Moms and Maids

need some advice

Ok for rehearsal isn't it suppose to be the bridal party right? Or am I wrong? My fmil wants to bring a bunch of people who I only kno a couple of them. I don't feel all these people need to be there. We are having a rehearsal dinner that they all are more than welcome to come to. Should I or my fl say something to her?
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Re: need some advice

  • jessi3617 said:
    Ok for rehearsal isn't it suppose to be the bridal party right? Or am I wrong? My fmil wants to bring a bunch of people who I only kno a couple of them. I don't feel all these people need to be there. We are having a rehearsal dinner that they all are more than welcome to come to. Should I or my fl say something to her?
    Who's paying for the RD?
  • Both of our parents.
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Generally the rehearsal would only be for the people who are actually in the wedding and their SO's. Anyone can be invited to the dinner afterwards though. Depending on when and where you are having your ceremony and your officiant they may not want a bunch of extra people there anyways. It can be hard enough to get the bridal party all paying attention. I can imagine that would be near impossible with a bunch of people there who have no reason to be paying attention to what's going on. Perhaps you could bring it up to your FMIL like that. You want everyone to know what they are supposed to do and get out of there as quickly as possible and that will be easier with just the wedding party in attendance. 
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  • Is she inviting people to the Rehearsal that are not invited to the wedding? That would be a red flag.  Area they family friends? Extended family?  It sounds weird to me, but there's not much information to go on.

    Since they are contributing the RD, they can technically invite who they prefer (on top of the BP), but they should be wedding guests as well. 

    This is something your FI needs to talk to his mother about.
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  • Rebl like I stated they are more than welcome to come to the rehearsal dinner. That neither me or my fl have a problem with. I'm talking about the actual rehearsal at the church. The dinner anyone she invites is more than welcome. I'm just concerned about the actual rehearsal at the church.
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  • The rehearsal at the church should involve only the people actually involved -- WP, officiants, musicians, etc. 

    If they have SOs who have nothing else to do, then the SOs can come hang out in the church until the rehearsal is over.

    No one not directly involved in the wedding or connected to someone who is (i.e., NOT your FMIL's random friends) need to be at the rehearsal. Too many people will just make things take longer.

    If they're not invited to the wedding, they don't belong at the RD, either.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    lc07melbelleupJen&Mike8
  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    The only wedding rehearsals I have attended have been those for weddings I was in and one for a wedding FI was in, when we were going to the rehearsal dinner straight from there.  I have been to several rehearsal dinners for rehearsals I did not attend (family or out of town friends invited to RD). 

    But then again, if your rehearsal is in a publicly accessible place (house of worship, public space), anyone who wants to attend it and watch can.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Why would anyone who isn't involved in the wedding want to go to a rehearsal.  They are boring enough for the people in the wedding as it is.  I think your FMIL is crazy to think that these people will actually want to come and watch a rehearsal when they will see the real thing the next day.

    I would tell your FMIL that per your officiant, only those involved in the wedding ceremony should be at the rehearsal so that there isn't a crowd and people don't get distracted by others.

    And are these people your FMIL is trying to invite, invited to the wedding?  If they aren't then they shouldn't even be coming to the RD, let alone the rehearsal.

    melbelleup
  • Your FI needs to let him mom know that her additional people are welcome to meet you at the restaurant* after the rehearsal. It's really odd to have them at the actual rehearsal, and would make me uncomfortable.

    *assuming these people are invited to the wedding. Otherwise, they shouldn't be invited at all.
  • When I got the list of names like I know a couple but there were some on there I didnt recognize their names. So honestly I have no idea. Fmil n I do not have a good relationship so I try staying away.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Your fiance needs to tell her there is no reason for gawkers at the rehearsal. It's not a play. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    melbelleup
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    There's no reason to invite people to a rehearsal who aren't in the wedding party or immediate family members.

    Have your FI tell his mother that these people should not be invited to the rehearsal.  And if they're not invited to the wedding, they should also not be invited to the rehearsal dinner.
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