So my brother is a groomsman in my wedding. All the guys will be wearing grey tuxes with grey vests, ivory shirts, and a champagne/gold ties. All the guys were on board and a couple weeks ago my brother said he may not even go to the wedding (for his own selfish reasons... I'll explain a little back story in a sec). Anyways, a few hours after saying that, my brother said he would most likely stick it out and go to the wedding and said he'd get fitted for the tux this week. Today I just got a text from him saying he got fitted but refuses to wear an ivory shirt because he'll sweat through it. He said he's going to wear his black shirt instead. I suggested that he bring a second shirt for the reception but that didn't fly, he is adamant. Now my FH is saying "He can wear a black shirt, but not in my wedding party." (because he'll stick out) Any ideas on how to handle this or should I just let it go and let him have his way? Really, I could care less but my fiancé cares and my parents say not to back down because he's always selfish like this.... I just don't know.
Okay, here's some backstory on my brother, just so you kind of have an idea of how selfish and stubborn he can be during important events in my life:
At my grade 12 grad, my parents asked him to dress up nicely so he showed up in wrinkly clothes and didn't even bother brushing his hair or shaving (basically to pick a fight with my parents). Then fast forward to my university graduation... he didn't want to come because I was graduating before him and in his words, "make (him) feel like a failure" because I am younger. We discussed the importance of him coming at lengths but in the end, he never came. Then I was previously engaged and he was supposed to be my MoH at the time but decided to back out a few months before because he had broken up with his fiancé a year before that and didn't want to have any involvement in weddings anymore (which I was sensitive to and completely understood and supported his choice. In the end I didn't even get married). We have always had a good relationship and completely trust and support one another but this seems to happen during every important event in my life and I know he is just doing it to pick a fight with my parents and get attention. However, we've been tip-toeing around him for too long because he's been depressed and nobody wants to push him over the edge because he has mentioned suicide before. I'm at my witts end and don't know what to do. I always give him what he wants and it's not like the freaking colour of a shirt will make or break the day but the thing that's troubling me is that it seems to be very important to my parents and fiancé.
(and here just earlier today I was thinking about how smoothly things were going. Guess I jinxed myself. Lol)