"The polite way to ask for cash"?? Are you kidding me, Wedding Wire?

TeddiD34

Check this out: https://www.depositagift.com/signup

They list the fee for this in the FAQ section.

Thoughts?

sofakingmad

• Basic Plan: 4% DAG fee (no upfront fee) + cc
• Full Service Plan: $49 one-time flat charge reduces your DAG fee to 3% + cc
• Total Control Plan: $149 one-time flat charge reduces your DAG fee to 2% + cc

Rebl90

Eww.

sofakingmad

I'm pretty lax about certain etiquette things, but asking for cash in any way grinds my gears.

I mean, I wasn't even offended by HM registries until I came here and found out that they are a sham. 

hikebikebemerry

My favorite line: 7.5% is much lower than what a gift-giver would normally pay for taxes, shipping and gift wrap, so everybody wins. Even if you return your gifts for cash, you never get the shipping and gift wrap money back; that has gone to waste. And unlike gift cards, the cash in your DAG account can be used on anything you choose, at any venue you select.

I vote tacky.

peachy0722

I don't even understand that. People know they can give you cash. 

It's like a honeymoon registry, except they're blatantly owning up to the fact that they are asking for cash, instead of pretending it's for "a couple's massage" etc etc. Worse? Or simply just as bad? I can't decide.

ETA: Ok I guess they suggest you can use it for your honeymoon, so it is (or can be) a honeymoon registry, but somehow it still seems more tacky. Maybe because the word "cash" is everywhere.

Blue_Bird

Was there a link to this Wedding Wire or something?

chibiyui

Oh man. So tacky. FI on Sunday asked if there was a polite way to put on our website that we also would like cash, in addition to our registries. I told him, "No honey, there is not a polite way to ask for money, and everyone knows cash is a good gift." His response? "Well, if I saw someone had a registry, I'd just get them stuff off of that. I wouldn't think that they wanted cash" *facepalm*

Simky906

@blue_bird I can't speak for OP but I get emails from weddingwire and that link was what they sent out in today's email

NYCBruin

hikebikebemerry said:

My favorite line: 7.5% is much lower than what a gift-giver would normally pay for taxes, shipping and gift wrap, so everybody wins. Even if you return your gifts for cash, you never get the shipping and gift wrap money back; that has gone to waste. And unlike gift cards, the cash in your DAG account can be used on anything you choose, at any venue you select.

I vote tacky.

Putting the tackiness aside for a moment, this is just stupid.  Eventually you're going to use the money to buy SOMETHING, at which point someone is still going to be paying taxes.  The point about shipping is stupid, because again, the receiver may end up having something "of their choosing" anyways and so many places offer free shipping now.

Stupid and tacky.

I really don't understand why people think it's difficult to give a cash gift.  Seriously, there is nothing difficult about giving cash as a gift, no need to make it "easier."

smalfrie19

uughh I got that email and I deleted it STRAIGHT AWAY! 

Aray82

Yuck. I got this today too since our website is through WW. Well, what I "really want" is for as many of our friends and family as possible to come to our wedding and have a kick-ass time. Anything else, from our registry or not, would be a lovely bonus. How did we get to the point where just the fact that people are kind enough to buy you a gift (regardless of whether's it's something you "ask for") isn't good enough??

Also, I'd really like someone to grade this stack of literature midterms for me too, but there are some things you can't put on a registry :P

hikebikebemerry

hikebikebemerry said:

My favorite line: 7.5% is much lower than what a gift-giver would normally pay for taxes, shipping and gift wrap, so everybody wins. Even if you return your gifts for cash, you never get the shipping and gift wrap money back; that has gone to waste. And unlike gift cards, the cash in your DAG account can be used on anything you choose, at any venue you select.

I vote tacky.

Putting the tackiness aside for a moment, this is just stupid.  Eventually you're going to use the money to buy SOMETHING, at which point someone is still going to be paying taxes.  The point about shipping is stupid, because again, the receiver may end up having something "of their choosing" anyways and so many places offer free shipping now.

Stupid and tacky.

I really don't understand why people think it's difficult to give a cash gift.  Seriously, there is nothing difficult about giving cash as a gift, no need to make it "easier."

*Stuck in the Box*

It also discounts the fact that if people spend money on wrapping a gift, it's likely because they just like to give pretty gifts. And for people who normally give cash/ check, I always have viewed a card as a gift in and of itself- so that is not a "fee" associated with the giving, I believe that it is part of the gift.

Blue_Bird

Simky906 said:

@blue_bird I can't speak for OP but I get emails from weddingwire and that link was what they sent out in today's email

Wow, that is B.S.C. I know The Knot posts some questionable things, but I don't think they'd ever go that far.

E.T.A.- I take that back. I just remembered the "Secret Mod" debacle!

grumbledore

Blue_Bird said:

Was there a link to this Wedding Wire or something?

WW sent it out in an email yesterday.

blabla89

hikebikebemerry said:

My favorite line: 7.5% is much lower than what a gift-giver would normally pay for taxes, shipping and gift wrap, so everybody wins. Even if you return your gifts for cash, you never get the shipping and gift wrap money back; that has gone to waste. And unlike gift cards, the cash in your DAG account can be used on anything you choose, at any venue you select.

I vote tacky.

That is ridiculous. I can almost always find a free or discount shipping code if I choose to order online.

TeddiD34

@Blue_Bird

I'm not sure. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have an account with WW, so I get their email crap sent to me, and this was the lovely one I received yesterday.

