Wedding 911

My planner refuses to provide a timeline. What should I do?

Several times, I've asked my wedding planner for a detailed timeline of what to expect during the wedding planning process but she refuses to give it to me.  She will only give me the next one or two steps.  My fiance' and I have both talked to her and she finally agreed only to give us a detailed timeline if we would first provide her a timeline and she would fill in/correct what was missing.  She claims she doesn't know what we want.  Is it normal for a wedding planner to refuse to provide a bride with a timeline, especially when one has been specifically requested? 

Answers

  • I didn't use a planner, so I can't answer that directly.

    But broadly, I wouldn't use ANY vendor who 'refused' to give me information I asked for.

    Since you're talking about the planning process and (I assume) deadlines and time tables, she can't claim it's proprietary or she's worried about you using her time line and not using her.

    I would send her a polite, but firm, email that tells her you except a detailed timeline by X date with Y information.

    If she doesn't send it, find another planner.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I can only speak from my personal experience, but my coordinator gave us a very detailed timeline as soon as we met with her for the first time.  It pretty much lined up with timelines found here on TK and WW, but it was personalized for the specific time frame we had and based off of our priorities.

    I just want to echo what HisGirl said, I would not stand for a vendor who "refused" to do anything. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • It's not normal. Our planner already provided us with a timeline (as one of the examples of what she would arrange for us) at our first meeting, before we had even decided on hiring her. 

    Once we started the actual planning with her she sent us a personalised one (the example she has showed was for another couple, anonimised of course), and it'll be updated when/ where necessary. 

    What you describe to me sounds like she doesn't know how to make a timeline. Perhaps you should ask her whether that is indeed the case, maybe that gets her to actually send you one. 
    DanielleLatrice
  • Our day of Coordinator got a timeline worked out after we met with her to try the food from the Chef  & go over everything.
    She has adjusted it after speaking to our vendors and figuring out how much time everyone needs too.
    That sounds pretty fishy and stressful!
  • I think it's reasonable to know at this point we'll be dealing with DJ's, then at this point, florist, by this point I need you to have invites figureds out. That is what you are asking for is sounds like & that is not unreasonable at all.
  • No, this is definitely NOT okay.

    I am working with a professional planner — not an onsite coordinator or someone provided by the venue. I hired her specifically for planning and running the show, and creating this timeline for us is a huge part of her job.

    She HAS to share it with you to make sure you approve of how everything is planned to happen!

    The fact that she is avoiding sharing anything with you is disturbing, not to mention the fact that she is making you feel uncomfortable and wonder if she has her sh*t together. Do you really want to be feeling like that on your Wedding Day?

    If you have any other option, I would fire her right away and bring someone new on board. If for no other reason than that you can't trust her to take care of stuff and work collaboratively with you.
  • What does your contract say?  If it says she is to provide a timeline, then she's on the hook.  This seems fishy to me; proceed with caution.
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