailbox. Even my tiny Boston apartment mailbox.)

HisGirlFriday13

@phira -- LOL! I put people on different lines (joined by 'and' if they're married, nothing if they're not) because otherwise, I can't centre it neatly and it bugs me. So every name gets one line. Otherwise it really, really bothers me.