I thought I'd share with you all. I did not approve either. ASKING for cash is plain wrong; there's no "polite" way to do it.

MGP

hikebikebemerry said:

hikebikebemerry said:

My favorite line: 7.5% is much lower than what a gift-giver would normally pay for taxes, shipping and gift wrap, so everybody wins. Even if you return your gifts for cash, you never get the shipping and gift wrap money back; that has gone to waste. And unlike gift cards, the cash in your DAG account can be used on anything you choose, at any venue you select.

I vote tacky.

Putting the tackiness aside for a moment, this is just stupid.  Eventually you're going to use the money to buy SOMETHING, at which point someone is still going to be paying taxes.  The point about shipping is stupid, because again, the receiver may end up having something "of their choosing" anyways and so many places offer free shipping now.

Stupid and tacky.

I really don't understand why people think it's difficult to give a cash gift.  Seriously, there is nothing difficult about giving cash as a gift, no need to make it "easier."

*Stuck in the Box*

It also discounts the fact that if people spend money on wrapping a gift, it's likely because they just like to give pretty gifts. And for people who normally give cash/ check, I always have viewed a card as a gift in and of itself- so that is not a "fee" associated with the giving, I believe that it is part of the gift.

This is so gross.  The fact that this site is encouraging couples to nickel and dime their guests for everything they are worth and try to recoup the value of gifts including sales tax and gift wrap is absolutely disgusting.  This is like telling your guests "instead of sending me a wrapped gift just send me the cash for the total amount you paid".  Why don't they just take the sale person's commission and the gas money I used to drive to the store too?  I don't support honeymoon registries in any way, but I feel in most cases the money is at least used towards the honeymoon usually because the couple booked a vacation they couldn't afford on their own.  This, on the other hand, is a complete scam.  They should be ashamed of themselves.

When I decide on how much to spend on a gift (any gift) I never factor in tax and shipping.  Never.  If I want to spend $100, I don't buy a $75 gift and figure $8 will go towards tax, $5 towards gift wrap, and $12 towards shipping.  I buy a gift for $100 and the rest of that stuff comes with the territory.  If for some reason the extra fees were astronomical (which has NEVER happened) I would just pick something else.  Maybe I am wrong, but I thought that's how most people handled it.

MGP

DragonBlood13 said:

• Basic Plan: 4% DAG fee (no upfront fee) + cc
• Full Service Plan: $49 one-time flat charge reduces your DAG fee to 3% + cc
• Total Control Plan: $149 one-time flat charge reduces your DAG fee to 2% + cc

One more thing - do couples not care losing some of this money to fees?  If they are doing this to begin with, I would think they would be "on a budget" to put it nicely.

For my wedding we were gifted a hugely generous amount of cash from our guests (without even uttering the words "cash" at any time).  I won't say how much because it's not the point, but let's just say that with this fee schedule I would have lost AT LEAST $1000.  Was taking the checks to the bank worth my class, dignity, and the money? Absolutely.  That money is still sitting my my savings account today collecting interest.

SP29

Ewww!

I don't get it. I am all for giving cash (I often give cash as a gift), but why do I need a website to do it, PARTICULARLY when the site is going to take a cut! Psht, that's what a card and envelope are for! 

AllOnOneDay

Gee, I actually rather enjoy finding a lovely card, writing well wishes to the couple and placing a check or crisp, new bill in the card to send to the couple.

DF has two women at his office getting married. One is very polite about her wedding, has only mentioned it to get time off work. They are happy with the JOP route, she certainly is not one who will go for a PPD. I don't mind playing "big sister" and helping a bit if she needs. This is a genuinely nice couple who have very little and are making it work. So, they've gotten some good bits for their home because they're very thankful for a set of matching plates. We are friendly outside of work, so this seems reasonable to me.

The PPD money grab fest. Invite on the break room wall to dancing only. BYOB as couple is underage to buy. Blatantly on invite "No checks, cash only!" Honey fund and a store on registry card. List has nothing under $150. Part of me wants to go, just for the train wreck. But, otherwise, we're doing nothing and I'll send a basic, polite card but no money of any sort is going. I probably wouldn't send even a card, but my mother and grandmother will come back to smite me if I don't. Darn Southern family training.

cowgirl8238

AllOnOneDay said:

Gee, I actually rather enjoy finding a lovely card, writing well wishes to the couple and placing a check or crisp, new bill in the card to send to the couple. DF has two women at his office getting married. One is very polite about her wedding, has only mentioned it to get time off work. They are happy with the JOP route, she certainly is not one who will go for a PPD. I don't mind playing "big sister" and helping a bit if she needs. This is a genuinely nice couple who have very little and are making it work. So, they've gotten some good bits for their home because they're very thankful for a set of matching plates. We are friendly outside of work, so this seems reasonable to me. The PPD money grab fest. Invite on the break room wall to dancing only. BYOB as couple is underage to buy. Blatantly on invite "No checks, cash only!" Honey fund and a store on registry card. List has nothing under $150. Part of me wants to go, just for the train wreck. But, otherwise, we're doing nothing and I'll send a basic, polite card but no money of any sort is going. I probably wouldn't send even a card, but my mother and grandmother will come back to smite me if I don't. Darn Southern family training.

Please come back and tell us about the trainwreck!  I love reading those stories.  Also, I wouldn't give her more than a card either.

wrigleyville

Annnnnnnnd that bit about "returning gifts for cash" is just plain wrong. Many stores give you store credit, not cash.