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Getting in Shape
jayandtiffs
member
Overweight Bride - End of the world? Or personal acceptance?
I am about 60 lb overweight. I lost 40 lb in 2011 by exercising 1 hour per day, 6 days per week, and eating what I was supposed to. I went away for my birthday, and unfortunately, never stopped the party. Gained it ALL back with about 5 more pounds extra. I got engaged in 2012 and ever since, I have been hoping that I would do it again and lose the weight again by my wedding day. I have known for about 8 months now where and when the wedding would be. Finding the motivation to lose the weight just hasn't manifested as much as I (believe) I want it to.
I think at this point, two months away from the day.... I am starting to kind of progress... but in the back of my mind, and in my heart, I know I won't be the skinny bride I hoped. I am wondering which others like me went ahead with their weddings (duh), weight issues and all, and don't regret a thing. I think my biggest worry is regretting my photos for the rest of my life. I don't "feel" like an overweight person as I only became one as an adult, however, this is how most people know me so it shouldn't be a huge deal. My fears are not "not being stunning" (my dress rocks, and I look great in it and I love it , even in the size that fits me now) maybe my biggest fears are disappointing others that are seeing me with all the weight I gained the last time they saw me, whether that be high school or whenever it was.... or my other fear is looking back always hating how I look, regretting I couldn't restrict myself for this monumenal occasion and photos. ("I did it before with nothing important going on, why couldn't I buckle down?")
I think I am just hoping for proof life will go on, flaws and all and would love reassurance from brides that had similar fears about their weight and pics. I hope this all made sense. Thanks and if nothing else the show will go on
I think at this point, two months away from the day.... I am starting to kind of progress... but in the back of my mind, and in my heart, I know I won't be the skinny bride I hoped. I am wondering which others like me went ahead with their weddings (duh), weight issues and all, and don't regret a thing. I think my biggest worry is regretting my photos for the rest of my life. I don't "feel" like an overweight person as I only became one as an adult, however, this is how most people know me so it shouldn't be a huge deal. My fears are not "not being stunning" (my dress rocks, and I look great in it and I love it , even in the size that fits me now) maybe my biggest fears are disappointing others that are seeing me with all the weight I gained the last time they saw me, whether that be high school or whenever it was.... or my other fear is looking back always hating how I look, regretting I couldn't restrict myself for this monumenal occasion and photos. ("I did it before with nothing important going on, why couldn't I buckle down?")
I think I am just hoping for proof life will go on, flaws and all and would love reassurance from brides that had similar fears about their weight and pics. I hope this all made sense. Thanks and if nothing else the show will go on
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Overweight Bride - End of the world? Or personal acceptance?
My wedding hasn't happened yet (November 2014), but I feel the same way you do about it. Last year, I dropped 10 lbs in 3 months with little effort then stopped and gained it back and then some. Now, I can't muster the same minimal effort I had even then. It sucks.
It's like I could have written this myself. I hope there are others who chime in with their experiences.
"They say there's no such place... as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth, there's nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it's always the same road. It just goes on and on. But, in spite of that... Why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me... It says, 'Search for Paradise.' " - Kiba, Wolf's Rain
I promise you life does go on. But I think looking great is a mindset. If you feel confident in your own skin, it will show.
I had the same fears you have about my wedding pictures. I wondered if my arms would look flabby in a strapless gown or if I would have that lovely armpit fat/ roll showing. But now when I look at my wedding pictures, all I see is how happy and in love H and I look.
I found a dress that flattered my body and I rocked my curves. Everyone commented on how I was such a happy bride, no one need to know that my thighs were more than touching.
If you are motivated, 2 months is still plenty of time to make some changes. Try little stuff. Dont eat dessert, walk the dog, take the stairs, add a veggie to lunch, get more sleep, etc. It will make a huge difference. I wouldnt try to completely revamp everything you do. A total life overhaul is rarely realistic.
Little tidbit: everyone looks skinnier with a tan. So get a spray tan a day or two before the wedding.
https://www.google.ca/search?q=plus+size+bride&rlz=1C1TSCD_enCA501CA501&espv=210&es_sm=93&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=xUYqU-jgN-OYyAGM1oHIBQ&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1366&bih=667#q=real plus size brides&revid=443026557&tbm=isch&imgdii=_
http://www.pinterest.com/prettypearbride/plus-size-brides/
http://www.pinterest.com/rebeccatree/plus-size-brides/
http://www.pinterest.com/bigcurvylove/plus-size-bride/
I'm about 25 lbs overweight (I am, of course, measuring from the high end of the weight range). When we got engaged last July, I had grand plans of losing weight and then did nothing about it-- pretty much the story of my adult life.
Went for my first fitting in late February, dress was too big on top, fit great in the hips. I said to myself, "I have a month before the second fitting. They already said that because there's so much work to do, they will have to do several fittings. Maybe I can lose some weight in the next month and then they can take the dress in." Flash back to this Tuesday night, went for my fitting, same weight I was when I got engaged.
Got on the scale this morning and I'm five lbs lighter than I was on Monday. I skipped dinner one night (busy schedule, skipping dinner was NOT planned), skipped breakfast one morning (again, not planned- I had an early meeting), and had a protein shake for lunch two days this week instead of eating (mostly because I was booked through lunch and it's easier to have a cup on my desk than try to eat a parfait or a sandwich in a meeting). The wedding is in four weeks, next fitting is in less than 2. I have no delusion that (1) I can keep skipping meals between now and the wedding and (2) that I'm all of a sudden going to turn into a fitness nut.
It seems like I finally made my peace with being this size for the wedding and then lost five lbs. What the hell?
What others have said about your FI loving you for who you are--that's totally true and should be taken to heart. And if we actually make the time to eat better and become more active, we'll just naturally be emotionally and physically in a better place. I've been thinking a lot about my posture as well.
But when I am feeling really down, I turn to this message which puts things back into perspective for me: http://myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed/
Best, best luck to you! Hope you find that happy place!
--William Shakespeare (Sonnet 25)