Question on parents' names

RosieC18

Hi all, I have an invitation wording question and really appreciate your advice. 

A bit of background: my parents are quite casual, don't care that much about tradition and kind of hippies. His parents and extended family are very traditional/formal. We're trying to find some middle ground and for most things it hasn't been an issue (although we had to talk my dad into a suit, and his out of a tux).

We spoke with my parents this weekend about invitation language and my mother announced that she does not want the invitation to come from "Dr. and Mrs. Steven Singer" because she doesn't want to be subsumed into my father's identity (not their real names). Great, I get it. She is Mrs. Margaret Singer. So, the question is what (if anything) can we do that will satisfy etiquette/tradition while respecting my mothers wishes? The best I've come up with so far is "Dr. Steven and Mrs. Margaret Singer."

Suggestions most welcome.

CMGragain

Ms. Margaret Singer and Doctor Steven Singer
request the pleasure of  your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Ann
to
Mr. Prince Charming
Day, date
time
Venue
Address
City, State

photokitty

Or you can leave off their names entirely and say:

Together with their families

Rosie C18
and 
Mr. Prince Charming 
request the pleasure of  your company at their marriage.
Day, date
time
Venue
Address
City, State

RosieC18

Thanks for the responses. I suggested the latter but FI is worried that his relatives will read that to mean my parents don't approve of the marriage. Maybe that's not actually a thing?

If the "Mrs Margaret and Doctor Steven Singer" formulation is considered "correct" we will probably go with that.

Thanks again for the help, this community is an excellent resource!

HisGirlFriday13

I have always viewed 'together with their families' to mean the couple is doing the hosting of the wedding, but their families have been involved in the planning and approve of the union.

I don't know anyone who thinks that failing to list the entire family tree of all the participants means anything other than they're being economical with space on an already crowded piece of paper.

CMGragain

Ms. Margaret Singer is more correct.  Mrs. Margaret Singer usually indicates a divorced woman.

huskypuppy14

CMGragain said:

Ms. Margaret Singer is more correct.  Mrs. Margaret Singer usually indicates a divorced woman.

I think it depends on what the woman prefers. Almost all of my relatives prefer Mrs. to Ms. if they are married or widowed.  If her mother prefers Mrs. Margaret Singer, than that is what she should use. 

CMGragain

laurynm84 said:

CMGragain said:

Ms. Margaret Singer is more correct.  Mrs. Margaret Singer usually indicates a divorced woman.

I think it depends on what the woman prefers. Almost all of my relatives prefer Mrs. to Ms. if they are married or widowed.  If her mother prefers Mrs. Margaret Singer, than that is what she should use. 

I agree that a woman can choose how she prefers to be addresses, but it is common practice for the Mrs. title to be linked to the husband's name.  Hippie, modern, laid back ladies like the OP describes usually like Ms. Jane Lastname.   Personally, I like the traditional Mrs. John Bridesfather, but just because I like it, doesn't mean that everyone else has to do it.

huskypuppy14

CMGragain said:

laurynm84 said:

CMGragain said:

Ms. Margaret Singer is more correct.  Mrs. Margaret Singer usually indicates a divorced woman.

I think it depends on what the woman prefers. Almost all of my relatives prefer Mrs. to Ms. if they are married or widowed.  If her mother prefers Mrs. Margaret Singer, than that is what she should use. 

I agree that a woman can choose how she prefers to be addresses, but it is common practice for the Mrs. title to be linked to the husband's name.  Hippie, modern, laid back ladies like the OP describes usually like Ms. Jane Lastname.   Personally, I like the traditional Mrs. John Bridesfather, but just because I like it, doesn't mean that everyone else has to do it.

Good point!

Jen4948

While this is not traditional, you could leave titles off and just use names:

Margaret and Steven Singer
etc.

majesty318

I used just first names because my dad didn't want my mom to show up only as Mrs. Dadsname. Other than that, my invitations use very formal and traditional wording. But I didn't like Ms. Momsname because my mom always goes by Mrs., and I also didn't want to use Mrs. Momsname if that is normally for widows.

So I decided to take one liberty with formality and skip the titles.

CMGragain

@majesty318 Just for clarification, widows are traditionally Mrs. John Doe.  Their name does not change when their spouse dies.  Mrs. Jane Doe is most often used by divorcees with children.  Ms. Jane Doe is an option for any woman.